Transcript of my conversation with Jeremy Lasman 9/19/2023

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Hey everybody and welcome to another episode of Knocked Conscious with Mark Puls. I just finished a three and a half hour conversation with Jeremy Lasman. He's the founder of The Passion Company.

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You can find it at thepassioncompany.org. We had a very deep nuanced conversation, my head's still buzzing. I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed being part of it. Here it is.

Thanks. Take care. So, we don't know each other.

We've never met Amber reached out through matchmaker.fm, which sounds like a dating profile site, but it's the strangest name. But if there's anything you want me to remove after, feel free to just let me know. You know, put a time stamp on it.

Oh, I missed that something, I guess. I love long format. It allows us to get nuanced.

I listened to your hour. It was two half hours with the British gentleman. Okay, August, I guess he put it out in August.

So, every answer that you give me will probably open 15 questions, not really answer my question. So, it's one of those not to be combative. It's like, tell me where you're at.

And I like to kind of unwind that because I have a lot of thoughts and I have some interesting things because I'm curious about your history and how you got where you got. Let's do this. So, welcome to Knocked Conscious.

Could I ask you if you may, I'm sure you're sending us out on some kind of tour, but how did you and or Amber come across my show, I guess, or how did what compelled you to maybe reach out unless you're just kind of blasting a couple of people? No, it's we're on the lookout for podcasts where I can get the message out on what I'm doing. And you had mentioned the matchmaker. That's just been a really good way to connect and kind of get through the noise of, you know, you know, the other person is wanting to find great guests and you're looking to find great shows.

And it's not a lot of fluff like LinkedIn and like a lot of extra noise on there. So, yeah, we've been using matchmaker and glad we were able to find you. I love podcasts, by the way, not conscious.

Yeah, I'm happy to get into that. But I'm more curious about you, obviously, because I come here when I don't generally respond to everyone on the matchmaker site. If someone does, I'll definitely respond or say no, thank you.

Or, you know, there's a lot of that. I don't often do this. But when Amber reached out, something just pinged.

I listened to that podcast, like I mentioned, and it just sounded like a good fit. So we could start anywhere you want. We could just do a quick brush or like a bio history to, you know, up into the probably the SpaceX thing, brush over through that and then go through where you're at and how we're getting there.

You lead it off, man. You're curious. All right.

Let's do it. OK, so you're I think you I don't want to say your age. Can I say your age from what I researched if I'm OK? Thirty five.

Is that OK? Share birthday with Einstein. That would. And then I look that up because I'm a geek.

So I need to look that up, obviously. March 14th, if I'm not mistaken. OK, I think.

Yeah. Yeah. And imagine 2015.

That'd been great. Or actually in was it in 1514, I guess. Two point three point one four one five, right? Yeah.

And five to nine. So I guess 1529 would have been the best. March 14th, 1529 would have been the best date to be born.

Is that sound about right? Probably. So you're born and I know very little bit, but I kind of glance over what your childhood was like. So tell me about your childhood, because your childhood and your adulthood sound very different and very similar to probably similar, something I kind of went through.

So I'm curious. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm an only child. So definitely, definitely, you know, didn't have that brother or sister experience, small family. And man.

Yeah. When you when you say the evolution there, the transformation, it's it's wild to to go back there and feel. Just.

Yeah, the. I was I was a very quiet and introverted, shy and and highly sensitive, but I didn't I didn't know. And neither did my parents have the equippedness to kind of know what that meant, especially years back, you know, kind of prior to like a lot that has changed in society right now with with how children are.

So I was highly sensitive, but in an energetic way that I didn't know or was equipped to understand. And so I was very much, you know, bombarded by a lot of environmental people, emotional and empathetic data in my environment and in school and all of that. So that I think definitely distracted me, but also gave me the the juice for my freedom and mastery of of of what that meant once I became aware or, you know, not conscious from from being kind of.

Imprisoned by just. Overthinking and highly sensitive to just data and information and processing and trying to understand things. And so that definitely gave me the impetus for, you know.

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My personal development journey kind of after college I had. I really didn't like school growing up. I don't know.

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Were you the same way or did you enjoy school? It's odd, but I excelled, but I. It's very odd, because I was probably an introvert. I was extroverted introvert, so I. Was. I was able to come to forge relationships, but didn't feel right in any of them.

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Yeah, so I was able to blend in now. It's really hard to explain. I think I was actually two different people to be honest with you.

If I were to be honest with you might get into that a little later, but I had a. Different childhood. If I may go back to your child, do you have an anecdotal story of the highly sensitive? Because that certainly. Definitely aligns with that input of information and I understand I've added myself.

You walk into a room and your mood changes because you feel the mood of the room. Yeah, I mean it happens in general in a big sense like at a comedy show or at a concert. Those are those are general, but those are just such mass experiences that humans just get into.

But sometimes to your point, there are some people who get higher doses of that or more concentrations at lower levels like on a one on one level. Yeah, I think you know to put it anecdotally, I think the best way to kind of wrap it is it. Because of the you know.

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Attention to which I was raised like it really kind of it kind of led itself to just kind of being a people pleaser. So I knew how to feel other people's emotions and know it's similar to what you were saying, like kind of know how to act so that they can be pleased with me and know. When I was, you know, hitting landmines of sort and know how to just using all the energy to kind of like please whoever I was with, because that just allowed me to feel safe by, you know, using my empathy and the sensitivity that way.

But I kind of made myself invisible because of that and kind of a low self worth, insecure, wasn't really truly able to express myself until way later on when I actually realized like, oh, I have a voice like I'm allowed to speak, you know, but that happened pretty late later on. But I would say it's that mix of people pleaser and then just like a deep seated rebellion against everything. I mean, against authority, against school, you know, being locked into a desk all day like I was just so intelligent to the man.

This is not the way it should be if it was up to me. But I don't have a voice, so it's not up to me. I have to please my parents.

I have to, you know, please the teachers. But like in the background was like rebelliousness, you know, like bending, bending the rules. I mean, like as much as you can, right? So you can get away with.

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Yeah, not not like overtly brave. Like I wasn't a bad kid, but I know what you mean. Like testing the water is like testing the fence, right? You're seeing where just more in a weird way, probably messing with people, seeing where you can get away with stuff just to see it because you're bored and your brain's just going a mile a minute.

Exactly, exactly. Spot on. Yeah.

Yeah. I definitely know. Like I was better in school, but it was more it wasn't consciously done.

It was literally I could sit there, have a conversation in the back of the room and the teacher would call me and ask me what she just said. And I would verbatim read it back, like verbatim, say it back. And she get mad at me because I was able to do that.

So current not challenges at all. But my girlfriend, I can talk at her and she could talk to me while I'm talking. I could both talk and listen.

It sounds like weird, but I have this ability to kind of be able to take in information as I'm speaking because it's all one to me. It all kind of flows together. But I'm sure I don't do it well.

I'm sure the multitasking is not so good as I think. But I tend to think I I think I listen. OK, but maybe she'll argue that.

But OK, so as a child, then at what? So I would have probably been a type of person to discover, actually find you out as a friend. I would have. I would have found you out and befriended you.

We would probably hung out. And I know that sounds very odd, but I was one of these people that I didn't care what who people were. I didn't like there was no.

So there was no status for me. It's just whether people interested me or not. So if I were interested, I would be like, you sound like an OK person.

Let's go. Like, what do you got? So I'm sorry that you kind of went through that. Did you have a few friends or a couple of close friends or? Oh yeah, how would you? Yeah, I had a tight knit group of friends kind of on the outskirts of the social, you know, played a lot of sports during lunches and basically everything to kind of stay away from any attention or, you know, social awkwardness.

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Uh, but yeah, I still have those friends to this day. And then, yeah, later on it was I definitely could fit in with any group. But, you know, I definitely wasn't putting myself out there in any capacity until I started to kind of experiment with like acting and some stage things.

But yeah, I love I'm behind the scenes. I fell in love with editing. OK, so on that front, you actually are the Jeremy Lassman in IMDb as an actor.

Are you? Yes. OK, so I I didn't even look at that because I obviously was just a quick connection and I didn't get to look everything up. So tell me about that.

When did the acting when was the first bug hit? When did you say, hey, I think this is something was some of your parents pushed you toward or was it something? Oh, no, no, no. No, it was. OK, so my love for film started, you know, well, like kind of the getting into the back.

Backstage or production side of things happened in sixth or seventh grade when I was introduced to video editing and the art of it. And, you know, we had a video like a new video production class where I got to learn, you know. How it's done and the timeline and just the craft of editing that I fell in love with because a it was something to like really immerse myself into passion wise and then be it was a way to kind of tune out the rest of the world and just get sucked into into that creativity.

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Of. Thinking about. Timelines and and editing splitting and everything that makes it like good editing and just what you can do with that.

I kind of really fell in love with and then just cinema in general. I'm not a cinephile on the level of like, you know, Tarantino, where I know every single genre and every single movie. But no, I love I love films.

I consider myself a cinephile, maybe not with the broadest of knowledge, but like Kubrick is my favorite director. OK, perfect. I was going to ask, what would you describe as probably one of your most visually stunning movies if you were and if you said Kubrick, I would guess 2001.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, basically also Kubrick. Orange is an awkward orange fan might be even above that. Just it's a better movie.

It's a better movie. It's just visually 2001. How else could we have landed on the moon without his help? Right.

They're not until then. Yeah, I can gush about that forever. We can talk about that for sure.

Yeah. And then I'm sure we'll get into pro wrestling, too. But the Andre the Giant shirt.

Oh, nice. Nice. Roots of Fight dot com.

Yeah. Go check it out. Worth it.

So I did my own, you know, editing little things like that. My first, I guess, foray into acting. I don't know if you did video projects in classes like Spanish video projects or a English projects, but we got to do videos.

So doing like video parodies of Macbeth. Oh, cool. Spanish class.

We did a Star Wars where I learned how to do rotoscoping for lightsabers and I was in it as well. But so that was like my first acting. And then and that's I would guess what's that 2000 then? Is that right around that time? 2002? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Because I'm old already at that point.

So yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah.

So video. It was the video part of it or the creation behind the scenes almost the production of said video that you do see is how was that made or how did you do that? Yeah. So versus like computer tech versus it wasn't a computer side.

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It was more of a video side, like a more of a movie video type side. Movie video. I mean, I did have a I built my own computers.

So that's what I that's what I was asking. That's kind of getting there. Yeah.

Still have a bunch built in my back in my closet here that I hand built, you know? Yeah. Right. Yeah.

There's a hardware guy. I can build them. I always had a hardware problem with the software has always my issue drivers and whatnot.

So but I come I'm 15 years older. So almost 15 years old. So I had a little bit more of the hands hands on drivers not working so well versus plug and play and all the good stuff.

But yeah, yeah. Anyway, the jumper switches all the good stuff. Anyway.

All right. So video, you get to make these parody videos. And you're like, Oh, this is great.

Now, did you enjoy both being in front of the camera and behind at this time or not yet? No, it was still very awkward and shy in front of the camera. It wasn't. So that was your means to be behind the camera was you Yeah, you've made yourself the subject not because you wanted to be the subject, but because that was the way to be able to produce a movie because you're right.

Right. And it was fun on that side, too, especially for I'm sure class ones where it's like, yeah, like for the Spanish, like we didn't even do costumes, but we were doing start, you know, Star Wars, lightsaber fights, and that's fun. And then I did martial arts.

I did a judo and Aikido growing up. So actually, now that I remember, like my favorite part was doing the stunts, like in front of the camera, like doing rolls and flips and, you know, putting my body on the line for the shot that I very much enjoyed, you know, hurting myself for for the laugh. Okay, a little Michael Richards in you.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a fun. I mean, I would probably bring your affinity towards wrestling that I mean, did you grow up just kind of always like, you know, I mean, it's a single child.

It seems interesting. Like, I have a brother three years older. We're close, but we're not close.

It's one of those, you know, we, we grew up together and everything, but we're just different people. But we're totally fine with each other. We're just different.

Yeah. But being completely single or solo must be a very different experience. Is that how you were able to occupy yourself is to do those kinds of things like watch TV or, or? Yeah, I mean, definitely there.

I still still to this day have a very active inner world. You know, that that definitely keeps you occupied, especially when you have all the like what we were talking about the games of like, what can I get away with in life? Underneath the radar and you know, all those games that you occupy yourself with. But yeah, like I think baseball and pro wrestling and movies definitely fill that that side of myself.

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And you live in California? Yes, I was born in Colorado, but moved to California when I was really young. So baseball would have been, would have been, I guess, the Dodgers and Anaheim or who would have that have been in your baseball that you really. Yeah, it should have been the Dodgers.

But no, I was actually a big Atlanta Braves fan back when they had the three, you know, best pitchers. They have Maddox, Glavin and Smoltz. And that's because Maddox is, was my favorite pitcher because I was like him.

I couldn't throw that fast. But I could, I could get it in a spot and be accurate, right? Like that was his game was just being a mechanic. So I definitely fell in love with that.

So the Braves were kind of my team by proxy of who my favorite was. Very nice. Yeah.

And I don't know. It's kind of interesting because I grew up in Philadelphia. So I had a lot of sports stuff connected to that, of course.

But but I moved to Arizona. And it's funny because the Braves and the Cubs, I think, are the two teams because that's the only television channels they had, TBS and see, you know, CBN, which is the Chicago network or something, CWN or something. Yeah.

And those are the only two they had out here before they had professional sports. They're watching, you know, out of out of state teams. So obviously, Colorado would have that before the Rockies as well.

Right. So interesting. So baseball, wrestling.

I'm sorry. You used to watch baseball, too. I, I grew up with baseball.

I grew up with Harry Callas as a voice of sports. So he had that beautiful draw, but it's a picnic game. And I grew up playing sports.

I grew up playing baseball. Actually, I was a third baseman. I got a really bad car accident when I was 13.

And it kind of ended that. But I got more into hockey and football. I was always a hockey enthusiast because of, I guess, the East Coast, Philadelphia, you know, bleeding and hitting each other over the head with sticks sounds like a fun thing.

But that's how we did it. So we had a lot of like to your point, everything was sports, neighborhood sports. We play.

Oh, there's a basketball court. I like just we just need a backboard, you know, playing church or we just pull up the nets and play hockey or anything. Yeah.

Anything you play. Right. Yeah.

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Excellent. So wrestling. Tell me about your earliest memory of a wrestling event or something.

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Something you can call back on. Yeah. Well, wrestling was always the constant through thick and thin, high highs and lows.

It was it was it was there all. It was always there. And, you know, I went to event at the Anaheim Arrowhead Pond, went back when it was the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, a house show there.

I've been to a few WrestleMania's WrestleMania 21, which was in Hollywood Staples Center. I went to that live. Incredible.

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Um, but with with wrestling, what I started to really immerse myself in and why I have a deep passion for it is that the form of entertainment and sports that it blurs and blends in amazing ways that you I somewhere I have a book in me that, you know, I have some notes down, but like of of how pro wrestling taught me the meaning of life, because it's so blurs reality and fiction together to where you don't know what's real and what's unreal, that it's almost more real than real life when you're like when it's done so, so, so masterfully well. There's nothing else like it on the planet as far as I'm concerned when it's when it's done by two expert craftsmen of their artistry. And it just taught me so much, especially when I learn more of the behind the scenes, you know, language and inner workings and the behind the veil of like, how they communicate with each other, the just the fact that they're dancing with each other both make like the goal is to make each other look better through you looking bad or like it.

It's just the chemistry, the everything about it in the art and the science. It's just such a microcosm of life that you can learn so much from. I don't know.

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I don't know if a lot of people look at it as deep as I do, but it certainly gave me so much in becoming conscious and looking at my own artistry and the craft that I bring with my work and dancing with someone on a podcast like this, where we are battling in that sense of like taking each other to places and challenging each other. And so I've just learned so much from it. And it was just always this constant that even in the shittiest of, you know, parents getting divorced or just school draining the hell out of me, like it was always there for me.

Like and. Every Monday, every Friday. And then pay-per-views.

Yeah. Saturdays and pay-per-views. I remember Saturday morning cartoons and everything.

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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, in lay terms, it is a man's soap opera. That's a lay term. But to your point, it's way deeper than that.

I mean, to watch a craftsman just hone the duality, the duplicity of people from good to bad, from good guy to heal, whatever, and then back again and just watch the people just fall right into it. And some don't buy it. And if it's not done properly, it doesn't work.

Like, I don't know if you watch it currently. Do you watch it currently? OK, so let's use L.A. Night as a perfect example. OK.

All right. Randy Macho Man 2.0, whatever you want to call him, you can call him Eli's brother. Right.

Whatever. Yeah. Whatever you want to call.

I don't know. I mean, it's funny. The guy just took off and the pop happened and I can't explain it, but I watched it happen.

And I'm not I'm not frustrated that it happened. I'm so happy for him that is. I'm trying to understand how him not someone else, for example.

And this guy is just different. He somehow captures everything the way one should. He just captures your complete attention.

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Attention. Yeah. And remember, they brought him in with the Max DuPree thing and it was a complete and they brought him in like that.

And you could tell, right? You probably saw the same thing. You're like, what is this? What are they doing with him? Especially after seeing him on NXT, where he was more L.A. Night. Was who he was.

Right. And it's like, really? I mean, I've seen it happen where they try to play with these things. But I'm like, who had that creative decision? And those guys are extremely creative.

