A conversation about courtesy versus respect

Chris and Mark have a conversation about courtesy versus respect. Courtesy and respect are markedly different concepts, but it seems that people/society as a whole have intertwined/conflated the two, creating some social effects/issues.
Music (intro and outro): “Cantina Blues” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Transcript:

(0:15) Hello everybody and welcome to Knocked Conscious. Hola. This is Mark.We’ve got Christopher over (0:22) here. Hello. He’s stage left or stage right, I’m not sure which one.It’s one of the stages. Stage. (0:28) Stage three, possibly.So we’re gonna start with a quick correction from our Catholic Church episode. (0:40) Christopher, you said that there was a 70 year span where like over a thousand people were (0:46) molested in New Jersey, is that correct? Yes sir. Okay.I fucked the math up. I said 150 a year, (0:52) which doesn’t fucking matter because one is one too many, but it’s 15 a year. But that’s basically (1:00) one and a quarter children a month for 70 years.So it’s a thousand divided by 70. Yes, I did it (1:08) by seven and I screwed. So it’s 1.5 a year? No, 15 a year, not 150.Okay. I said it was 150 children (1:17) a year. And I said even at 120, it was every three days.So it’s every 30 days. Right. 30.Yeah. 20 (1:26) some days, whatever. It’s one in a quarter per month for 70 years.Doesn’t make it any better. (1:33) So it’s still shitty. But we talk about synchronicity, right? This is Knocked Conscious.This (1:41) is where we talk about our, uh, our paranormal experiences, our psychic, not like ghostly. (1:49) No, no, but just otherworldly. I don’t know how another way to explain it, but I use paranormal (1:54) as a not normal.So not using our normal senses. I don’t know. It’s fucking stupid.I’m an idiot. (1:59) But, um, sir, when did we record that podcast? Uh, a week ago, Friday, Friday the 29th. Sure.(2:11) I believe it was. It was the 29th, Friday the 29th. Do you know what I got in the mail the day, (2:19) the next day? It was sitting on my counter.A person who lives in my house had gotten mail (2:25) and it was sitting there and it was addressed to Mr. Mark Poles or current resident. Would you (2:34) like to take a guess? Even though, you know, I’m going to guess it was the bowling championship (2:44) encyclopedia Britannica encyclopedia, 20, 20. Nice.Close. No, I isn’t. No.Damn it. I thought, (2:52) I thought you were going to go like history of the Stanley cup or something because I was more (2:57) like bowling, dorky ice hockey Laker. So, so we did a really fucking crazy episode on the Catholic (3:06) church.Two parts took two parts, two and a half hours. Everybody, please listen to that. It’s (3:11) ridiculous.And in my mail is a book. The first page reads the untold story behind the Vatican’s (3:20) rising influence in America. And it’s basically something that shits on the church as a whole.(3:27) I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can hold it up. Cause I don’t know.I, are we allowed to, (3:31) I don’t know if it gets in trouble. Please do. Please do.You can hold it up. This came free (3:35) in the mail, dude. And please don’t show my address on the back though.Okay. So the address (3:40) on the back is one, two, three, four, fifth street. I believe that’s correct.Yeah. That (3:46) came in the mail. That came in the mail.And, um, that made no sense to me. I, I believe I (3:52) texted you immediately went bro. I think I took a picture of it and said, I brought it to you (3:56) actually to your house the next day and said, less than 24 hours after that podcast that was (4:01) in your mailbox.Yes. Um, and that’s after we recorded it, not after, but it’s from Michigan. (4:07) So it had to be in the mail two to three days before the recording of the podcast.That is (4:15) correct. So how do you logically, how do you explain that? The police wrote an album called (4:27) synchronicity. Oh, you mean those police, those police, not, not, yeah.Um, no. So that’s a big (4:36) concept in the spiritual Juju world in the fruit loop wind timing world is synchronicity. You (4:42) look at the clocks, 11, 11, or one, two, three, four, right? 