Vince McMahon is highly creative with his business. But it does make you wonder, like, where did they take this stab and where did they think that was going to work? Because the woman who left whatever is with a team, right? Alpha or whatever Alpha Academy. She's doing great on her own.

It's like it really works this way. And how that how they were able to pivot and actually make two very big successes out of one major failure, basically, is very interesting in less than a year, six months, a year. You know? Yeah.

Oh. Oh, so much to say there, like, please. Well, first off, he's you know, I know this is a cinema term, but like journeyman, like he built himself 20 years.

Was it 15 years or something prior to the WWE and NXT honing honing his thing? So that's definitely a part of like why it's overnight is because he has been putting that 10,000 hours into his craft. And people feel that like the experience, the expertise, the artistry that connects. That's what is the attention grabber.

And you mentioned Vince, and he's a huge inspiration for sure, because he is a mastermind. And it's so funny when when you look back on things like because you don't know, like, if that was a part of the master plan that now we're going to we're going to this is all part of it. We're going to do this other gimmick to let you be this other person so that fans demand more like you don't we don't know if that was the plan.

Like, do this. I got it coming, coming in, almost underwhelming them and then re re overwhelming. Oh, like that's he's a long term master.

He's a puppet master, right? Master where it's like, did that actually help him do the like, no, we want the one clamor for like, get that rise out of? No, we don't like this one that much. It's a good point. Like, so just to think on that level of the right, it is 40 chess.

It really is. It's like a it is 40 chess for sure. Yeah, but I agree.

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It wasn't it wasn't him. But like, maybe that was the point when you because I know I'm kind of stretching the you know, no, no, it's not. It's not the worst thing.

Or maybe they thought he was just going to be so good that he could push through that and and rise up three other stars that they will bring up along. I mean, there's a lot of different ways to go through. I'm sure there's a lot of a lot of that.

So, OK, so obviously you're into it even now. So to to if you had a dream match, let's just throw it out there. Who would be your two people like? And obviously, I would think you're the person who would love to watch them.

I hate to say manipulate the audience, but they mold and shape and curate the audience in this beautiful dance that they can with their words and they can just get you to do what or get you to finally or do whatever you can say. What are your thoughts on who that would be? We're talking like not retired people. Yeah, I mean, we can go from people we know, right? I mean, like I'll give you one.

I would say Ric Flair would have to be in the conversation as a talker just for that. I mean, if we're plucked from from that that crop, I was going to say the most realistic right now in terms of like holy shit sort of vibe, which they are. You know, I don't know if you saw Friday, but he came back, I think, because the actors strike the rock came back.

Yes. You know, the Roman Reigns versus the rock, I think is would be on epic proportions like because it's almost almost impossible for it. But it also is kind of possible.

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That is an excellent point. So in terms of like, I'm trying to get as realistic with the dream match of like their, you know, edge of he's I don't know if he has another. He probably has another match in him.

You could do one because they did. I think he did say on the Pat McAfee that it was they were going to do it last year at Mania, but it didn't didn't happen for whatever reason. So I don't know if they're teasing, but, you know, big picture.

So that's definitely the most star dream match, I think. Yeah. Well, because I think about some imposing characters over the years like Kane and Undertaker were imposing, but they weren't that they didn't work the mic like you could work a mic because they had, you know, the manager, like Paul, you know, Paulie would be the man or whatever.

It's or the, you know, the who's the guy, the guy who got the pale guy with the mustache and didn't wasn't Paulie crypt, right? Wasn't it with the curtain? Oh, man. Not Paul. No, no, no.

Not Paul Heyman, obviously. The other anyway. Regardless, they always had like some kind of manager in that way, but they were just imposing characters.

They never had the pop like a rock Steve Austin to that point. And it's kind of interesting to watch like an L.A. night kind of recapture that on the microphone because you don't hear that very often anymore. I try, but they don't.

For sure it is. It is throwback. So I think that's why it's catching on like crazy.

Yeah, man. So you were slightly introverted, but could make for you easily could blend in. Sounds like you could kind of guess how people felt and what they wanted.

And kind of blended in with life. And your personal interests, passions, whatever we get to, didn't really start to get to express themselves until you got to college. Is that what you were saying? It was spotty because I definitely did get very immersed in things like but not consistently down the rabbit hole for short periods of time in a lot of different subjects.

Yeah. Yeah. And the weird thing is, I don't know if I ever considered that to be my passions, but I definitely got immersed and taught myself new things when I got inspired to teach myself new things.

But the best way that I kind of consider it is the mentality, sadly, not really regretfully, but like was it was just a monorail to graduating college because that's all like that was what I had to do to appease everyone else. Just get there and then you can start and it'll happen. Right.

Yeah. That was that was kind of the mindset that I had. It wasn't.

Yeah. It's just the way it's just the way it was, where it was the destination bound and kind of a monorail. And don't look out because you just got to do it and then you can kind of explore.

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But, yeah, it was towards the end of college where I started personal development. I started seeing a therapist and just did started inner work. I can remember barely being able to sit still for five minutes to meditate because my mind was just so noisy and active and like couldn't even do it for five minutes.

But then working that muscle and getting better at it. And yeah, that's when I started to really explode myself. I would consider to really use the context of the name of this podcast, like.

I wouldn't consider I was not conscious until probably two thousand and eleven, ten, eleven, twelve. Like that range was when I was like exploded. OK, what do you mind giving me the age group just because I don't want to do the math? I'll be honest, I'm a little easy.

Yeah, like twenty twenty one, twenty two. OK, so right out of college. Yeah.

Yeah. So let's let's talk therapy if you're cool with that. OK, because therapy seems to be very important.

I don't want to say seems to be that is a ridiculous statement I just made there. It is very important. I've had it as well.

But twenty one. Did you have the means at that time because mental health wasn't the thing you probably would have had to have some funds to be able to speak to someone at that time if you didn't have insurance or something like that? How did you get to the thought of needing mental or needing the therapist or not needing is not correct, but feeling that something wasn't right and then the means to do so and the courage to do so for yourself? It's a good question. Yeah, I told you, man, I don't I don't I don't do things like that there.

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I actually saw someone. So I was eight years old when my parents got divorced and then they sent me to. I think it was it must have been a therapist to have someone to talk to and I guess just to make sure I was OK from an outside party.

So I had experience with it when I was younger in that sense of where I was sent. That sounded weird. No, I get it.

I wasn't sent the evaluation or whatever they have, whatever the heck they call it. Yeah. So I wasn't, you know, ignorant to to it.

I'm trying to remember. I think I was just kind of at the edge of of how negative I felt about myself. And I had a part time job through college at SpaceX, which I'm sure we'll talk about later.

So that kind of gave me the means to be able to do therapy. And then it was actually my dad's therapist. It was the same one that he was seeing at the time.

And so I don't know if it was a suggestion or an experiment just to see, you know, probably. I think at that phase it was probably around the idea of fixing myself until I learned that is not really the case that you're not. I really learned you're not really broken.

There's nothing to fix. So but that was prior to that realization. So it was probably familiar.

Yeah. It was probably around that like I'm going to fix myself kind of kind of thing. And you're totally right.

Like back then, back then. So it'd be 2008, 2009 from it sounds right. Is that correct? No, a little later than that.

You were eighty seven. You were born. Eighty eight.

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Eighty eight. OK, so that would be 2000. Yeah, that would be 2009, right? Twenty one.

(38:39 - 48:08)

Yeah. 2010, 2011. OK, 2010.

OK, I'm just trying to do the time because I'm trying to I'm I'm not matching it with with my progress. Mine was much delayed because I'm an earlier generation. But obviously, so I'm just kind of play it in how you know where you where you realized it, because speaking about these types of things for especially for men is big because we don't understand it and we're told not to.

So obviously we're getting more comfortable with it, but we're also getting the point where like we're victim or like victims of it. And that's the last thing we should be is we should just be vigilant of it, not victims of it. And you know, it's a whole other thing that we can talk about.

It's a nuance. But so twenty one. You what? What's rock bottom for you at twenty one that may that has you just is what your dad, the conversation with dad or the comfort that you felt with his therapist, for example, or I mean, I know I'm digging deep and I apologize, but I definitely I'm here to share.

So yeah, take me a second to just submerge in that like around the the guy, the guys of of fixing myself. It was everything. I don't I don't think I was at rock bottom in comparative sense to how low that could be for someone.

But it was more. Not rock bottom, but the edge of negativity, just the edge of how little I thought of myself and inabilities to express myself or put myself out there or. Create from my heart, it I think it came about as a as a guidance to have someone there while I was opening up to this new self-discovery and and.

It was nice to have that sounding board like a nonjudgmental zone. To share because I didn't have anyone else to talk to or I didn't think I had anyone else to talk to about the things that would come up. Uncomfortably in in in therapy that I it's why I don't consider it rock bottom, but I think it was just a disconnection from my own pain or pleasure in the first place.

If that's if that makes sense. Yeah, it's a good point. And the reason I ask it that way, I say rock bottom.

It's a more metaphorical because some people who go into AA need a motorcycle accident and they need to almost die to realize right that they've hit rock bottom, right? For me, I set my rock bottom at a very higher bar than I think most people would set their rock bottom. So when I realized it to me, my rock bottoms, I set them there like fixed. So if I hit that line, it's like all warning signs for me.

So I knew when I hit whatever I hit, I had to do something because it wasn't it wasn't going to work anymore for me. But once again, I set my sets higher or just I just set my own personal standard of rock bottom higher than someone who doesn't have their own personal self-control in that way. It sounds to me like you had done that for yourself.

You just didn't really put it in those terms. Right. Right.

You saw a trend away, losing grip, falling, whatever that term is, and had the means and was able to do this. So I want to touch really quickly on SpaceX. We're going to talk real quickly.

I listened to this podcast with this other gentleman that you had mentioned your father kind of got into SpaceX. Let's cover nepotism really quickly, because I want to do it. I know it sounds you sounded uncomfortable even having to kind of defend it because it's not doesn't need defense.

Let's let's put it that way. Yeah. Some of us are very lucky to know other people or to be in families where we have the ability to get into an industry.

Yes, I had that. I my parents, my mom had a catering business. My mom is my mom at work at home.

But at work, she was Rita. That's just how it worked. So I'd love for you to just touch on it, because I think I'm with you on this is like I call me privilege or whatever.

But my parents, I'm a first generation American. My parents came from war torn Germany. They're born in 1940 and 1944.

They met here. My parent, my parent, my mom and her family escaped East Germany. I didn't struggle.

I have no struggle. They struggled for me. I'm grateful for it.

But for me to not continue, that is it does not pay homage to them, first of all. And secondly, on the nepotism front, it's bad when it's incompetence, right? Let's just get let's not get ourselves. So I'd love for you to just just touch up on it, how you got into SpaceX.

And I, I understand that it you connections are connections. That's why they happen. But you still have to earn your position once you're there.

I can't even imagine what it would be like. Number 110, I think you mentioned, with someone of the caliber of the person running it kind of right there. So just give me that intro and all that.

And then we can just let that stuff go and move forward to where you went from there. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's a great question.

Because my dad was a like a senior mechanical designer. So from, I think, you know, 40, 50 years of experience in the business and self taught every like he he was, he didn't go to college. But everything that he did was self taught and his own, you know, intelligence and conceptual 3d ability without, you know, computer is incredibly talented guy.

So they were definitely, you know, startup energy around my tail end of high school, early college, where it was a summer, I think just out of high school, he was able to get my foot in the door, in terms of interaction with the CIO, the chief information officer. And, you know, beyond just like making the introduction, and, you know, finding out that he needed help, right? Like, he, for sure, he needed help. And it wasn't necessarily the help of a full time seasoned position.

It was for the grunt work, right? Like, the shit that he did, plug this router in, unplug that, get under this, plug this phone. I'm with you. Exactly.

So I was a gopher. Trust me, I was a gopher. I put I would have 13 hour days and dry and put 300 miles on my car running from whatever to whatever.

And it's like, how did I average 20 miles an hour, over a 13 hour period, literally stopping everywhere, dropping this off, picking this up. And it's like, you know, it's kind of interesting how you do that. You know? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So. So it was basically that conversation, he knew where I was coming from no experience, basically. But I could hang with him in conversations about technology.

And he felt my passion for it. And I think he also came from what's the way of the cliche, like School of Hard Knocks, right? Like, that sort of vibe, right? And so I guess he saw that potential in me and that I could hang with his intelligence and, you know, curious and self teaching and on the job training, kind of, I can hang with that. And so it was just the first opportunity, right? Like, I think that first summer, literally $8 an hour, just, you know, just to be there and do the little work that I was doing.

And then you prove yourself, right? Like, if you don't prove yourself, you're not gonna like get the opportunity or further it. I can't imagine you lasting very long there. If you don't, you either stick out one way or another.

Exactly. I'm assuming. Yeah.

And by the way, just to, I don't want to trump that in any way. But I went to school at a place called Aeronautical University and I have a pilot's degree. So I was going to be a flight instructor.

(48:08 - 50:09)

I was getting paid $8 an hour to fly people around Philadelphia sightseeing. And that's only the engine running. Only the engine running does not count all the prep work to check the engine, check the plane, all that stuff.

So I'm very familiar with the hard knocks in the beginning of how, how we start our lives. So, okay, so he saw something and you were able to have conversation. Did you have obviously a technical conversation? Did you ever have any casual or was that not even a thing? I can't, was that not even a thing? I mean, it seems like a fun person.

I'm still friends with him to this day. He's up in San Francisco. He's also a DJ too.

One of my favorite. I love his sets. But yeah, no, we went for sushi lunches and got to know each other.

And yeah, we have a friendship to this day. That's great. That's great to know.

So then you mentioned, obviously, I think I listened to the podcast. Cause like I said, I don't like to retash things. I want to find out new things.

I want to get to know you. That's the whole point is I love meeting people. I don't like knowing them as much, but I love meeting them.

That's bad, bad pun, I guess. But I think as a highly sensitive empath, I think you kind of understand what I mean. You kind of get a lot of information very quickly from people because the comfort and the understanding and you know how it is.

So you had that point of kind of that was that pinch point hitting that speed of sound where you either had to push through it and blow up or you have to step away. Right. At this point, you found out that was something that you should do is step away from that.

Is that sound about right? I mean, after are you talking about like after the few years that I was there? Yeah. After the few years that you were there, right. You grew to a growth point, right.

Cause I don't, I don't want to delve too much into, I mean, unless you'd like to share some stories about that, I'm happy to, I just don't want to bog down people with. No, no. At a certain point it became clear that it was not no longer a startup anymore.

(50:09 - 54:21)

Right. That's what it was. Yeah.

For all the wide variety of hats that I was wearing, they found specialists for each one. Cause it wasn't a startup anymore. Right.

They're well-funded and successful launches every, you know, whatever. But yeah, so it was at that point where it was like the timing was right for me to diverge and kind of find my own, find my own thing. It was perfect timing in that sense.

That's great. So there was a little kismet there. You could, I'm sure you had the opportunity to do something and stay within it and grow within it, but this just was the time to do something different.

Yeah. Yeah. The I, I, because this was kind of prior and like, right close to the personal development, I don't think I gave myself the allowance to see the possibility that I could make it a career.

If that's the way to put it. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's something here to say to the, I didn't, I didn't fully acknowledge in my own abilities that I was in someone else's dream job right out of high school. And in side by I paralleled college with a job that people would consider a dream job after college, I was able to get before like literally side by side with college.

I didn't really acknowledge what the heck was going on with that of what I would like. If I had my own voice, I probably wouldn't have gone to college if I didn't have to appease who I had to appease by just getting the degree. The degree mindset was how I was, that was, you know, it's probably not that much anymore, but like, I think you can relate how important that degree used to be.

We're not dissimilar you and I. Yeah. I don't think I've needed, no one's ever had like, I'm sorry, man. I, that's just, like I said, I, cause I, I can, I don't know if empathize is the right word, but I certainly understand it because I knew the college was a thing.

My parents, like I said, you understand the struggle. I'm going to college. There's nothing around it.

What I did was I chased a dream of aerospace that I thought was mine, love flying, but before every flight I wouldn't sleep. I'd be happy, anxious, nervous, sweating, like hoping I live in Arizona where there's nary a drop of rain and I would be praying that it would be canceled for the flight would be canceled. You know what I mean? I can't, couldn't explain that in me.

And what it was was like, I was just going through the motions and it turned out this was what I thought would be the most entertaining way to go through the motions of the college experience. Yeah. And the next thing, then it was this and I never excelled at that.

And I'm, the reason I'm asking you this is because it sounds like you pushed through things that I'm still trying to figure out 15 years down the road. And there's people in my position and there's people before you, they're trying to figure out what you seem to have figured out. So, and maybe you didn't, maybe, I mean, I'm sure you have, you certainly figured it out for you because you're a P you're able to express it and share it and be at peace with it.

But maybe there's that little bit, that one thing that you say that somebody is going to go, ah, boom. And yeah, that's what we'll get. That's what I'm hoping we're going to get through in this conversation.

(54:21 - 54:27)

Yeah. Yeah. I definitely want to like dive into what you're, what you're seeing there.

(54:28 - 56:31)

Uh, because the, the reason I'm like kind of feeling the, the, the generational thing here, uh, is like you see nowadays people are making bank with just social media stuff, uh, and, and YouTubes and podcasts and the creativity of how people can make a living, uh, sans career degree mindset is totally like, I was on the edge of this like cultural shift of society. You know, I'm a hybrid in the sense that I grew up without tech and the emergence of the internet and tech. I have both you as well.

Like I had an Atari 2600. So I know. And, and at the tail end of the degree, just get the degree and find the job mindset.

And, but I was rebelling through the whole thing, but doing it to please, but I was rebelling the whole way. And it's so mirrors exactly or parallels exactly my experience with it. The whole point that people go to college is to get a job at SpaceX, Tesla, you know, that's why you go to college.

But I had that job without college. I didn't need to go to college, but I didn't actually acknowledge that, uh, at the time because I was just in people pleaser, uh, just, you know, doing what you should, should, should do to be the good, uh, Yeah. And that's the thing you go from literally from college, which is that step by step by step by step.

It's very structured to a, to an extent you have to get these many credits to get this degree. And this degree has this many credits of this kind and whatever. And then you get to this job.

Now the job, yeah, you get to be a Jack of all trades, but it's still, it's your next job, which is really your first job. You don't know it's SpaceX. SpaceX isn't SpaceX yet.

(56:31 - 1:01:46)

Let me ask, let me ask, how many years did you totally work? Did you work in aggregate there? Would you say six? Uh, how many rockets crashed? Did you make it to an exit to a successful rocket launch where he's like, this is the last one. If this doesn't go, we're done. I was, uh, I was there for two prior failures.

And then I was actually, I, I had the responsibilities with the marketing team, media coordinator, uh, to do the video production. So I was, so are any of your videos or any early SpaceX videos, productions of yours that you want to promote? Okay. Feel free to promote them right now.

Tell me, tell us about where we're on YouTube. Uh, Falcon, uh, was it Falcon one high roller flight three. I think it was Falcon one flight three high roller on YouTube.

I edited that. That was one I did. I worked with Elon on that video.

It was the first successful launch and he wanted to make a music video. That's awesome. And, and, and I recall like some of those trials and tribulations.

So you're working there. You're highly sensitive. You go, let's go through the failures because you don't get to success without the failure.

You don't win without struggling. Struggle is life. And that's probably what the youngest generation is having a hard time understanding is it's not that much struggle.

Like there was obviously we've made it easier. It's great that we've made it easier, but there's a consequence to that, of course. So it's like one of these balanced things that we play.

So you walk into the room. What are you feeling before the launch? Just as a highly sensitive person, what, what, like, are your hair standing up on your, on the back of your head? Like, what are you feeling? Well, there's two, two sides here. Cause one is you're hoping to God that the tech doesn't fail on the production side.

Uh, cause it, we didn't have a lot of budget and video streaming was in its infancy back then. It, uh, it was, it's not as easy. It's crazy.

You didn't have an OnlyFans account yet. Yeah. It's so easy now to stream live, but back then it was not easy at all, especially if you didn't have a budget for, you know, professional grade equipment.

Um, and we were streaming video feeds from Kwajalein Island, which is like further than Hawaii off the coast, uh, getting video streams sent to us from there until we did Florida. Um, and then having, you know, to do production of hosts talking to scripts and what if this happens? What if that happens? So there's that side of the anxiety that's like, I hope this video switcher doesn't shit the bed, uh, right when the rocket goes up because then everyone's going to be pissed. Um, but that's, let's be honest.

That's a little internal, right? You're walking into the room. What, what's coming at you as you're feeling that, right? What's from the crowd, right? Cause you would have gathered for these launches, I would assume. Right? Yeah.

So yeah, they, they gathered and watched, um, in the floor, uh, yeah. Electric, electric. I mean, um, especially the ones that didn't fail, like the successes where, you know, it's woo, woo, woo all through, like, and then, you know, the one where the stage set didn't go correctly.

And there's like, ah, and then it's the failure, but then it does the success. Holy shit. The stage set, then it keeps going entry burn.

And, um, you, you start to see these things for the first time. Um, and, and just the scale of difficulty, uh, that, you know, this is not a government, you know, it up until then it was governments and countries launching rockets. Right.

People, I don't know if people really get that, that it was governments and countries were launching rockets. Yeah. And they were generally extensions of company.

Let's not get ourselves like the V let's be honest. The Warner Von Braun, the V2, it worked perfectly. It just landed on the wrong planet.

Right. I mean, it's, it's not a joke here that, that how we use the tech, right. Yes.

But yeah, an individual launch that that's just unbelievable. And I was in sixth grade when the challenger expired. I remember watching us cart the TV into the room and, uh, I didn't really know what was going on.

I was a kid, man. And it was, yeah, but space was always, it's just looking upward, right. Up and out.

So, yeah. And then you have like, I think the best way to really express what the power of vision, uh, and mission from Elon is just the simple thing of comparing you guys. The way rockets are up until now is you throw it away every single time.

(1:01:46 - 1:04:42)

And you kind of get that because of how complex and it's rocket science. And it's like, oh my God, I don't know how, how this works. And then, but he's side by sides.

He's like, do we throw away an airplane every time we fly it? And then it connects those two dots and you, and you're like, oh yeah, it should be reusable. Why is it not reusable? And then all the little things of how you make that happen and all the failures to get to that point. But it's like that sort of vision thing that connects that dot of like, wait, why aren't we landing rockets back on, on, it's hard, but like, why are we not? Um, and then going and solving those problems because you have the vision of, oh yeah, we don't, we don't throw away the airplanes every single time we fuel it up.

We turn some things and it goes again. Right. Right.

So it's interesting that, yeah, the vision. And so it's fun. It's fun.

It's funny you say that. Cause I, I watch those self-writing and when they land and the first thing comes to mind is gimbal, gimbal technology has to be gimbals. And then I just think Segway.

I'm like, it's gotta be, uh, this is where my brain goes. I go, was Elon thinking about the Segway? Cause the Segway has got the gimbal self-writing. It's like, how does he connect? Cause it is cultural.

There's gotta be a connect, but like, there's people who see those patterns in that visionary way that can see, well, we just made gimbals in our phones in this, you know, so we can do G you know, G rating and whatnot. How do we incorporate that in some it's I, to see that pattern recognition, then connect them. It's just, I think it's called the like first principles thinking too.

What? Yeah. Tell me about that. First principles thinking.

So it's something I've heard of it, but I don't want to sound ignorant. So please. And I, I definitely am not, uh, be an expert at explaining this, but from my understanding, first principles thinking basically is, uh, sort of approaching things from a blank sheet of paper, uh, getting down to the, like the essence of what the problem is at the, at the ground level, and then working up from there, getting to the, the base level of how something works or the wheel.

Yeah. And it is honest reinventing the wheel. And that's the thing is, I think you've probably had that a lot growing up as reinventing the wheel.

You'd be like, why dad, isn't it like X or why, why are we doing it this way? And not that. And you probably were one of those people. I remember one of my earliest, one of my early things was my dad always picked me up from work and I was, you know, I had one of those cards where I could work at 14 or whatever, washing dishes or whatever, you know, and I would sit in the back seat and there was nobody in the front seat, but I would, he would always pick me up.

(1:04:42 - 1:04:53)

I'd sit in the back seat. And like one day I just went, why am I sitting in the back seat? And he's like, uh, I don't know. And I'm like, well, I guess I'll sit in the front seat now.

(1:04:53 - 1:05:13)

And then I sat in the front seat from that on. And it wasn't like, I look at someone like all due respect to my brother, it's like, he probably rode the back seat until he probably drove himself. You know, it's like, that's just, it's just one of those things.

It wasn't that I was combative. It was just, I don't understand what this means. Why is it this way? Right.

(1:05:13 - 1:07:21)

So I find, I think that's a beautiful way to deconstruct things and start is almost reinventing the wheel and it can become inefficient, but you don't get to innovation without, without those inefficiencies, I would think. Yeah. Uh, yeah.

The, the two things that come up in response to that is because you, you had asked me if I ever kind of brought that up. Uh, I don't think vocally, uh, you know, wasn't vocalized, but I definitely saw a pattern kind of as a visionary, like of, I would be a heat sinking missile to bugs or the wall, the limitation of something that I would using, you know, final cut, uh, pro back then like version eight or whatever it was, and always finding the limitation or, man, this is slow as hell. I wish this was faster or bug crash.

Like always, whatever I was doing, I could find the edge or the limitation of like, well, it would be much better if it was designed like how it is today. Right. Right.

Um, so that was the visionary ales. There is like always seeking the edge of whatever I was doing and like, well, computers are very slow and like always being faster than computer. And like, you know, how can I break it? How can I break it? Yep.

Exactly. I am very familiar. I don't, I don't, it's funny.

Cause people, you know, once again, I wonder if this, I will ask you this, if I may, Oh, did you have a final point about that real quick or, uh, no, it was kind of an aside of like going along the lines of the first principle saying, well, if it comes up again, we can, Oh, please. No, please. Yeah.

I can almost buy it. The one podcast I listened to a way, I think this was in college or something taught me something. Uh, are you familiar with the trivium? This really blew my educational passion.

No, but as is it, I've not heard of it. No. Yeah.

(1:07:21 - 1:08:37)

It comes from the liberal arts education of, of like way, way, way, way, way, way back. Um, ain't a Greek or like it goes way back. Um, I, I paint with broad brushstrokes.

No, no, it's, we have to be conceptual here because I could probably keep up conceptually with almost anyone on this planet. I don't think I could get into the maths and the equations, but yet me conceptually and I, yeah, I'm about as open as one can grasp conceptually. So like I've expressed up until this point, like I really hated school.

Uh, it was, you know, elementary school. I had that passion for learning cause I wasn't in desk all day and I was free roaming. It was a Montessori school and then it just got drained.

I just hated, hated education and, and that system so much. But when I learned about the trivium, it like reignited my love for learning like curiosity and wonder and like pure learning. And what it is in terms of like first principles is it's split into three different things, grammar, logic, and rhetoric.

(1:08:37 - 1:09:02)

I was going to say, is it some kind of, is it some kind of check and balance on itself where you create the three concepts and as long as the three don't contradict each other, now you have a complete idea or something. I would think it's some sort of, yeah, it's like first you need to be on terms, like understand the terms that you're using when you're speaking with someone like let's use, you know what, that's perfect. Let's use that in today's world.

(1:09:04 - 1:09:37)

I don't want to get in the weeds with gender ideology. Oh, okay. Let's go.

Right. Let's If we don't have the starting definition, how can we possibly understand? I'll leave it at that, right? I don't want to, I don't want to get too deep, but that's a very simple one where it's, if I don't even understand the definition that you are trying to provide to me, if it doesn't have a lucid thought to it, I'm not saying it does or doesn't, I'm not arguing that. I'm saying for people who don't understand it, if it isn't, then we have already a logical error right there.

(1:09:37 - 1:10:31)

Okay. So that would be an example of that, would you say, is that correct? Yeah. Okay.

So what would be that other branch then of the three? So grammar and then logic, like you're saying, like connecting the words together with logic and then rhetoric is the ability to share the wisdom. You can only share the wisdom if you have the grammar and the logic. And so when I listened to this podcast, which like really exploded all the details of this and the liberal arts education that this was supplied for, it just, it gave me so much ability to find that love for learning again, because it was like the way that language worked, understanding the mechanics of language and meaning and wisdom.

(1:10:31 - 1:12:06)

And then you start to connect the dots more and yeah. That's great. So I'm trying to think of a different example for like the logic thing, where you see like a dissonance of logic.

Let's use COVID because we can use one for each, right? Where was the logic? Like you have the guy saying no masks and then saying masks, and then the data is no masks and the this, that, and the other data coming out. Once again, we're having a logic break. We're having a logic error and creating crazy fractures in our society.

So there's a logic error. And then the wisdom error is how, what, where is the bottleneck? Would you say that's tech sharing it and the suppression of something, some information over others or the, a global view of the WHO, for example, or the WEF or something. That really opens up the talk about rabbit holes of let's do it.

Yeah. I appreciate you, man. I told you, please.

Yeah. Like let's do this because I'm always looking for heated things like this. It's not, this isn't even heated.

This is exciting. What are we talking about? Heated. I'm excited.

Is that the pro That's a good thing. It's a good thing. Yeah, exactly.

I get it. I get it. Because you obviously seeing where I'm coming from and you obviously have an idea of things.

(1:12:06 - 1:20:05)

I am this, I came from beliefs. I came up from a very extremely conservative, work hard, sweat equity. That's what it was.

Like I said, my background wouldn't allow for anything other than that philosophy to be spread in our household. That's just what I grew up with. That's neither good nor bad, nor indifferent.

It just is. That's what I had to deal with. Everyone deals with their own.

I have, but I'll go quickly. I was pro death penalty, very pro war. I was bought into Iraq.

I had t-shirts that said, Hey Saddam, this scuds for you. I was in the Eagle scouts. Like I was so sold and manipulated and pulled into things in our eighties and the eighties were just, it was what we're doing now.

Just not exposed. Cause we didn't have social media. I mean, let's, it's just not exposed yet.

So we got told these narratives from very small groups of people telling us how it is. And now we're finding this beautiful expansion of that. But with that comes huge responsibilities too, but I'd rather have the responsibility of, of something being mistold versus being suppressed something that shouldn't have been.

Right. That's just my ideology. That's where I come from.

Now that said, I have softened on my hard rightness. I'm not like, I'm not combative. I'm really anti-war and I really try to think we have other solutions.

We should have resources. Now we should be pretty good. That said, I understand conflict happens.

We have different actors and evil actors out there in the world. So with all that said, that's where I'm coming from. But I would assume you already just picked up on that from my ridiculous rant.

So what are your thoughts on how the wisdom aspects not being, you know, shared properly, I guess. If we're kind of creating a starting point in more of the conspiracy level things where we're looking at government as a controlling mechanism of, of civilization and society, like that, that would be my first question, like as a finding terms with you is. Absolutely.

So yeah, let's do that. Let's start here. I'm going to be really simple with you because I don't, I'm a, you can understand I'm a pretty lucid individual.

This is my, you talked about trivium. Did Aristotle have anything to do with trivium or was that not part of his? Okay. If he did, this is perfect then because this is my philosophy.

It is the mark of a curious mind to entertain an idea without accepting it. Sure. How about that? So once again, we are seeing some exposures of things.

I don't want to get into specific conspiracies. You notice I haven't been like, I speak COVID only because it was just on, it's on the front news. We obviously have confusion among other people, other things out there.

I want to try to be broad. Cause I don't think it's worth getting into the weeds. Cause you and I probably aren't very like, I, I listen to political stuff, but I'm biased too, because what's the information I get.

Yeah. I'm going to come up with my information from my side. I'm curious, maybe on a broader census, let's talk visionary wise.

How would you share the wisdom? Let's do it that way. I don't, I don't want to make it bogged down into like, control bad government, you know, let's not do that. Cause this is not what this conversation is about anyway.

Yeah. You know, it's, it's about, it's about you and, and, and understanding how you view it. Yeah.

On that level, then I would probably communicate it more as a, as a massive shift in consciousness. The way I see how it all played out is this shift in consciousness on a, on a global, like humanity level, species level is, is not going to be without its challenges. And it's going to really direct us to what I would consider as like the big picture universal narrative in every, in every human mind.

And that is fear versus love. That is the rivalry of the universe from a human species duality perspective. And what I perceived during COVID and the way that all played out is it really had the, the stench of a last gasp heave, Hail Mary, of controlling people to, to, to be subservient to the fear of whatever that control is trying to keep you in.

Now, for a lot of other people that were kind of more conscious of that choice, it seemed like it was really putting that fear, love, fear, passion, fear, power, dynamic fear, freedom, dynamic kind of as close to our faces as possible, because when I really sat with the weight, no, I kind of am getting a no from my body about, about getting the vaccine. So what I got to do, and I spent, I'll let you finish. Yeah, please share.

Like it, I didn't rush to say no, but I was dragging my feet. Put on the fence, right? That's what you're saying. I was really conscious of feeling the dynamics and, and that the planet is undergoing the most massive shift in consciousness that's ever happened on this planet.

And this is like a massive test of you're either choosing enslavement or you're choosing freedom in every single moment. But this really brought it to the forefront of which one are you going to choose? Because I remember feeling the freedom to say, no, no, not, I'm going to drag my feet and see how this plays out. Because I'm not, I don't, I'm not going to listen to the fear because I was already kind of elevated on my conscious evolution to know the difference, to be sensitive to fear-driven, passion-driven or love-driven, right? And the more that I did, not necessarily fight, I just, I didn't voice, I didn't, I didn't get in the way.

I didn't, you know, I just, I watch, I like observing. And is that what it is? You're a Sigma, right? Is that what it is? What is that? Versus an alpha? It's tight. It's, we'll talk, we'll talk about that.

(1:20:05 - 1:20:15)

I'm not sure. It's, it's a positive thing. It's a good thing.

Anyway, please, I'm sorry. Yeah. It's just everything you're saying just brings so many thoughts over this, this last couple of years, last year for sure.

(1:20:15 - 1:20:21)

Yeah. Yeah. So the, the more I really.

(1:20:21 - 1:20:40)

You did not, but just didn't mention it basically is what you're saying. Okay. Yeah.

And I could feel the guilt and the shame and, but I was very conscious of, I don't think I need it. And you would have, so you did not, correct? I did not. I'm just telling you right now, you would not have had a good outcome.