1234 or four 44, you know, just (4:48) consecutive numbers, things like that.You see them on license plates or on buildings, whatever. (4:52) There’s this whole thing about synchronicity. A lot of people use that to guide their lives.I have (4:59) experienced it firsthand. And I, in my opinion, it is used more as, are we on the right path? I (5:08) don’t use it as like, Oh, what, tell me what to do. I don’t use it to guide me in that way.But if (5:14) I make an action and I see a synchronous event, it may support or, you know, counter what I was (5:22) doing at the moment. So we did a podcast about the Catholic church, less than 24 hours, sitting in (5:29) my mail, been in the mail system for X amount of time that I had no idea about, because it has my (5:34) name or current resident as the addressee, um, speaks about the Catholic church in an, in a very (5:44) interesting light. Uh, so that lets me know that I think we shared, we, uh, covered the correct (5:55) topic.It’s crazy, man. It’s fucking scares me. Cause I, I have these things happen a lot and I (6:04) don’t know how to explain it.I don’t know how to explain it. So those are the two things I just (6:10) wanted to cover, um, before we continue, because I’m all about being correct. So I, I, I’m not here (6:15) to slander.I’m not on a witch hunt. My number, I did the math incorrectly. I carried a decimal (6:19) point and, um, that was wrong.So still 15 a year is fucking shitty. Anyway, so we’re going to talk (6:31) about a fun topic now, as Chris is reading the middle of the book, I don’t need to just crack (6:35) right to the middle of it. Um, we’re going to talk about courtesy versus respect.So it’s really (6:42) interesting because a lot of people are talking about how much we need to respect each other and (6:47) whatnot. And I have a very different, I don’t know, maybe interesting, hopefully it’s interesting and (6:53) different look on courtesy versus respect, whether it’s earned or given or how that works. So Chris, (7:00) I would love to let you take it away from here and see what we’re going to do, Bob.(7:07) We’re going to start with the definitions, according to a beer Googles, uh, courtesy, the (7:14) showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior towards others. Excellent. Courtesy, the (7:23) showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior towards others and respect, respect, a (7:31) feeling of deep admiration for some one or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, (7:39) or achievements.Respect a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by (7:47) their abilities, qualities, or achievements. So in reading those two definitions, how the fuck do (7:59) we confuse the two? I don’t think I do. I think the human race does.And I think there’s a great (8:12) lack of both of those things running rampant through a lot of the people that I see on a daily (8:18) basis. Yeah. So what you, you wanted to talk about courtesy and respect cause you’ve had a certain (8:25) upbringing that demanded certain things of you.Absolutely. So would you like to share that now? (8:32) Or do you want to talk about that? I don’t even really want to be here. Oh, I, it’s not like (8:37) clerks though.Like you’re not even supposed to be here. 37 dicks. Um, 37 30s turn out to suck any dick (8:43) across the parking lot.So put it in perspective. He’s, I wasn’t 36. Not even one bro.Not even that (8:49) one time in college when I was experimenting. So, um, I was raised by a mess, Mexican Catholic army (8:57) drill instructor. No kidding.All that shit’s true. So I hashtag. So, uh, it was very, a rigid (9:08) household.So, um, you, I was taught to say please and thank you. I was taught to say yes, sir. Yes (9:16) ma’am.I was taught to respect my authority, respect my elders to respect the chain of command. (9:23) You know, when I’m seven, you bounce a quarter off the bed, you know, like that’s what, that’s the, (9:29) that’s what I grew up with. And that’s, and I, you know, now looking back on that, there were some (9:35) shit suck.Yeah. But I, I don’t think that that’s bad to, to be. My dad taught me to hold the door (9:44) for people to be courteous and to be, Hey, you know what? Don’t be a dick.(9:55) Hey now. So I don’t think it’s such a bad thing to sit. Good morning, sir.How you doing? Good (10:02) morning, ma’am. How was your weekend? And then people say, don’t call me ma’am. I’m, to me, it’s a (10:07) sign of being a nice person of, of showing that I’m trying to be nice to you, of showing that, Hey, I (10:24) guess it’s just trying to have respect.Maybe it’s not courtesy. Maybe it’s respect. Maybe there’s a (10:28) line there that I hadn’t thought about before.So it’s about holding doors. It’s about, Hey, I’m on (10:33) the freeway. I should, I should get up.I should back off my gas pedal and let this person in. (10:37) Cause I know this lane is going to end. That’s what it’s about.And my dad taught me to be that (10:42) way, even though he was notorious for never letting people in, which is very interesting. Cause his (10:48) words were one thing and his actions were another thing. So that’s a typical Catholic move.So that (10:54) was weird. But, um, I don’t think that’s a bad way to live. Like, Hey, we’re all going to get there, (11:01) bro.Just let the guy in, you know, just, just, it’s going to be okay. If you show up to work (11:06) four seconds later, it’s going to be okay. You know what I mean? Like, so I, that’s how I, (11:15) obviously I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.So, but I don’t just say, (11:21) please. And thank you. Someone holds the door for you.Hey man, thank you so much. (11:25) You know, let me get it for you the next time. Whatever.What’s what’s wrong with doing nice (11:31) things for each other. What’s wrong for trying to think of other people sometimes (11:36) or maybe most of the time. And I think that that’s being lost a lot.(11:45) Does that answer any of your questions? (11:49) It makes me ask a lot more. Well, that’s the thing is the second you brought this topic to me, (11:55) I had it. I have like a list of topics and we pick from them, pick and choose as we please.(12:01) But this one specifically strikes me because everyone talks about, you will pay me respect, (12:06) respect me. And I, and I don’t believe respect is given. I don’t agree with that statement because (12:12) I, I kind of live by the definitions.I think the courtesy is the politeness. Let someone in (12:18) front of you hold a door. If someone holds a door, say, thank you.That is courtesy. (12:23) And I think people conflate courtesy and respect. They put them together.And when they say, (12:30) I don’t respect you, therefore I can’t even be courteous to you. Right? Yeah. That’s where I (12:35) feel like this world is gone as a whole.I, I’m sorry that I sound like a 45 year old curmudgeon (12:41) guy, 45 going on 90, but I have held doors for families of people going to eat somewhere. (12:52) And they just all walk in and don’t hold the door and let me go, you know, just say thank you (12:58) or, or say thank you at all of 23 might say thank you. And they’re not the first people in.And (13:04) usually the first people are in the adults or whoever, you know, I’ve seen people, not even (13:09) you hold the door for them and they don’t reach out, but you expect them to reach out for it. (13:14) And they just kind of skirt behind it and it swings back closed. They don’t even touch the door.(13:18) You know, you’ve done that. I don’t want to interrupt you, but I have a question. Yes, sir.(13:24) I really would like to avoid this podcast from turning into a bit session. Yes. So I would like (13:31) to, your point is very, very valid.Yes. I would like to, how do we take these situations and (13:40) make them positive? Yes. So I have a solution.I think blow up the world, go PSAs, bro. (13:47) We have PSAs about public service announcements brought to you by Knocked Conscious. Don’t be a (13:55) dick.When someone holds a door, say thank you. When you, when someone’s coming, hold the door, (14:02) but you shouldn’t have to say that. I know, I know, but there shouldn’t be a sign in the road (14:05) that says don’t beat your wife.I know, bro. But they also tell you not to put your kids in your (14:10) car and your dogs and don’t put them in the pool. Right.It’s hot. Take your dog out the car. Yeah.(14:14) Get that. Well, that’s where the consciousness comes in. So to put a positive spin, yes, (14:18) bitch session over.We know what the problem is, right? My opinion is that respect and courtesy (14:23) have been intermixed and people don’t respect a lot of people because respect is much a deeper (14:29) admiration. So when they don’t have that, why would they say please or thank you? You’re just (14:34) another piece of a conglomerated meat. We’re just meat pods basically.So we can take courtesy out (14:41) of it. That’s my opinion. But I think we just need to address that courtesy is just simply being (14:45) nice to each other and you don’t have to respect someone to be courteous.I think that’s a good (14:52) message to take. What are your thoughts? I