(1:20:41 - 1:20:49)

Just telling you right now. Absolutely. 100%.

There's no doubt. Yeah. Trust, trust, trust that in me, whatever it's.

(1:20:50 - 1:23:10)

Trust me on that. Highly sensitive and understanding, you knew, no. And I did the same thing.

And to your point, highly sensitive. I walked into every situation, telling me I'm going to kill my grandmother or kill somebody if I don't do this. And I, I was, well, I am diabetic, but I'm now pre-diabetic numbers, but I was, I had some comorbidities and I said, well, let me see, what should I do? Should I work on me and get better or should I let an external force control what I can do for myself? So I just took vitamin D. I got, I lost some weight.

I got my diabetes under control. I got it twice. I hate to say, but I breezed through it.

I'm lucky. I probably got, I think I got Delta and Omicron, but I breezed through it. Never stopped.

My lifestyle lived in Arizona was outside. I masked everywhere because that's just what you do. I'm sure you probably did the same out of courtesy.

Like we're probably in that thing is courtesy is kind of a layer that we probably start at is let's just be courteous to each other. You're not going to get my respect yet, but let's start with courtesy. Cause I, and, and one of the things that where I'm getting with is like, we conflate courtesy and respect.

So like, I don't respect you. Therefore I don't need to be courteous to you anymore. It's like, well, no, you should be courteous specifically because you disrespect me.

And that is how we can live next to each other and really not like each other and move to tomorrow, you know? So, so it was one of those things. So for me, it was always, I questioned myself, the guilt, the shame I put myself through. And now in hindsight, I am looking at real data that tells a different story than the story we were told.

That's all it's, it's my Iraq war. It was, I'm glad I didn't get bamboozled this time. And I, I hate to say it, but those narratives tend to be, they rhyme.

They tend to be parallel or they tend to repeat, right? History doesn't repeat itself. Humans do. It certainly rhymes.

And we've seen this now. I'm one of those people, toothpastes out of the tube. It's really hard to get that back in that trust, right? So I'm happy to share where my quote unquote biases would be because they are biases, but they're not biases in belief.

They're biases in ideas, because I think beliefs are become concrete. And if I have a belief, if you attack the belief, you're attacking me. I would, I now take it personally.

(1:23:10 - 1:24:51)

Now I have to defend, like I mentioned the nepotism thing, right? It's like, no, it's, that was, it had a little nepotistic flair to it, but it wasn't nepotism to your extent. It's nuanced, right? So we can speak it once we know what it is. It's kind of like that.

That's how I see the world. So interesting. Did you didn't mention it? Did anyone find out? Did you have any repercussions or any social, how did you feel? Because you're highly sensitive.

How would you have felt in a lot? I would think in a lot of social situations in California, being in tech, being in, you know, highly educated mindset with a lot of people with degrees. And, you know, I, I am very crafty of staying away from those things. Right.

And in the same sense your whole life. And, and really because I'm, I'm more, you know, intro, I mean, I'm definitely in the middle, but like more introverted leaning, the lockdown wasn't that bad for me either. Cause it was closer to my lifestyle of like, I like quiet and I like, you know, I got to start working from home.

I'm not going to lie. I've been, I've been very lucky to do that because to your point though, it's funny. Cause you do mention introvert, but you mold with people.

You obviously have the social skills. I'm sure you work on a little bit, but you probably had them. Where I find, I don't know if we are similar in that way, but it's like, I prefer to be alone.

Give me solitude. Let me have the 42 conversations in my head with the 36 other people that are in there and let them work it out. And I'm good.

(1:24:53 - 1:25:09)

I, I've found myself to really enjoy that more and more to my detriment because I was a very much more social growing up. Like I was in a cover band for, for four or five years. So like you had to be social, you know, you had to get out there and really put yourself out there.

(1:25:09 - 1:28:48)

But how, how do you handle that for yourself? Like how would you say, is that what you prefer more solitude versus yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. Okay.

Yeah. And then obviously smaller groups versus larger. Yeah.

And it's, it's really strange too, but like I don't really have an urge to travel personally. It's not, I don't, I don't really look forward to remote viewing all of a sudden for like, if I have a business reason to travel, I'm all over. Like that's, that gives me the juice to be excited.

It gives you a purpose, right? It's like a purpose, but not for yourself. It's not your purpose. It's not your self purpose to work.

Yeah. But otherwise I have no reason to try, like no reason to leave. Like that's, that's just a little quirk about me, but yeah, that's cool.

I totally get that. And I, it actually makes me ask a question about your, the future of this and I'll have to remind, remember that. So let me put a pin in that.

So, but yeah, so traveling's it's interesting. Cause like for me, I work hard. You put me on a clock for an employer, you're going to get everything and you're not going to, you're going to get even ideas that I'm not, I don't need to make.

You're getting my ideas. You're getting feedback. You're getting whatever.

How can I make your business better? Cause I signed up a contract to work for you. That's how I did it. So I, I'm one of these sweat equity people.

You get me off the clock and my, not even passion. It's my momentum just completely fades. I want, I have the interest to do this.

For example, like podcasting has been something I, I really enjoy is understanding and I mean, sharing for sure, but I'd love to get a different view or how people think. I want to know how you think, because it's way more important than what you think. Cause if you get to how you think we could probably get to some compromise because we could probably find a way to work out a difference to a general agreement.

But how do I get motivated myself? It's, it's the craziest thing. I will kill myself for an employer. It's just kind of my upbringing.

It's just how we, you know, it's just the duty and the loyalty. And I've never broken that. I just am stuck.

For example, in once duty ends shut down mode for me, not self duty. Like I could totally, I, if I put half the work ethic in that job, right. That I'm doing versus my own, for example, but we know what we know what successes would come.

Right. Obviously you're, you're a proof of that in a way. Right.

So how, how do you keep from shutting down? Shutting down in what capacity? So just in the motivation sense, it's like, I just worked eight hours or 10 hours, whatever crushed it. I did what I needed to do this other thing I like to do. I know there are steps that need to happen for that to be, why am I not motivated? For example, to making those steps for myself when I'm more than happy, not, I have to say more than happy only because I'm not doing it differently.

I'm more than happy to, to give to another in that way. It's definitely jumped a couple of sharks by the way. I know we jumped a couple, couple of concepts, but we'll get back to that.

All good. All good. I love the dance.

(1:28:48 - 1:29:05)

Um, so it's definitely something cause you know, I've dealt with procrastination, perfectionism, all things that kind of make you avoid shit. I resemble all those remarks. Yeah.

(1:29:06 - 1:30:44)

Yeah. But the more I really apply the, that wisdom and that transformation of the transformation from being fear driven to passion driven and valuing freedom over survival. It has really played itself out so beautifully and in a lot of learning, of course, too, because the metaphor that I love to use is, is fuel passion as a fuel, as a, as a battery and a fuel because when that self-discovery or conscious evolution transformation that you're, you're doing with yourself or the self-help or what personal development, self-improvement from that big picture lens.

It's, it's really about looking at the purity of this fuel or impurity of this fuel and cleaning out the particulates of fear that are dragging its performance. And, and the more that you're actually focused on that rather than the external getting something done or getting to a finish line destination bound, but you're more inner game, inner world cleaning. It takes care of itself and motivation.

(1:30:46 - 1:34:37)

Isn't that much of an issue? It's, it's, it becomes more about structure and, or lack thereof and finding the help or, or AI assistance that you need to, okay, it's, if, if I put 30 minutes on the calendar for this, then I'll look at it differently because, oh, it's a structure, something to sink into for a set amount of time. I've got my bounds and I can immerse, right? It's, it's, you're, you're more understanding how you work rather than trying to find motivation all the time. The passion takes care of itself.

It's more about how you want to play with the flow and, and putting rocks in the river so that it flows in the particular way that you want to, to, to go with it. And you're creating much less resistance that way against yourself. That's a beautiful way to say it in that way.

Cause it kind of clicked just the way you were talking about. Cause you're talking about, I'm going through my life, right? Not to personalize it, but one's going through their life through the same motions that got through college. They got you through, you know, got you to the next thing to your point.

You've now usurped that next step by step weird way. You just made it a structure, but with the passion. Yes.

So let's get, let's get the passion, but let's step, let's step out of space X. You you're working on some therapy things. I'd love for you to share some epiphanies you realized in some therapy things. If you can, if you're happy to share that, you think a couple words of wisdom to people would go, Oh, that that's like a nice little, you know, I'm a big picture, big picture thinkers.

So my time succumb with that brush. No, I love it. And this is the point is watching this.

I'm feeling it all kind of unfold as you're doing it. So it's an interesting process. Yeah.

The best like synthesis or synopsis, I don't know what the difference is that I can communicate is the things that you think are negative are not hard coded that way. You have the power of perception at your wielding where you can flip a polarity just by seeing a meaning on something. And when I learned that that anything can flip just by understanding the mechanics of perception and meaning and opening your mind to other possibilities, the things that you're confined by or weighed down by depressed by can be flipped into gifts, into opportunities.

That really set me on a path to reframe a lot of the preconceptions and confinements of limited beliefs, as you said, like the things that felt so concrete can be lifted and spiraled in a different way. Very well said. That's a perfect piece.

Perspective, basically. Yeah. Viewpoint.

(1:34:37 - 1:36:45)

Like, how else can I use a hammer? It doesn't always have to hit a nail. I mean, that's really what or what can we make out of this hammer that would not need to be hitting a nail all the time, you know, kind of thing. Yeah, it's interesting.

So, that's beautiful. So you gain some perspective you step away from SpaceX and did you go right into your own or did you have a couple other things in between that? And the next thing is Passion Company or what's the next? Oh, I didn't know that. No, that's imagine.

Yeah, you're gonna have to give me through because I know you had a number of them on the way. So, right. Walk me through them.

Yeah. So, I was, you know, because I wasn't full on the accelerator, like I used to be, I actually took the time to be like, oh, I have an opportunity here to like not go straight to the next thing. And I gave myself that space, which was very special and fun in that sense of really taking that time and space to really follow my own excitement and not just do something because I should do it because it's the right thing because you need to have a job.

But if you don't have a job, you're a failure, you know, whatever the those voices were saying of the fear, if you don't do this, if you don't, I was disregarding that and being like, no, I can stay here and not do anything for a little bit. And I started to get into my own writing and journaling and stream of consciousness and really putting pen to mind to paper and just pouring it out. And with the same message of perspective really came the first vision of a concept to share through art and entertainment.

(1:36:45 - 1:37:24)

Um, but at the time I didn't, I didn't consider myself a creative art artist at the time. There was still some self-worth issues on the ability to acknowledge that, that I was an imaginative and creative individual. But, you know, compared to... You will never shake the imposter syndrome.

I can promise you that. Yeah, exactly. I have it in throes, like every single one of my personalities has it.

(1:37:25 - 1:37:35)

So, yeah. Yeah. I mean, especially when you're like comparing yourself to an actual artist that can draw amazing things out of nowhere, you're like, oh, I can't do that.

(1:37:36 - 1:38:54)

I just love when I'm, when I understand every concept and I feel personally, like I can't do any of them, you know, it's the same type of thing. It's like, how did that person get to where they got? It's really, it's not out of envy by any means. It's like how, what, how, what, you know? So it's one of those things.

Yeah. So you started carving this piece, um, of how to make it, how to start some kind of entertainment art based. There was a calling of, wow, if I could flip this thing that I thought was so negative about myself to something that was actually a power, dare I say a superpower.

Well, that's a message that some people, like a lot of people need to hear, uh, but not just to teach them that it should be through something that is conveying it in a, in a cool way, a Kubrick way. Um, and so, but it was just a concept at that point, but I didn't know how to do anything with it. Uh, and then with the acting that I was doing at that time, you were, you had asked me about that before I was doing a college student film shoot, uh, where I was, uh, playing some sort of role.

(1:38:54 - 1:39:33)

And I met a writer, Leon Conliff, uh, on set, he was, he was doing some, uh, uh, backstage stuff or I mean behind the camera. Um, and he, his gift was like world building, uh, and he's a DND, uh, Dungeons and Dragons, uh, master, right. So I played it growing up, man.

I've got the hard books and everything's still in my closet. I'm not kidding. Yeah.

Choose your own adventure books. I've got them all. Were you a game master? Uh, I guess loosely I, I played it with my friends.

(1:39:33 - 1:39:42)

We probably met, we made our own rules. Come on. Like, like I could follow like rules.

I could never read an instruction manual. Are you kidding? I had to play in my head. I couldn't play on them.

(1:39:43 - 1:39:47)

I couldn't play in them. Yeah. He was deep on it, you know, coming up with his own story.

(1:39:47 - 1:43:35)

Yeah. Oh yeah. I drew, I drew mazes on graph paper.

I had, you know, legible graph paper all the time. I carry that with me more than I carried a college rule notebook with me. It's a lot of fun.

It's a lot of fun. Oh, it's totally. Yeah.

But, uh, so, but I started to share my concept with him to which it, you know, explodes into a world in his brain of like, we got a story here, we got characters, we got this really cool thing. And started jiving on that chemistry. Then we found a illustrator and then my best friend came on and, uh, we started a little comic book company where it was the first thing that I invested my own money into as a, coming from being indecisive and overthinking and never feeling confident to pull the trigger or take the leap on, on one of my ideas.

I had many ideas, but not, I, I couldn't focus. I couldn't ADHD, like all this stuff that is just scattering all like both of our current mindsets at this moment. Yes, this, this actually, this was manic, correct.

I looked it up. Is that what it's called? Mania. I'm going to call it mania.

Correct. Okay. Yeah.

To, to, to quote, uh, I want to give you the credit. You didn't mention it. So let's mention it.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so you wrote a comic book, you started it like they started kind of a dark horse comics or just kind of its own little comic book brand.

Exactly. One, one central book, or did you have two or three, like, did you have one piece you started with one and then just broke off of that or branched off of that or. Yeah, it was weird.

Cause we did the universe building, uh, all, everything behind it. Um, we had plans to do the first six as our first volume, but we only got to three. Uh, and which this is your first venture outside of this.

Is that correct? Is this your first solo venture? Yep. You made three, you made three pieces of content for humans to touch, put their hands on, look through experience. Okay.

That's content. I don't know another way to say it. Right.

You can let's, you know, people don't make some people make nothing. So like, that's an, that's an amazing feat. Did that discourage you because you set it on six or that encourage you that you could step forward and do something? I'm sure you felt a little of both.

So let's go through the proportionality of it and see how that you use that to drive you to your next thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I, because I've so, uh, open-minded, I can see all the, all the different versions, perception on that. Like one end you see the fail entrepreneurial for the moment. I'm thinking, I guess when coming out of it is what I'm thinking more immediacy because that, then that mindset would then kind of encourage your next move or your next thought.

Right. Not how you're reflecting on it, but like more how you felt in the moment. I think it was more, it felt like a, if I didn't allow the negativity to get in, it felt more like a bookmark.

It felt more like, okay, we're going to put it on the shelf for a bit and we're going to revisit it at another time because of how much love we put into the foundation of it. So you saw it as more of a, Hey, we're going to table this project. We're going to pursue another one.

And we're going to revisit this project. Yeah. Yeah.

Excellent. How long ago was that? This was 13, 14, 15, uh, years there, uh, 2013, 14, 15, 16. Yeah.

(1:43:35 - 1:43:49)

Has it come up to revisit it all with your friends or anyone? Uh, not yet, not yet, but, uh, Smile tells me there's something on the, something in your brain about it. There's so much there. And I'm so passionate about the concept.

(1:43:49 - 1:44:54)

I can tell you just light up. Yeah. Because, well, one thing it was talk, talk about visionary ales, two things.

One is this was prior to Marvel explosion, uh, and this is prior to this would I would guess. Right. So McFarland's just coming out.

I mean, I could get into comics because comics was also another stupid geeky thing of mine, but not stupid. That wasn't stupid. It was awesome as a kid, but, um, yeah, I was into all that stuff.

Like I have the first up, you know, first Wolverine from, you know, the eighties, not the original original, but you know, from the first in the, I think 87, when they re-released it, re-released it before. So I'm once again, I'm lucky I come really born 74. So star Wars would have been really my really child.

I mean, empire would have been at seven probably. So I would have been really into it right then. And then just took off in space and comics and all that.

(1:44:54 - 1:50:36)

You get me anything that's not physically here or gets me with something that's away from me for some reason. And I'm, I'm all in cause it's outside of me. I, cause that's what I strive to understand is what I, what I'm not.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, so the, I mean, just watching you light up, just mentioning it just tells me everything you need to know about it. Have you, you've made some, have you ever flipped through them again? Just in the style for nostalgia's sake, like pulled it out of a box and not very recently. Uh, but, uh, you know, it's in the closet, definitely in the closet.

You'll have to take a look at something to tell me. You should take a look at it. I'll send you some.

I'll say, yeah, I'd love to see it. Yeah. I'd love to see it.

That'd be great. Thank you. Yeah.

I, I, I think once I have the marketing bandwidth and, and some bandwidth open, there's definitely a revival that needs to take place. Cause the, the other, like ahead of our top head of my time sort of vibe here is that we're very close, but it is weird because of the technology. It kind of halved all the generations.

In my opinion, it's almost like every five years versus 10 or 20 is now a generational shift. I mean, it's pretty crazy. It's speeding up.

It's speeding up like crazy. Uh, it was back then because there's a huge mission behind this comic, uh, of mental health empowerment that I needed to kind of be really all in on it. Um, and that not just to be entertainment to be, but to have something, uh, you know, mindful behind it.

I saw that and it made me, it piqued my interest because it approaches it from a chasing Amy serious point of view versus the generic, like, hi, I'm a superpower. I feel different, but how do I, Oh, I'm still super proud, you know, superhero or whatever. So I, I'm curious about that.

The way the name mania and, and the mental health aspect, do you care to delve in how you came up with that concept of the name and the. Yeah, it, it came off from the, what I was mentioning with your question about the therapy takeaway was the, the whole psychological mechanic underlying our universe and, and the, all the attention to detail that we put into not going magic or fantasy with it. Uh, but logic, uh, logic and emotion coming together, uh, came about with the attention that we put into the, the psychological reasons in which these superpowers arise in our universe.

And with that, if you kind of look at the layers and, you know, the Stanley Kubrick kind of mentality of, of the cinema is there's a lot that can be transmitted to people in terms of mental health empowerment, uh, that we got some really cool feedback on. But, um, if you look at back then, it wasn't a conversation. It was not the conversation that it is today, but it, like, that's what we felt it needed to happen because we saw where it needed to go, of course.

Right. Um, but it, that really was a trailblazing thing, uh, in terms of that. That's the thing.

It sounds absolutely does because of the, what the contact matter and everything. So I'm very looking forward to that. So thank you.

That's awesome. So you table this, yes, you still release three, three of the six. That's pretty impressive.

How many prints of each hundred, 200? I don't, I don't know. I don't know how it works with, uh, yeah, there's a few hundred. Yeah.

We've got a box of each. Yeah. Something like that.

Awesome. Yeah. And like I said, got to speak at Comic-Con too.

That was pretty epic, which was the San Diego one or yep. Oh, okay. That would, that would have sealed it.

What year was, wait, what year was that? Oh, I don't recall that off the top of my head. It's probably the same 16 or something. Okay.

So it was a little later. Okay. Yeah.

I was at, I was in San Diego during the big Bay bust. I, uh, the, the fireworks on July 4th where they all went off at the same time by accident. Oh yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I, I, uh, yeah, it was 2012.

Okay. It was actually the 10 year anniversary of last year. Yeah.

So I went down there with my girlfriend and it was like early open table days. People had not known what this thing was. I'm like, I heard of this thing.

Let me check it. We ended up getting front row seats at like Sally's on the waterfront, which is right by this pier. And right off is one of the barges park there.

And my girlfriend's like, Oh, I've never seen fireworks like this set up before. And they had these four barges choreographed to music and they were all going to go all of a sudden, five minutes before everything goes off. And I just put my hand in my hand.

She's like, Oh my gosh, this is amazing. I'm like, no, no, no, no. It all, it's all, that's all of it.

Something happened. And you could end the day at just all these people spent just exorbitant amounts of money, just going to this episode thing. And it just turned out to be a little bit of a blunder.

But I remember walking down the street, seeing Comic-Con was about usually two weeks after that mid July, something like that. Yeah. July.

So that's what, that's what triggers. That's how I think I trigger with memories and yeah, things like that. So tell me about Comic-Con because now that I heard this, I did not know this.

And once again, every answer you have is just 15 more questions, Jeremy. So, so how you, okay. How did you get asked? How was that experience? And then tell me about it.

(1:50:37 - 1:51:00)

Kind of add things if you can, if you can recall these things, cause yeah, fun stuff. No, it was one of the people he was sort of like an advisor for us. He he had a contact in the San Diego Comic-Con forgot what her job title was.

(1:51:01 - 1:53:17)

I was something with the panels, I think. And he was able to facilitate that they were doing or wanted to do a panel about mental health and comics. And then kind of pitched me as a, as a good panelist for that.

And yeah, it was, it was, it was fun. The, I definitely was feeling more confident by then. And it was really cool to, to kind of be in that, in that spotlight with, with that kind of, you know, panel in front of a pretty big audience, right? Certainly helps the ego.

And it's certainly something you have to conquer. Crowds are super intimidating. And if you don't, if you weren't really a speaker prior to that, getting thrust into that position can be pretty daunting.

Do you recall anyone you might've been on the panel with that, that are currently in any mental health or anything else, anyone else like that? I do not recall one of them, Dave Elliott. He he's a, he's a seasoned veteran of, of comics. Very cool.

Very cool. So, okay. So you got to do Comic-Con and you table this and now your next project, what, what pings in your mind to start your next project? What is that? And how does that come about? Yeah.

So there was a few kind of dabblings in like life coaching, transformational coaching, kind of wanting to work with other people in that vein of like support. And I couldn't, it was a lot of experimenting with like what to call it. What am I doing? Like, what do I do? How do I explain it? Like there was a lot of experimental kind of grounds there.

(1:53:20 - 1:58:37)

And doing some courses, having course groups, group coaching, really just trying a bunch of things and seeing what fit, what didn't fit during that time. But all through when I started the journaling and writing, there was something forming that was bigger than me. For sure, bigger than me, but also bigger than I could fathom or comprehend.

But it was all starting to form on the paper in what I would consider like a soul's work is the best way that I can kind of capture the scale and scope of its connection to me. It is my soul's work. I don't, I couldn't explain it like that back then, but it, you know, not up to me is kind of the, you know, it not up to me.

I know what you mean. Yeah. I've had a couple not up to me moments I'll share, but go ahead.

Yeah. Yeah. It's funny because it's just, yeah.

Magnetized. So that started that, you know, we're talking since 2012, this stuff has been laying in day books, I call them pages upon pages just because I would love going to a coffee shop and just writing, having a coffee and just letting it go like daydreaming and then pouring it on the page. And this stuff started to flow in and soul's work.

And this is what I'm calling imagination technology now because it's definitely evolved with me in understanding and communication. The best way that I can really, I guess, spark someone's excitement on this is to actually go back to where we started with, which was being aware that I share a birthday with Albert Einstein ever since elementary school. I knew that when I picked somehow, somehow talk about, right.

Picked to do a biography on somehow. Right. Yeah.

And it's just really quickly to jump in really quickly is, is the funny part is we talk about, I thought about that for you. And my equate is the, uh, James Dean died on my birthday. Oh, he crashed, he crashed the Porsche on my birthday.

So it's like, it's funny how yours is the birth of Albert Effing Einstein. And my perception is the death of a rebel. It's like, once again, it's not mine isn't equated to a birth.

Right. And we'll get to perception because once again, this is old school generation thrust into a world that was churning over the last four or five decades. Right.

But please tell me you, so kismet here's your kismet. You're told to do it. You're told to do a book report.

Tell me about this. Biography. And, you know, you go to that school library where, you know, it's all on the shelf and you're saying, go, go pick one.

Right. They send you off into it. And for some calling kismet reason, there was the Albert Einstein biography, and then you dive in and you're doing your homework and, oh, he was born on March 14th.

That's my birthday too. And ever since then, I think there's like a soul connection because he took his work to the edges of science and mathematics and quantum mechanics. Right.

We can talk quantum too. Yeah, please. Yeah.

I'm looking, I'm looking, we're not done yet, man. We're not done. Yeah.

And, and revolutionized all, all those fields and, and change the paradigm on how humans see time and space together. Over train schedules. Right.

The, the train speed of light, light beam. Working as a patent clerk. All these things.

Yep. And so we are like, I think any, any great artists will say standing on the shoulders of giants or scientists, right? Like science artists, whatever. So that's, that's how I look at it is I'm standing on his shoulders and taking the imagination to the next evolution and, and taking his work and going a little bit further, not necessarily in the bounds of, not in this, not in the field, not in the concept.

(1:58:38 - 1:59:01)

Yeah. I get it. Yeah.

But in the, in the, it's hard to quantify that though. That's the problem. And, and it's not, not disrespect.

It's hard to quantify when it's not in a field. Yeah. When it's conceptual.

Yeah. If that makes sense. It's really hard to quantify that because what happens is how do you measure, how do you measure progress? I mean, it's much more challenging than on a piece of paper where you can actually write it down and have an outcome.

(1:59:01 - 2:00:51)

Yeah. So just to, to, to share that I had, I did Stephen Hawking's brief history of time for my ninth grade book report. So my head almost exploded right at that moment.

So, but okay. So you, so Einstein's the inspiration. You've always been inspired by Einstein, obviously, but what was the inspiration that got you out of the click track, you know, the train tracks, the set path of college job, blah, blah, blah, to how did you apply the passion of Einstein to the video biography or to your current machinations of your journaling? What, what, what pages on the journal kept popping out? Like those types of questions are the things I'd love to ask you.

The best way to probably explain it is mechanics. I really am curious about understanding the mechanics of things. And so the direction of this writing would be towards inner world concepts, tools, thoughts, to understanding the mechanics of, of the things that we don't take the time to actually ask questions about.

(2:00:51 - 2:01:13)

You know, I shouldn't say never. It's more like we were taught like the, the rock bottom thing that you're talking about. It's like, sometimes we need that near death experience to finally ask the question, what is the purpose of life? Right? For sure.

(2:01:13 - 2:02:48)

Yeah. I didn't want to wait that long. I was asking these big questions of like, well, people have all these deathbed realizations on, on the deathbed, but what happens if I have them earlier? Like, shouldn't that be the goal is to have all the, all the important realizations earlier so that you're not having to realize it when it's the deathbed.

Right. So there, there was that kind of, you know. And, and, and let's be honest, we're in the United States in the 2000 aughts or the aughts, right? Like we have opportunity to try it and maybe not make it and still get on with our life.

If we don't, not everybody globally has that beautiful opportunity at times. Right. And, and this is not, it's not about spreading wealth or anything.

It's just, this is the reality of the world, right. Is that some people are limited genetically. I, you know, IQ is a thing.

It's not the thing, but it is a clear marker of the capacity to understand concepts or to, and it's not, that is not critical of people whose number is lower because I guarantee that person has a quality or skill that I, that other people with a higher number in that department don't possess. Right. So it's, it is finding that, but sometimes with limited genetics, it does make it challenging to find the limitless potential.

(2:02:50 - 2:03:25)

And if you can't even conceptualize that as a thing, right, how can you possibly get to that? And I probably jumped a couple steps there, but it just popped in my head in that way. And this isn't, once again, this isn't to criticize, this is how things are. So how does one, you and I probably had a little more means than others.

I would like to think we probably did. This is how it was. I know what my mom went through to get me here.

So thank goodness that I'm here. Now all we can do is hopefully do what we can to help someone else or contribute back. Right.

(2:03:26 - 2:09:47)

So how does one who's possibly limited to understand get to follow that? Or is that maybe a luxury of not like, this is how I've always seen it. I've always seen very, let's use IQ as a number. Let's just use IQ.

It's just stupid. It's the dumbest straight up marker, but some with a very high IQ and some with a very, very low IQ is either super happy or super angry because really they either got it figured out on the, on the top end, or like me, don't have it figured out and don't understand why, right. Whatever the sticking point is, or you've got people who are happy because they don't know any better or angry because they think they know everything and really don't know anything.

Right. Like these are the, these are the extremes in which we live. How do we navigate? Obviously the top end is the easy part, therapy.

That's easy. The bottom end, the bottom, sorry, the other end of the spectrum. That is not a bottom end because I think that people, I know very creative people who can't spell a word.

Okay. That's okay. Cause I've seen what they've done on a, on a canvas.

I've seen how they touch a heart. You know what I mean? Like we can, we can go through the, the joy in certain people's faces that you would think should be suffering. And the Jew, and you're like, why am I, how do I feel this? So they don't, it's not even experienced as a suffering.

You know what I mean? So, so how, how do we navigate those pieces on the, on the, the end where it's more struggling to grasp your concept to improve or to find the passion? I probably asking it wrong, but I'm, I'm trying to get there. I'd like to think our let's use a Maslow's hierarchy. We, you and I, we've got our house, we've got our clothes, we've got our food, got it.

Some healthy relationships probably grew up pretty okay. Not hurting. No, one's good, but not hurting or nothing's perfect, but no, not hurting.

Right. It does afford us a little more luxury to expand our ideas, to reach for something that is outside of reach. When someone who's reach outside the reach is something we already have.

Yeah. For example, not for granted, but something that happened right for us that we didn't have that extra stepping stone. I'm asking only because I want, I love for everyone to try to get better.

And I don't, I know it can be, it can, everyone can improve. It's just how, how much can we get out of everyone? Right. Like in that way.

And I want to do it in a positive way. I don't want to do it in a, you know, mandate-y, fascist, you know, authoritative way. It's, I'm wondering how we can all lift each other up, I guess.

Yeah. In my own way, it's the thought stream that you're serving up here, of course, in my own way, like, but is a core driver of my soul's work. Because the soul's work is not about me.

And it's not for me specifically. The whole, I think, reason that there is a soul's work is because it's for humanity. It's for the planet.

It's for the universe. So I've probably given a lot of thought to what you're serving up in terms of the solutions that I want to vision, or the solutions that I am envisioning, or see in the vision. Especially seeing, learning from the pitfalls of what doesn't work, what sort of works, therapy works.

But is it the most efficient? Is it the fastest? Does it need to be? Like, there's a lot of big questions. Like, I was asking myself all the whole world that you're painting here with that, with the, I feel the question that you're getting at. I think you understand it.

It's hard to conceptualize even my question. But I think you're understanding what I'm asking. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you don't want to make too many assumptions. And you want to honor, like, the logic and understanding that Maslow's hierarchy of needs has some very good logic to it.

Some. And it does have flaws. I want to be clear.

I'm very familiar with it, with its flaws, to its extent. And things are meant to be challenged, especially the society. What we have at our disposal now is totally different in terms of artificial intelligence is coming on board here.

We're approaching a new level of abundance that the species has never known before, where this idea of survival can truly be prodded and tested in a way. And I want to be very sensitive to what you're saying in terms of the means. And I want to be clear that it's not, this isn't victimhood.

This isn't out of, this isn't out of poor anyone. This is welcome to humanity. If you are a soul, put into a body.

I'm just going to, let's extrapolate. Let's talk soul. Soul goes into body.

Body's born somewhere. We'll get into the soul stuff in a second. But please finish your point.

I don't want to get too far because I'm about to go. Oh yeah, we can go. Yeah.

(2:09:51 - 2:14:10)

So for the last three to four years, I would consider that I was in R&D with my soul's work, with imagination technology, trying to figure out the puzzle of what it is, how to communicate the value of it, how to deliver it, and R&Ding all these different ways of doing it. And that has led to the passion company that we have today. Because the answer, not the answer, the solution that I am visioning with imagination technology, which is, man, I have, the gentle way would be to say it's a complement, complementary, but on the non-gentle way, I could say it's a subversion of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Okay. It really, truly challenged our conscious evolutionary abilities and experimentation of what that means when you're putting yourself in the pilot seat of evolution and it's not an external force of nature happening to you. So, I say this paralleling the gentle and un-gentle.

I'm 100% on board. I'm going to explain, let me steelman you in a second, but go ahead and finish your concept, but I'll help steelman your argument. Yes, please.

So, the way that we're expressing this product, this intellectual property, is looking at it in the terms of old evolution has gotten us very far. It has gotten us to this point. It has helped us survive.

It has helped us know if there's a tiger around the corner ready to kill us. It has given us a lot of anxiety and stress because we're able to foresight and project all these possibilities. And because for yourselves.

Exactly. But it is old tech. It is old and antiquated and we're bottlenecked.

And what we're doing is we're calling that the old operating system natural selection or survival of the fittest. We're putting that in the container. Let's steelman it.

Maslow's would be working from scarcity and resource-based and you're working from abundance. Is that basically the lay way to explain that? Yeah. Excellent.

Once again, German background, like my dad's a hoarder because he literally had to hoard everything to survive. It's like I know my cultural background and where that affects me in my direct way. Some things I can absolutely walk away from, shake.

Some things I just have this anchor to some old ideologies. And it's cultural something that we're all trying to shake. That comes through understanding ourselves better.

So, let's go to soul. We'll go right into it because this is where it gets interesting. I'm going to ask a weird question, but did you have any physically traumatic experiences, injuries, growing up, any near death accidents, anything? So, you lived your life.

Therapy. Where did the soul part come in? Because it sounds to me like your soul would have been, I wouldn't say struggling, but your soul was yearning to be freed or expressed or whatever. And your corporeal self held it in check by your, you know, your cultural, your parents upbringing and this and that and the other and the way your brain chemistry works and how you interacted with children and all that.

(2:14:10 - 2:15:47)

Yeah. What was your, what was that moment, I guess, of the soul and the, I hate to say epiphany, but yeah, that connection. So, when I go back to, I was raised culturally Jewish and kind of forced to go to Hebrew school and have a bar mitzvah, but I had no.

I went to many of those on my day. Oh yeah. They were every Saturday, every Saturday night.

Yeah. East Coast. I know.

Yeah, absolutely. Um, but I had no emotional connection to that faith or to God in general. And let's not get ourselves a Jewish religion.

Well, the Jewish religion isn't there. It's not a PR firm. Like the, the Jewish people are like, it's a cult.

It is much different view than a Christian would view their religion. I apologize for jumping in there, but like it is such a different, people don't even understand that Judaism is like a lifestyle, not a, not, I don't want to criticize it as a religion because it is a religion, but it was like, let's be honest, koshers you're in the desert. Shellfish is probably the bad thing to eat in the desert.

It's probably not good to eat it laying out, you know, makes sense. Cheese, dairy and meat, not mixing a lot makes sense back then. That said, it still is a very important thing.

It just wasn't sold like the Christians could sell it. They didn't make good t-shirts back then. Anyway, so yeah, so you, yeah, so you grew, so you grew up in that traditional and I'm very familiar with that.

(2:15:47 - 2:16:26)

And I, I, I, I find Ashkenazi the most anti-fragile of people, just from all the struggle, literally cannot be defeated, cannot be defeated on any scale. So anyway, please continue. So, so religion was not part of it.

You didn't connect to it is what you're saying. Not at all. So I, I was not atheist, but agnostic.

Like I just, I don't believe or not believe. I just need to see some proof here or to understand something. Yeah, but just show me something.

(2:16:26 - 2:16:59)

Yeah. Then it wasn't until spirituality came into the field for me that really kicked it up a notch of shifting the view towards consciousness and presence. I think one of the first books I read was The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle.

Eckhart Tolle, I know it well. The flower, it does not start as a flower. Yeah, I'm totally with you.

(2:17:00 - 2:18:35)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that like, oh, power of now, presence, not time, presence, and that it turned on the seeker in me, right? Because then, then you have somewhere to look, you have a direction, spirit. So it was through that and trying to understand the mechanics of consciousness, spirit, and then, oh, soul, like what is soul? Like, just the curiosity, right? Like that birthed the understanding, like attempting to understand something spiritual or existential.

Yeah. Interesting, I like that. Yeah, I had, in the same way I was agnostic, I guess I would be agnostic atheist or whatever.

I mean, I went, I grew up Lutheran going to Sunday school. I remember them showing like a rapture movie and it freaked me the hell out. Like I ran home, oh my God, they're going to behead everybody.

You're going to take the mark of the beast. Oh my God, we're all going to die. I remember that.

And I, I just remember like my, my aunt, they worked on a farm. So they were Christians, of course, you know, and it's like, nothing fit right with me. And it's like, what are you, what are you doing? And I was in, I hate, I don't want to say indoctrinated, but I like to sing.

So I would sing in church with my cousin because we could sing a song. So let's sing in harmony. Yeah, it was religious based, but I never really connect to religion in any way, but I had a really bad car accident when I was 13.

(2:18:35 - 2:19:04)

And my dad basically told me that angel saved me and that really messed with me because I just was like, this is saving, this is saving. I'm in a full body cast here and I'm saved. You know, it was a tough thing.

It got me very much away from religion, you know, more than just whatever had some, I have a friend who had a best friend who was traumatized by the Catholic church. I did a two part podcast on that. Happy to tell you how awful those people are.

(2:19:05 - 2:21:03)

Cause it's not, it's not really about, it's not about the system anymore. The people have allowed that system to continue showing its face and are still supporting it. It's not, it's past three strikes in my opinion.

That's my opinion on that, but whatever that said, I kind of went, I hate to say anti-religion, but I went anti-religion and the best way to get out of having to argue about it was if a bush caught on fire in front of me and started talking to me, I'd pay attention. How about that? So, I'm 40 years old, 40 or 41. And my first, this is my rock bottom.

I, I understand that I do not want to get, go through this anymore. And it's not even ideations. It's just, I don't, I just, that, that was my rock bottom.

I just don't, I'm done. I'm tired. So I went to see a guy who was an NLP therapist, a neuro-linguistic program, a little different than a traditional psychiatrist, psychologist.

I'm not into medicine. It's not my thing. I don't want to be medicated.

I've not taken any. I met, yeah, we'll talk about other stuff later, but I don't do that stuff. Then I had my burning bush moment, which really screwed me up.

So I'm in my first meditation with this gentleman and I'm not a meditator to your point. The voices, first of all, the voices do not shut up. The first 30 times you're trying to just be still right for like two minutes of quiet.

Can you just get those voices to shut up? But, uh, I'm going through my first meditation with this guy. It's like, uh, he's walking me through, you're in a beach and you're picking up this stone and you look up in the sky and you see these pictures. And I saw the shooting in South Carolina the week before it happened.

(2:21:05 - 2:22:41)

I saw a black man behind a podium in a suit, looks to shake to the right, looks to shake his hand to the left. And I see a pop. First thing I saw ever, never, ever experienced anything in like that in my life.

I've had, I've had psychic experience prior to that, but never had a vision. So this happens on a, on a third, uh, was it on a Wednesday? It happened then the next Tuesday or whatever. I have a session with the guy.

I don't even think I didn't connect the two. I didn't think anything of it. I just, this guy puts me through a guided meditation and I go 90 degrees off to the right and I see death.

And then I come back and it's exactly what I saw because there's a video of this gentleman six months prior to the shooting doing exactly what I saw in the vision that he had. Now you've talked to me long enough to know how lucid I appear and how logical I would like to be. And I'm thrust into that world from science, logic, whatever.

I'm thrust into a complete spiritual world without my understanding. And since then it has not been pretty. And it's, it's challenging to hone it.

Cause I don't think I, I don't think I'm in control of those. So we can talk, we'll talk soul. We'll talk about that because it then leads to simulation, right? Simulation theory, right? It's like, are we internal external? What are we? Right? It gets, we, we're going to go down some rabbit holes and please feel free at any time to stop here.

(2:22:41 - 2:23:42)

Uh, feel free to cut me off also. Um, but had that experience, had more experiences like that. And, um, yeah, it's hard to shake.

Uh, and I, and literally the, the title of this podcast is that moment I was knocked conscious. Hmm. And it wasn't the consciousness that I think most people would want, if that makes sense.

And it was not within my control. Let me put it that way. So since then, let me share a couple of experiences and maybe you can help me understand because I, I think we're supposed to be talking for, for real.

Um, person I'm driving down the street and a person passes me on the left-hand side. It's a little drizzly in Arizona. And I'm like, wow, that guy's really driving fast.

(2:23:42 - 2:24:11)

First thing I think about, okay, I come up and it's like, there's an external signal, the pops in my head says, lay your foot off the gas. That guy's going to crash. And he's going to find funny.

Just don't understand it. I just, so I'm with my girlfriend. I'm talking like, yeah, that guy's, that guy's going to be trouble.

So I slow down maybe five miles an hour. We come around a bend and there's a pile up truck slows down, you know, slams brakes comes across. Cause he can't slow down and he hits something not crazy, but we completely avoided it.

(2:24:12 - 2:35:04)

And since these, since I've been able to be conscious, I guess it doesn't happen all the time and it's never contextual and it's never exactly a moment. Like it could happen a day before without understanding it could happen a week before, but it's generally close without context. And these are the experiences I have.

This isn't to tell you what I am or anything. I don't know. And ever since I'm, I'm talking real experiences that I can tell you from a lucid individual that if I didn't experience them, I would not believe you.

Right. Does that make sense? I would not believe that I saw what I saw when I saw it. Um, so that was, those are types of things.

Give me an example. I'm at, I'm at dinner and I'm eating. And I look at my girlfriend, I'm like, I wouldn't eat this with a goat.

I wouldn't eat this in a boat. And I start quoting Dr. Seuss, like just out of the blue, like what doesn't make sense, right? We drive home, come up to a red light. There's a car wanting to pull out.

And it's too, it, you know how there's one, like write the next car, like the next one in front of the light that pull out. It was like two in front, but I'm like, I'll just stop and let the person out in front of me. There's, you know, there's nobody behind us, whatever guy turns or person turns in front of us.

License plate Dr. Seuss. Stickers just littered across the back. And, and I sit there and I go, Oh, that's what that was.

I don't know why or how in the beginning, but there's no way that that's not connected. But the lucid part of me does not, cannot accept this connection. And I'll be honest.

I can't step fully into that moment because I work with people who have things and I trust me. I can tell you this is real. This is, I, it's not scientific yet to me.

It's, this is my analogy. If you went back in time and you had a Bic lighter and you went in front of a Neanderthal and you lit a Bic lighter, they'd either worship you or they'd stone you, right? Cause you're either a God or the devil. They didn't understand what combustion on a, on a butane lighter is.

They don't understand that concept. This spirit stuff is, we're just not there. We're just not under, we don't understand it yet, but to your point, the curiosity of understanding, and that's where the Einstein in you has to be.

What are the mechanics of the universe? Because I cannot explain what I've physically seen and experienced, but they're real. And the more people hang around me, they're like, what the hell is that? It's complete. And I can't, I can't meditate because I don't go into meditations.

I literally go off into stories of things that happened. Last I went to a meditation, a guided meditation with a person. I went to Sirius.

I went to Sirius B, the big blue ember burning, whispered in my ear, home, boom. It's just absolute craziness. And then I get a guy who, who's a medical medium and he touches my hands and he freaks out and he goes, you are, I can't handle you.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, I can't handle you. And I'm like, freaking out. Cause I don't even know what that means.

And he's like, Oh, you're from Sirius. Just like me. And you're like, these things, I don't connect them.

They're puzzle pieces that fit. And I, I do my best to not connect them. But when they fit the way they do, I question because I know that it's real, but this corporeal, this corporeal part doesn't work with that part, right? To your point, the shift, there's a shift.

And, and I, and I'm curious what, where your soul journey is, because that might help me understand mine a little better. Right? So, so tell me this, you, you became connected. How did you, where, where was that moment for you? I feel it comes down to when you have the awareness of what you were saying before about seeing beliefs as concrete, you're then given a choice, whether you want to keep concrete and in a, in, you know, slower thinking, because of those heavy things, or challenge the sense of concreteness in how you were programmed, conditioned, trained to be a human civilian in life.

So what is the belief system shift at that point? Well, you're either seeing in limitation and scarcity and holding to a security and safety of concreteness and limitation. It is always, if you come from scarcity, you're coming from limited. It's just, they go hand in glove.

Yeah, exactly. But then the other side of the choice that opens up, that is less safe and secure, but also higher in frequency, is everything is possible. That is open-mindedness to me.

If your proposition, your main proposition is challenging concreteness, the other side of that coin is everything is possible. This is the imagination. This is an open mind.

Everything is possible. If that is kind of the ground that you're starting from, then you see what is actually being defended in the old, which is fear-based. Because if everything is possible, it doesn't mean you need to believe it.

It just means you're open-minded on possibilities. Why would you want to rule anything out? Exactly. Exactly.

I think that's a good way to look at it, too. It's like, not anything's possible. Don't tell me anything's possible.

I know what can't be possible. Why rule anything out? Why not be possible? It's just such a more collaborative way of looking at it. Why not? Exactly.

I know. Yeah. I'm with you.

I was going to say, if we're applying what you're saying, which is the discord or dissonance between rational thinking and spiritual, dimensional, spiritual, existential stuff, well, now you're seeing if everything is possible, then those could either both coexist, or the side that doesn't understand it can let go of the fear of it because everything is possible, so okay. There's an acceptance there. You're taking a quantum mindset.

Let's be honest. Anything that can happen must, not could, not whatever. The probabilities are that every possibility, you're going to turn left instead of right one day.

You're going to stand up instead of sit down. You're going to do this instead of ... We can talk multiple dimensions. We can talk timeline breaks.

We can talk quanta. This is the weird thing about it to me where quanta is such a weird thing where it defies time. Space-time's no under attack, obviously, in this unique way, but I'm still understanding all of these things.

We can talk about that. I've got this weird theory. Theory's not even the word, but this concept.

I've seen what the we know, but obviously, those are cultists. We're able to transmit, I think, a bitmap image from one particle to another via tunneling. Let's just say, I'm just going to conceptual where Big Bang happens.

Everyone's technically, what is that called? Connected? What do we call it? Entangled. Everything would be entangled, wouldn't it, if technically it came from ... Even though eventually over stars became different matter, it still technically would be entangled. Is that someone's ability to tunnel into, say, someone else's memory, for example, and see this, or is it a quantum probabilistic method where it just sees ... The way I think about things is when you tell me something, I see every answer, and then I have to whittle it down to one.

I do it very quickly, but it's like, I know the things that just aren't working, and then boom. It doesn't seem like that, but that's how I almost see everything, because to your point, everything is possible. Feel free to expound on your thoughts on quantum in that way, or what are your thoughts on quanta, or what are your thoughts on this? These things that I experience, you're nodding, but obviously it sounds absolutely crazy, and I'm with you.

I don't understand what it is, but have you experienced those things in your search, for example, of spirituality, or are we all shysters who make up shit in our head, and we're like, oh, I saw that. It's very possible. Both could be true.

(2:35:07 - 2:35:40)

Are you saying specifically spiritual visions, or just- I feel like you've had experiences. I'm not asking you to delve in them, but it feels to me, some things that are popping to me is like, you've had some of these. You saw something that happened, and it happened.

At one point, you went, you know, I'm good with that, when you weren't up to that point. Then at that point is when I would guess you exploded. Now, I could be completely off here, but that's what I'm sensing from you.

(2:35:42 - 2:36:55)

Trying to- You can tell me I'm wrong, man. I don't take offense to being 100% wrong. You don't have to play a politician.

No, no, no. What I'm trying to get is feeling what you're actually asking here. I have a feeling that you had visions in the past.

As a highly sensitive empath, I think you've had some experiences. It's your choice on whether you saw them as good or bad. I saw death.

I don't know another way to see it. I don't see it as a way to another life. It's not like the death card in tarot.

It's not. It's death. You know what I mean? It's literally not here.

I've had past life regressions where I am not here. I can tell you I'm not here. I'm happy to share them.

It makes me sound like an absolute insane person, but these things are absolutely in my soul registry of some sort. I don't know how to explain it, but they're there. Why do I see death versus the life, for example? And how would you think, as one who is enlightened to an extent, shift that perception without consciousness? Because I didn't consciously look for death.

(2:36:55 - 2:37:07)

It threw itself at me in a way that I can't even explain the feeling that I felt when it happened. You know what I'm saying? It was so visceral. It was absolutely a real experience.

(2:37:12 - 2:37:47)

I feel, because of my unique approach to this, I come from a very...and and the negativity that I mentioned before, the negative worldview. I have a strong... I mean, neurotic is the encapsule of this, but it's like skepticism, cynicism, and pessimism. It's the neurotic cocktail.

(2:37:49 - 2:38:09)

And that is the world that I'm coming from in approaching this. And the big picture way that I paint this is with the hemispheres of the brain. Science, spirituality, and philosophy.

(2:38:10 - 2:39:50)

Left brain, right brain, and the connection. Philosophy is how left brain talks to the right brain. So I come from the full left side over here, where skepticism was my way of seeing everything, cynical, pessimistic.

I was very negative. So when I'm entertaining, everything is possible. The way that I see these things and experiment or get facilitated...I must have done a past life regression.

I remember doing visualizations. But for me, it's more the Picasso quote. Everything you imagine, everything you can imagine is real.

So when I come with my skeptic shoes on, yes, cool, I can visualize this and have this hat, but it's just my imagination. Plus, minus. Positive and negative.

But it withhelds me from really getting lost in the rabbit holes. Because sure, serve up whatever craziness you want to serve up. Everything is possible, and everything I imagine is real, cool.

Yeah, it's wild. But I'm also...I don't believe it. It is truly the Aristotle.

He's the mark of a curious mind to entertain an idea without accepting it. It's totally the same thing. We can work through concepts without having to adopt that you're what I...you believe what I believe or think what I think at the end of this.

(2:39:51 - 2:40:17)

These are just dabbles of understanding that...because I think it is out of my pessimism that I see the darkness before. Plus, obviously, darkness has a stronger path. All that stuff, it's just heavier.

My favorite quote, you gotta die before you die to realize there is no death. There it is. Yes, that's exactly...that's a great way to do it.

(2:40:18 - 2:41:32)

And the thing is, there was a point where I shifted. I got better, a lot better. But it didn't change some of the stuff I saw.

And it was like, I thought if I changed how I felt, my perception, that the images would be different. And they were...they have not been, for example. And it's an interest...oh, sorry, go ahead.

I just had a question come up. These are questions that you've had. Have you ever channeled them into art or anything? No, no.

Not art. Art, I draw a stick figure. I don't have...let me put it this way.

I think like you, you probably have a billion things you've done in your life. I used to have acrylic paints. I had an architecture sketch thing.

I had the slide rule. And I had this and that. I've got every hobby.

I'm still, to your point, the passion, which we haven't even gotten to yet, which is amazing. But that is not...I have just a curious mind. It is not locked into one thing.

(2:41:32 - 2:42:27)

I want to know everything and I want to get to know everything. And it really actually affects my relationships because I love meeting people, as I mentioned before. Knowing them is like such a deep level to the point where like I'm...it's the interest and curiosity of knowing who that person is.

And that sounds awful. It sounds so cold hearted to me. And I don't get bored with people.

It's not that. It's just they showed me something that ultimately is an impasse or something. And this isn't...I've got a very healthy romantic relationship.

This isn't like I work all those emotional weird things out. I'm talking about how we work in this realm, I guess. Right.

So if you could share any thoughts on that, that would be very helpful. I mean, but a podcast, a long form podcast. I know.

It's like I said. So let's go to passion. So real simple passion.

(2:42:27 - 2:42:46)

Yes. The gentleman on the British podcast, the second you mentioned passion, I went right to struggle, passion of the Christ. I know what passion is.

Passion is a very misunderstood concept, in my opinion, in today's world, because I'm passionate about biking or I'm passionate about hiking. Well, when it gets harder, if it rains out, you don't do it. Right.

(2:42:47 - 2:47:39)

So that's not passion. The passion is truly what you're willing to struggle through to get to. Right.

And even though I look at mine and I haven't come to fruition with what I've done, my passion is like is suffering. It's seeing what I see in this weird way. And it's understanding everything all at once.

And you know what I mean? So that's why I overwhelm myself. And I would lend to that leads to anxiety and all those other pieces. So those things, those things you can work out.

How do we work with the core soul of our passion when I don't think that most people would be willing to struggle the way you struggled, having no job, having no whatever to get to your passion, because really it is struggle. The point of passion is regardless of whether it's successful, you like it or whatever, you can't not do it. Right.

Icarus could not do anything but fly higher. Right. What's the guy, the guy who had to roll the boulder up the hill? That's he had to do.

Right. That's the whole object of stoicism and everything. Right.

So tell me about your philosophy on passion. I guess that would be the best way, because maybe if you frame it from your mindset, other people can understand it that way and utilize it. Yeah, I'm going to actually challenge some terms here because.

OK, cool. I I understand the passion of the Christ and the actual dictionary definition of passion is is suffering. But I'm I challenge that I challenge that because would you allow me to say passion is a calling? Would you like like is that is that a better, better way of framing it? Calling is not intimate enough.

I don't it's accurate. There's a call, but you have to answer it too, right? So it's a two part part, right? Yeah. And that's why this is long format.

You understand my initial statement needs a little nuance, right? Obviously. So let's nuance it. Yes.

Your thoughts. So if we're starting on terms level here and getting out of the religious preconception. Yeah, absolutely not.

I'm literally talking about the definition of the Latin term passion. Yes. Meaning struggle.

That's all. Yes. And I'm not arguing that.

I'm just going to challenge what we're actually talking about because I didn't know what my passion was. I didn't know what passion was and approaching it like a scientist. What I discovered was.

Yes, passion is the most volatile emotion. If we're going to call it emotion, it is the most volatile. But then you ask, like, why? Why is because there's a reason why passion is termed in that suffering struggle? Well, absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. Because you're pushing through that to through the struggle to achieve.

I mean, right. I mean, is that not what you're doing? Let's just hang back a little bit with me here. Like, yeah, absolutely.

To give a little space. Let's create a little cinema here where we're zooming out and looking at what something volatile is. Volatile is this.

It's chaos. It's uncontrollable. Unpredictable.

Unpredictable. That is volatile. And because we're overtaken by it, that's what makes it hard is because it is very, very volatile.

But I believe with some understanding and new perception and evolution here, what we're actually we got to ask ourselves what we're actually looking at when we're talking about something moving like this. Because. To me.

In my like research into this, and I put a lot of research into this, not necessarily like traditional, but no research in. We'll call you a deep thinker, regardless of a book that you've cracked or whatever you think about these things. Yes.

(2:47:41 - 2:48:11)

So the more that I dove into spirituality and duality and non duality or oneness. In trying to understand that the mechanics of like, oh, wait, it's duality is like good and bad, positive and negative. That's the contrast.

But oneness is the presence. That's the singular. That's somehow pointed out as the truth of things.

(2:48:12 - 2:49:18)

And when I take that into the into the realm of passion, what I see is. The closer you ride up your energy to a source. Prior to the split of the atom or the split of light into duality.

You're getting into light. You're getting into a light consciousness light. That is passion.

The closer the closest you can get to before a split. Your personal oneness. Is that kind of a once again? I try to lay things out, make lay terms, but a personal oneness is, is that passion? Yeah, because.

You can be passionate in anger. Or you can be passionate excitement. It is not a duality.

(2:49:18 - 2:49:45)

Good point. OK, yeah, and I do conceptualize it slightly differently, but that using that term of definition, it definitely I can now. It's just a word that now we have once again to your point, what are the three tenets? What was the first understanding? Grammar.

This is where we're at right now. I understand. Your definition or not wrote definition, but your experience definition of passion.

(2:49:45 - 2:50:03)

It is that point inside you that you that turns you on that just. Right, and it's not in duality. That's why when you're overcome and consumed by it, it is hard because you can't control something that volatile.

(2:50:04 - 2:50:23)

It's aiming at a mastery here of like when you do master. Your passion and it becomes effortless. Well, you're upstream of the two voices telling you fighting each other, telling you opposite pieces, telling you to stop, right? Like basically creating the noise that that gets in the way.

(2:50:23 - 2:50:30)

If you can get to the highest point before it splits to that. Now you don't have that conflict. You are at that point.

(2:50:31 - 2:50:56)

Yes, and you're wielding. Makes absolute sense. And so now like when you look at this from a evolutionary intelligence, human species improvement, we've got animals over here that don't really have emotions because that's humans are projecting that onto it, right? Yeah, absolutely.

(2:50:56 - 2:52:03)

Emotions correct. Then we've got humans here and then we've got like AI and tech coming over here. Passion is what makes humans humans.

Animals don't have passion and robots don't have passion. And when you take this like deeply in applying what I'm trying to convey here is passion is where humans have the conscious wielding of emotions. It is where we direct our emotions and inner power to be humans, right? What sets us apart and what is like in terms of visionariness, what's going to be the conversation in the future? It's not going to be about money because abundance and AI is going to provide so much more than what we're even comprehend right now.

(2:52:05 - 2:54:03)

Soul, spirit, passion, those are going to be the new buzzwords of this future because humans are going to need their purpose amidst this shift. Yeah. Okay, so how do you, totally a left field, it's a really bad question because it's really hard I think.

How do you trust yourself? When you have, when you found it, I know you've had all this journaling but yours was a very long process and I think it is a long process for everyone. I don't think, you don't just back into this, I think it takes effort first of all. There's sweat equity involved but I'll give you an example.

I have these things in me and I look at them and they've happened and they've happened before and it's like when I have the next one, what compels me to share it or keep it to myself? And a lot of times what I'm finding is in the weird quantum world is like I find when I share it, it probably has a higher likelihood of happening. If I table it, it's like it probably didn't happen here. It's almost like I give it its own little smell test.

It could be about any subject though. It could be the most volatile thing or the most passive thing. I might share the most volatile thing and it happens or not share the most passive thing like dropping a spoon and I don't or something, very extremes.

It's not just based on one extreme. When I see, smell, feel this, how have you found to trust yourself in a way when you get an in? Because I would assume highly sensitive inputs all day. How do you trust when your input matches something that you're thinking output? How do you go, this is right, this smells right to me, I'm going to take it.

Like the vaccine you mentioned, didn't feel, something didn't feel right. Felt the same way and I'm telling you, I feel like you would have had challenges just from what I'm sensing. Just one of those things.

(2:54:07 - 2:54:50)

I'll bounce back with a question. Please no. Don't make me talk anymore.

I talked too much. Or more for the audience. Asking yourself, well, what are you trusting? When you say, how do you trust yourself? Well, what are you trusting? What is the self? Where is the self? That you take, you take a few beats to, to submerge into that curiosity.

(2:54:50 - 2:59:38)

Now we're getting ego here. I mean, yeah, yeah. Deep, well, deeper for sure.

Yes. Ego, the self. Yeah.

Right. Well, when I say trust myself is let me, once again, nuance, right? We are in a nuance. So I have a vision.

What's me to think it's real here and to share or to not share. You have ideas that come in. What is your filter for? And, and I generally talk about ones where you're like, man, I could see somebody really thinking that's out there, but it feels right to me.

And I think I'm going to follow that or pursue that. Right. Yeah.

In intuition, I guess. Yeah. I think it's, it's always context.

The, when I learned that in, I don't know if you're familiar with human design, a little bit, but I learned that I'm meant to like more respond. And so once I learned that, like, oh, I don't have to be the one that's coming up with I'm best designed to respond like this. Oh, that makes me feel like you're an innovator though.

You're I feel like you are a creator, but you're a creator in a counterpunch way. Like in a, you see a neat, like in that way, in a responsive way, I mean, by, by context, like. The, you know, certain contexts.

Yes. It's so much better for me to respond because that's when I get activated. Well, context changes the content for sure.

It's like, if you're being attacked, obviously the best thing to do is fight, fend you off. Right. Versus you're not generally an aggressive person, but in this case, it would make sense.

Yeah. But when we're talking about okay, I guess there's different contexts, but then we're talking like different phases of an idea is what I see here, because when you have a baby of an idea that, you know, you listen to David Lynch talk about like ideas from the, from the ether, you have to, it's, you have to incubate. And if you talk to someone too early, especially a negative person and you share it, it's going to, you'll, it'll wipe it out so quickly and it's, it's, it'll be gone.

So do you find yourself keeping ideas to yourself more than sharing until you get it to a, what's that? That's what I've learned. Thermal, whatever that past the point of overturn kind of to have. Yeah.

People that I know I can trust to yes. And me. Yeah.

You need, it helps. Yeah. I'll tell like, I'll have those people.

Right. Where, where I know it's safe for this baby. But then it becomes more like driven to be expressed when it's time, when the timing is right, it'll be called, it'll be called upon.

I'll get the met, like, I'll get the message, like, okay, we got to start talking about it. It's ready. It's got a foundation.

It's got systems. It's got operate. It's the idea.

It's ready. Like it's out of the, out of the oven. Right.

Like, yeah, absolutely. Okay. That's a good, that's a good way.

And then you probably even introduced it to critics knowing that it's complete. Cause you need to tweak it. Right.

So you're the type of person who would actually take it, break it for me and show me where I can make it better. I'm sure that seems like you versus this is my baby. How dare you call out my baby? This is mine.

Yeah. I like that. It's a good full circle way to do that.

So your, your, your passion, tell us about your new, your newest thing. I know it's getting late. I'm I could talk for days and hours.

Um, you know, I, like I said, I, I, I find, I find interesting and I'm grateful for the conversation. I find you extremely thoughtful. You've come to places that I have a hard time getting to because some of my visions have not have been the reality of, of not that regardless of what I want.

So it's been challenging in that way for me. Once again, this is what they, what it is. I just try to navigate, right? Um, this isn't critical.

This is observational only. I went on your website. Every review is feminine.

You're a spiritual minded guy is, do you correlate the reviews? Would you say your audience, would you say your, your, uh, clients are more feminine based, even if it's more in a guy, a motherly way, it doesn't have to be a woman, right? It can be a feminine energy. I have a feminine energy inside of me that screams that was non-existent and tampered down for many years prior to that. How, how would you correlate that? Uh, you know, that either the, you know, I, like I said, you see a lot of females on, on your, on your website.

(2:59:38 - 3:02:39)

Is that because of the energy and the way that you think it's accepted or what are your thoughts on that? And it's not to criticize, please understand. I'm not trying to, I don't have a, I don't have a, I'm just curious. Yeah.

I love it. The, cause I think men need help. Yeah.

Completely honest. Not, not that men are bad. I don't think it's not a misogynist thing.

Men suck and men need help. Like we do. Yeah.

And I don't, there's a lot of ways to break that down, but yeah. If I'm, if I, first off, I feel like women are more open to feelings in general. Like I think that's, uh, that's a given.

Like that's, that's the, that's the surface of this. I think that's a delay of the comic book and the men like mental health is a delayed thing. And in men it's suppressed.

Absolutely. Exactly. First thing that comes to mind, but I think you have a deeper idea to it as well.

Yeah. When I, when I plumb deeper into this and I take my, you know, struggle with communication and things like that, it's a calling for me in response. It's definitely a calling for me to step it up a little bit more to communicate from more of my, uh, masculine energy.

And I can see where I've held back in where I've come from in, in feeling invisible and more sensitive and, and kind of more so in that feminine energy. It makes sense that I've attracted more clients that are, not to say that I haven't worked with men, uh, but you're raising a great point because I think there is a better job that I can do as a, as a founder, as a, as the inventor, as, uh, with the CEO to communicate more powerfully. Um, not to say that I am bad.

I think I've gotten a lot better, but I think I can, I can get better, um, to really reach, uh, to really reach and, and, and connect on that level with, with more guys that like you're saying that need some support, but also are suppressed from asking for help. Cause I know that like, that's the wall. Cause on, on one level of marketing, you're having to reach a target audience that is ready, uh, for what you're selling.

Right. Have to have the, the bullseye kind of be, yeah, you gotta be ready for this, but you know, and that's luck. We need to, you, you can be as predictive as you want, but that specific moment, that shift of any takeoff event that there is a luck aspect to that on almost every case.

(3:02:39 - 3:04:08)

And to not incorporate that, that is not to say everyone you set to your point, you've set everything up. So the luck is the smallest portion of the outcome, but there's always a thing like the timing. It is so much timing where a con I use an example, bosom buddies is one of my, one of the comedies growing up with Tom Hanks.

And it was about two guys who, yeah, it was literally one season or two seasons, early eighties, Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari. They cross-dressed because they needed to live it for cheap rent. So they dress as women and lived at the Susan B. Anthony apartments in New York city.

So literally this is two men dresses women who get away with it. They're best friends with the girlfriends that they have. Like, you know, like as girls that are best friends with them.

And then as, you know, they're like boyfriend and girlfriend when they're not dressed up as women. And it's like, it was this just ahead of its time thought, right? It was a timing thing. Five years later, 10 years later, that thing is Tom Hanks isn't doing movies.

Cause he's a TV star. He's a Seinfeld, you know what I mean? But because he, it was a head, it was just misplaced time-wise. It didn't take off to that extent where the idea was good.

Where do you, it is yours more of the preparation of the time. Like I know it's solid idea. I've gone through my testing or do you have an intuition aspect where maybe this isn't ready? I should still bring it out to the world a little earlier, or maybe I should hold on even though it's ready.

(3:04:14 - 3:05:59)

We're, we're definitely in the like early access. We're, we're releasing in December. Like that's, that's, yeah.

And then, you know, we want to build up some, some steam for like an official launch, maybe sometime next year. What I've learned in my entrepreneurial journey that I've really taken to, to this in a new, in a really cool way is I used to be very rushed and rush things and try to do things super fast without actually feeling into what it actually needs. And with this, we're really, really indulging in the patience to do it right.

And to do it very deliberately in an unrushed way. Um, and that has really allowed me to immerse in some of the details of, uh, communication and marketing that for my own evolution needed to happen. Uh, so, so that it can both have its own voice and that I could represent it.

Um, and, and that's kind of where we're meeting right now is like it's early access. It's for those like early adopters that love new tech, uh, mentality. That's me.

Um, yeah, I know what she means because this, what we're doing is, is sort of very much outside the box. There's nothing else like it in personal development. Uh, and so we know that, uh, it's not going to be for everyone, um, as we really, you know, get it out there.

(3:05:59 - 3:09:04)

Very nice. Yeah. Do you have a general overview just to kind of give it a general idea of what it is and what it does? Sure.

Yeah. So I kind of started it earlier when I kind of painted the A side of, of natural selection and survival of the fittest as the old operating system. Correct.

That is the old operating system from scarcity, fear, taking, conquering all that. And, and self-conscious. So what we have with imagination technology is a new operating system for the human mind, for the human species to accelerate the shift in consciousness and to give people, and this is connecting.

I love how it's all connecting back full circle, where we were talking about kind of a different view on Maslow's pyramid, like how can we use, you know, use technology to accelerate and kind of flip things on its axis. So our product, iSelf, is the way that we deliver and, and kind of support this shift in operating system to our, to our users, our customers who want the fastest and most effective way of healing, freedom, and mastery. That's, that's the, the, the big picture of what I consider personal development and conscious evolution from survival of the fittest, natural selection.

These are not conscious. These are victim, right? Like you were saying before, these are. Well, they're cause and effect, right? They're literal just, they're processes, right? They're biological processes, really.

They're, they're not thinking, they're just what propagates. Right. Yeah.

So for those that are already on the personal development bend, especially it's for them, right? Because they already had to speak the language of this, but they want to have a hand in their transformation and really steer this conscious evolution because it's a brand new opportunity to the human species. We've never had this before. And so for those that want to learn how to do it, and to have the, the support along the way to, to, this isn't just information adding onto your plate.

This is, this is a whole new operating system underlying the body, mind, spirit connection from the big picture. This is imagination technology, not information technology. It's a whole new way of, of, of being that is more natural to how we operate and not artificial.

That's beautiful. That sounds great. I'm on board.

(3:09:05 - 3:13:57)

So how do we sign up? Do we just go on? Yep. Imagination technology dot org is a compassion company. Yeah.

The passion, but it is a redirect. I thought, I thought it went somewhere. I apologize.

Let me type it in anyway. So I it's, it's a beautiful thing and I love the way you're doing that. You're, you're coming from the abundance mindset and we're finding in entertainment, for example, comedy is a good one, right? With the Joe, the explosion of Joe Rogan and his open armed, open mindedness to just inviting everyone to say, and to express, look at his community, what he's developed in Austin, for example, people are flocking to him and, and he's not asking for this, you know, he's not, I think it's not like he's being some savior or anything.

It's not like he's playing that, but it is interesting how people, you know, either vilify or deify, right. They're, they're people and how he, but his came from the abundance mindset. It's such a bigger way to look at is like, there's plenty of comedy go around.

There's no longer three television stations, right? There's no longer cable fighting. It is out there. And it's just one.

I'm just wondering if once again, we have Pareto's, we have the Pareto principle, 80, 20, we've got the prices law, the square root of the employees does 50% of the work. We've got these two really big laws in place. And regardless of how we spread out that wealth, do you see the natural laws of Pareto and price possibly still becoming a thing? And can we live in the 20% as the 20% once again, I'm asking, I'm asking for, because I need, we need to shift from where I, where the people are thinking, where they live, right.

They live in this muck and mire of the reality of scarcity and fear, because that's what's fed to them. That is what the news is. That is what the gas crisis and the food, everything is fed into our fear, right? Where, you know, I don't, it's like, how do we, you know, how do we get that reprogramming done? Right.

It's like, do we, do we just trust that we'll be the 80, we'll be the 20% that have the 80% or we, you know what I mean? Are you familiar with Pareto principle? And I mean, I got the gist of it from what you said. So basically the Pareto principle basically tells you regard over all laws and all over nature, it's kind of like how it is now. 80% of the wealth is owned by 20% of the people, right? And it's like, it's like this 80, 20 rule of 80% of the Xs.

It's the 20% that have, you know, 80% of your time is with the 20% of people that you're trying to sell. But 20% of your time is the 80% of the real foundational money, because you've generated that concept. Does that make Pareto? Yeah.

It seems to be a law that will over time work itself out. Do we think we can consciously overcome the 80, 20, because at limitless, I guess 80% of limitless is limitless and 20% of limitless. So I guess maybe the bigger question is how do we get out of the comparison mindset? The comparison is the thief of joy.

Yeah. And I guess that's where I was coming with. And this is why I have to do these types of conversations, because I just found out my question, trying to figure out how to ask it right.

Now, how do we because comparison is that right? We do compare against our person. So if they get one more like or click or one more follow or this or that, there is a non even dispersion of that outcome, regardless of the abundance. Yeah.

So my guiding star for vision is Star Trek. Because when, if we're going to the far, far, far future that that show presented or Roddenberry crafted, what you're seeing there is the idea that if we can materialize any material from nothing, there is no more scarcity and no more need for money. I'm not saying we're there now, but I'm saying that we're building a bridge to that.

That stuff's coming. I don't know how fast, but if that's the presupposition that we're heading there, where we can materialize things out of nothing, any material, and then a holodeck that can do anything for like any environment and scene. Well, then if we take that in, we're actually just retuning what wealth is on a consciousness level, not a material level.

(3:13:58 - 3:15:01)

That's all that we really need to shift. Because once you discover your true wealth in a consciousness sense, the material wealth really doesn't hold a candle to that. And you're closer to the limitlessness at that point.

And then those laws don't really matter because you're not doing the comparison thing. It's not about that anymore. Okay.

Using that as an example, this is where my individuality comes in. Once again, coming from tyranny and oppression and understanding the sovereign of the individual. Please take this with the grain of salt that I throw it.

Why would I want to be part of a federation that tells us that we're free, but really controls what we do and how we do it? Because it's not really a freedom thing because you're being monitored. Let's not kid ourselves, we're thinking Star Trek, but we're living in 1984. Sure.

(3:15:01 - 3:17:04)

Okay. So once again, you and I, we can be as visionary as we want. And when you become the power, the Bill Gates who does what he does and is the evil that he is, right? Not the good that he is, right? Please understand, I have an ideology or I come from a side, okay? It's very simple to see the evil that he is.

I know Elon, obviously the guy has responsibilities that I couldn't even fathom to grasp the effect of what one of his decisions does to 50,000 people. I've never been there. So I don't have that luxury.

I don't want it. I'm not going to kid myself. I don't want that.

I don't have that ability, but I fight that at all times. And I find Elon refreshing in a lot of ways. We can obviously agree that he's more open than any other billionaire out there.

And it's not critical of people who make their life, right? I'm like, I'm all for that. It concerns me with that yielding of power and how that can become authoritative versus freeing. Because in your vision, absolutely freeing.

But Bill Gates doesn't live in the freeing version. His farms produce all the fries for McDonald's. He owns the biggest portion of land.

He's going from vaccinations to nasal spray. He makes a half a billion dollars saying the vaccine's good and then shits on it after he dumps the stock. He actually shits on Elon for Tesla, which I love because Elon's like, thank you.

I'm good. I don't need you. Because he doesn't need them, okay? Good is good and whatever.

And I love that. But there's a point where that type of consolidated power can be challenging, right? It seems free, but it's not free. Does that make sense? Just because you're afforded everything doesn't mean you're free.

(3:17:05 - 3:17:46)

At what point are you saying, what do you mean by consolidated power? Well, like the federation. I can go back to governments, right? We're moving to a digital currency. We're moving to CBDC and they're adding, for example, carbon footprints to this digital piece where they're telling you, you have an X amount of allotment.

You can do anything you want, but this percentage goes here, that percentage goes there and you cannot get outside of that. That's not the freedom that I recall, me going outside and making the choice to ride my bike and falling off the bike and scuffing my knee. They don't even let you get there.

(3:17:48 - 3:18:47)

I know it's a big picture question, but it's like, with that level of ability to get that, someone's managing that, correct? And at what point does the altruism no longer become altruistic? Because our government has to do things to protect our sovereignty and they're probably not good things, right? There probably has to be war to some extent, and there has to be some defense or some thing, some ideas, some policies placed to protect something and it creates another problem over here, right? I've always been just like, we should have our communities and be as free within those communities. But even within the guise of a larger policy, and once again, I don't even know what I'm asking, to be honest. I'm just asking, I think visionaries see altruism in everyone and I haven't experienced altruism from those who have the ability to give altruism.

(3:18:48 - 3:19:31)

Yeah. Does that kind of make sense? I mean, is that a weird way to say that, to ask that? What's coming up is... And I apologize for my frantic thought on it. I'm trying to work it out in a correct question that's constructive because this isn't a bitch fest.

This has been highly entertaining. I'm just grateful for the conversation because you explained some very beautiful concepts that I need to listen through and really work on adopting in that way. I just seem to find that the altruist, the visionary who is, becomes the tyrannical person who isn't.

(3:19:34 - 3:19:52)

And only when one can become to that critical mass of not being affected by, right? Like the one who can make the, push the buttons. The visionary is not the powerful until they can control all the things, right? I know that's deep, man. And I apologize it's so late.

(3:19:52 - 3:20:39)

So if that's something we table for another day. Let me respond. I have some things coming up here.

Because when I lens this from evolutionary terms, because what you're bringing up are closer to us and the remnants that are left over. But the more mass of people that are consciously evolving and know their freedom on the inside is going to reflect itself on the outside in terms of the world that we're creating and projecting on the outside. It's the best way that I change.

(3:20:39 - 3:21:08)

You want to see in the world kind of, I mean, you know, yeah. And the best way that I could put it is like when people clean their inner climate, the ramifications will be the earth's climate. It's not the other way around.

That's where people are getting confused. So the more people that, yeah, it's the clean your room in a weird way, clean your room aspect, right? Go inward. And if you keep your stuff straight, obviously, and everyone does that, then outwardly it will come.

(3:21:08 - 3:23:11)

Then all these things that are stemmed from fear are going to fall away in evolutionary terms. They will be antiquated the more that people are aware of choice there. And that is such a visionary mindset.

It's a thing that you get to. And it's funny because I've sprung to that, but I've reverted. I, you know, I come, I go back and forth and it's, I personally, uh, I, I had an okay position at a company and I'm making about half of what I used to make because I want no leadership.

I want none of that. I know the reason that is in me is I have an anti-authoritarian mindset from a bunch of things. But the big, the biggest, the biggest part of it is like, I think I would be the tyranny that I see in others when I criticize power.

And it's always my concern that I will become the evil. And I hate to say evil. Cause it just sounds like, but there's a combative relationship, right? You work in wrestling manager has a combative relationship with an employee, right? But they are a yes person to the owner, but I'm not a yes person to anyone.

So it's like, you play that constant dance of, I think I would be very authoritative as a manager. I wouldn't put up with guff cause that would be my style, but it doesn't work well with others. But that's not, that's not how it would work in my house.

Cause this, it worked the way I'd want it to be run, if that makes sense. Right? So knowing all these things in myself, I've actually held myself back from leadership and, and, and those positions for my own personal fear that I would become, I wouldn't be altruistic anymore. Like how much for I can do a podcast cause we can talk concepts and this doesn't hurt anyone.

Ultimately, if someone can listen to it, take it and not take it. But if I do something, you know, Oh, sorry. I was going to ask so I could be on terms with you.

(3:23:11 - 3:34:46)

What is the difference between altruistic and authoritative? Well, altruistic would be doing something. Okay. Authoritate where altruism becomes authoritative is when I think that I, we need to do something for the betterment of all that's my altruism, but it conflicts with your actually being better for you.

Cause it's not better for you or a percentage of people. That's where it becomes authoritative, right? We can use COVID. Uh, it was altruistic.

So you wouldn't kill your grandmother to get the shot. It became authoritative when people were getting fired for not getting the COVID shot, even though they've been exposed and been frontline workers that we applaud this whole time who have gone through twice, you know, haven't gotten it twice and are completely have natural immunity. For example, that, that altruism of saving your grandma, which is the narrative from the, from, by the way, the, the visionary, by the way, the visionary RMA or MRNA technology.

Once again, I believe in visionaries. That's not the ideas of the stuff. It's how we use them that I'm having problems with those visionaries aren't using misusing that to become authoritative.

That, that is where altruism becomes authoritative. I don't know it. You don't see it in Star Trek cause they never addressed it, but there's gotta be people who are not doing anything.

And you're like, why are you not doing anything with everything allotted to you? Right. And I'm sure there's so many coming down on them in some way going, you're not living up to your federation duties. We never talk about it because that's not what the concept of the show is.

Right. Right. But let's be honest.

It's great to be on a, on a honeymoon, but when you get back from the honeymoon, it's the reality hits. It's a different, right. It's different.

Do you, this isn't critical. This is just looking at the full pictures. I want to be clear that I'm trying not to be negative, but I am being negative.

I think, I think we need to represent all the sides to have a healthy conversation. Do you feel that there is such a power that is neither authoritative or altruistic? No. And I think that's what it is.

I think there, we should always have checks and balances at all times on all costs, on all sides. Right. Like I, I fear that at some point, you see with the sovereign of the individual, no one, 100% is going to be happy.

Government has to have authority. There have to be laws in place, right? Even if you don't like the law, it's there for some purpose. Correct.

When we get to the point of altruism, we want to help others by forcing that help on others. It can be a big detriment to the people who don't want it forced upon them. Right.

And that's all I'm simply saying is if we need, if we are to recognize the sovereignty of the individual, it's almost like this overall arching thing is practically impossible other than for the guys with society, right? Like we need to live together. And those are the concepts I think about. And I don't know if there are answers because they are probably out there probably from the scarcity mindset, but we're not at the abundance mindset yet.

Well, I think the nuance, like I know you brought up the entity of the government and that wasn't really the nuance of my question. My question is more towards the individual. Is there such a power that is neither altruistic or authoritative? Use lay terms.

Are there non-player characters in the world? Yeah, there are a few, but I would say most people want to help. And even if they want to help, some people want to tell you how to do it. So you could have altruism and authoritative.

You can have authoritative without it. You can have altruism without the authoritative part where I just want for everybody. So there's, I think there's a balance, right? I don't know if those are the binary pieces that we're talking about.

That's not the one or the zero, but it's close, right? I think to your point, it is a little bit close that we're kind of getting there, but you ask a very good question. I would have to say, okay, I always have a thought initially compel me to change my mind. I would say, no, everyone has a percentage of both throughout their body, whether it's like, I want to help people, but I also tell people how to help.

Like, baby, I want you to feel good in the morning. So you know what you need to do? You need to do this. So you feel good in the morning.

It's like that. No, she needs to do what makes her feel good in the morning. Not what I think, right? That's the authoritative part versus the altruism is I want her to feel good in the morning.

Right. The authoritative becomes a how, right? Right. Interesting.

And when you, when you impose an altruistic feeling on a sovereign individual who doesn't feel that, it's no longer an altruistic act. And I, this is just reality. This isn't right.

This is, there's going to be one out of 7.8 billion people that are going to not agree, right? Like regardless of any topic. So these are the things where I try did your oneness. Maybe that's the thing I'm trying to get the one of 7.8 billion and that guy from seven, I want to, I'm trying to get everybody into the, to the fold.

How do we all buy in without it really being buying in, I guess, right? I, it's the core of it, I guess in my, in that, in that thing. So final thoughts, I, I talk too much, talk more, please help me out here. I think, I mean, just to put a bow on it, like we're, we're coming at it from different angles, but at the heart, I feel we're talking about inner power, inner, like, I think if, if we're not getting lost in the complexities of application of power, but more directing people to it so that they can have the freedom to have it, that in the altruistic sense feels much better than people not having freedom.

Yes. So I think we're talking all the ways around just where is our inner power? What is it to passion and how can we consciously evolve to, to, to shift into that consciousness or have a whole new operating system to play with? I love it. So you, so your concept is to basically introduce people to, through workshops and such to collaborate, to gain this inner power.

How is that? How do you do it? Or it's, it's much more simple than that. We've got a, a little course program that has like five videos. That's all you need to, to really grasp and start to play with it.

And then we've got a help desk tech support for the soul that is there to help you install it, like to run it and to take it into application. Cause that's where a lot of personal development doesn't quite do it is how do you apply? Yeah. That's what I really wanted to focus on with this is giving people something to really play with specifically.

Right. And, and I would not call your thing like a self-help thing that, that that's doing it injustice, but in that vein of helping oneself, exactly. The concepts do nothing without application, without finding a, finding a way for it to apply to you.

Yeah. Because every yeah, perfect. That's a great way to put it.

So, well, if you have any other concepts, anything I said that you, that pops some thoughts in your head that you'd like to close before we call it a day, I I'm more than grateful. I mean, it's been three and a half hours. It's like a time warp to me.

I it's like, I just sat down with you, Jeremy, thank you so much for your time. I'm more than grateful. I thank you for having me and facilitating like such a, a wide breadth of, I don't think I've ever had such a wide breadth of conversation on a podcast before, uh, all the topics, pro wrestling cinema.

We haven't, we haven't scratched the surface. Quantum. Yeah.

So if you ever want me back, I'm going to do another marathon. I'm, I'm always all right. Well, it sounds great.

I actually reached out to the person who contacted us. I'm like, Hey, if you have a story you want to share, uh, that person didn't mention anything about coming back, but it's okay. I'll leave it open as well.

Um, you know, some people I'd love to talk to. Feel free to, if this had any value of anyone to anyone, I am trying to do something with this. I'm not going to lie.

If I don't ask, I wouldn't know. So you obviously know what I'm implying. Uh, feel free to put my name out to people who want to talk to me for four hours about anything.

Cause I will literally talk about anything. I pretty much have it as easy top, my friend, um, Jeremy instant connection. Thank you so much.

I am. I, I am, I don't know how to explain it. It's like, I'm, I'm in awe of the visionary you have and the, the ability and lack of visionary I have in me and the weird way and what I'm fighting myself to do, for example, cause I am in the older school of, we really didn't understand ourselves.

You didn't understand yourselves. I didn't understand 15 years prior to you. There's that's a whole generation, a whole family of people.

I mean, people having kids at 15. So that's a whole nother family generation of, of issues that we deal with, that we tried maybe that extra layer that we try to but the visionary is, I just admire that. So for all my shitting on the negatives, cause that's what I, I only want to fix the things that are broken.

I don't want to fix the things that work. Right. Um, I admire you and I'm just grateful for the time that you, that you've offered.

So closing comments, please share everything you want. You have, you have the floor. Well, I think I'll, I'll close it off with a little bit of a, of a tease that speaking of, of bring it back all the way around to not conscious.

I want to, I want to just put a, put a little, little emphasis on there's a lot out there in terms of information uh, to improve yourself that is going to blow your mind. Let's let, I'm going to give credit where credit is due. There's tons of shit out there that is going to blow your mind.

(3:34:48 - 3:36:20)

But if you truly are interested in having your mind broken, uh, please contact me, uh, request an invite, uh, to Iself, uh, powered by Imagination Technology because yeah, it's the difference between having your mind blown and having your mind broken. And that's what you need to truly consciously evolve. Can't sell it better than that.

Last question. Are, do you plan to document the journeys of individuals doing it almost like having a film crew follow them? Yes. Have you thought about that? That's where my vision, see, I already go into like thinking how you would for those.

That's what I do. Really good luck. And that's launching very soon.

We don't have a date yet, but you have that coming up. Um, please feel free to email me all your information. I'll put it all on the bottom of the YouTube video.

I'll have it on both audio and video versions. So I'm going to put that here. Thank you again.

I am once again, I'm just grateful and that anyone takes steps, like just takes chances like you do. I had always come from a scarcity mindset. My, I, I own my own house.

I have a property. I'm grateful for everything I have, but it is even without what I haven't owned, it's scarce. It's still not abundant, you know, in the large scheme of things.

So I'm grateful for you having a, an idea that allows for that abundance to spring forth. So thank you again, man. Uh, maybe we can connect again in the future.

(3:36:20 - 3:37:05)

Like I said, please feel free to pass my information to people who I'd like to talk to. So, but, um, thank you again, Jeremy, it's been a pleasure. Welcome to knocked conscious.

I'm glad that it resonated with you. It's certainly your, your, uh, journey certainly resonates with me. So loved it.

I had so much fun. Thank you again. Have a great day.