agree completely. Is it too early for story time? (14:57) Is it story time? Are you ready for story time? Me? I am.I’m ready. (15:03) I’m ready. Story time with Chris Peralta.So a year ago I was walking into work and I was (15:20) 12 steps behind a lady and she walks into the building. Let me guess, it’s swing shut. (15:36) The door, she did not turn up and look at me.She did not hold the door. (15:44) She’s a couple years older than me. So she’s not a spring chicken, right? She’s probably early (15:49) fifties, whatever.She had a, she had a hand free. She had a purse or I don’t know, but lunch bag or (15:55) shit. The door clicks shut as I’m reaching for it.Oh, missed it by that much. And I was like, (16:10) okay, that’s, that’s a great way to start the day. Right? Okay.Whatever. I, this isn’t a (16:16) bitch session then. No, wait, wait for it.Okay. I just, I let it go. Keep each other honest, (16:21) out of love.Appreciate it. So I got fucking ham hocks. What the fuck is wrong with these (16:31) sausage fingers? Um, it’s okay.So, uh, two, three days later I get an email from her. (16:44) I swear to God, I swear to God. So on the email, there’s her picture.So I didn’t know her name, (16:51) never met her. Didn’t have no idea who she was. None.Like I did. Like, I mean, I saw her around, (16:57) like at the break room or some shit, but I didn’t know who she was. So there’s her.I still don’t (17:01) know her name. Hey, hi, Chris. Can you help me with my bubble Bob? Because my bubble is broken (17:06) in the bubble bar.Okay. First of all, you’re not following the process because you’re supposed to (17:10) open a ticket because that’s the process. Do not just to clarify, you don’t send it directly to (17:18) you.You go through this thing and it trickles down to you. There’s a process that you’re (17:21) supposed to follow. Second of all, you wouldn’t even hold the door for me.Third. And in my mind, (17:34) most importantly, well, okay. Underneath her name, I don’t even remember her name.God, (17:42) that’s crazy. This is not important. Whatever.Rebecca Hernandez, whatever the fuck. DeMornay? (17:49) She was not on the subway with Tom Cruise and she did not rock the cradle. I, she may have, (17:54) I don’t know.So love like Bill, was it the song I wrecked my car too. So yeah, my Volvo in 91. (18:05) No, I sold that bro, bro.So at the bottom of the email that I should have never gotten because she (18:12) didn’t follow the process under her signature. Okay. Little signature, big font.I swear to God, (18:20) I had to look. It was so alarming. God, the story time is getting longer.It’s okay. (18:27) Under her signature in 18, 18 point point font, magenta. I swear to God, I swore I had to click (18:38) on it and then look at the font.Italics 18, magenta, italics, like whatever the aerial, (18:48) whatever the fuck it was. I swear to God, 18 was a Bible verse. Proverbs.So the thou unto the, (18:58) I will give unto though the pizza of the life of the Lord, whatever the fuck it said. And I was (19:05) like mother fucker. Okay.The first thought I had was, I guess I could put Iron Maiden lyrics (19:14) under my fucking signature line now. I guess it’s acceptable. I would woe to the earth and (19:19) the devil sends the beat with wrath.You know, fuck it. It’s not Iron Maiden. No, that’s the (19:29) mighty Led Zeppelin.Thank you. Yes. It comes to the land of the rice and beans.So says the half (19:37) guy. So I, I don’t even know what I did. The point is she didn’t hold the door for me and that’s a (19:46) common courtesy.Then I got an email from a devout Christian who are supposed to be the most (19:58) respectful, courteous people on the planet. Courtesy should be part of the creed. Like my (20:02) parents said, be Christ-like.I was told that a lot. Oh, Christopher, that’s not very Christ-like (20:12) bitch. Couldn’t even hold the door.And now you want me to jump through hoops for you and you (20:18) can’t even follow the fucking process. Are you fucking serious? I honestly thought this was (20:26) going to go a different direction. What did you think? I thought she was going to send you an email (20:30) and go, I look back and the door closed behind me.And I was just in a weird frame of mind this (20:35) morning. I’m so sorry that the door closed in your face. Nope.No, I know. It went the way (20:43) every other one goes. Why don’t, why can’t we get one of those other ones? I’ve done that before.(20:47) I would do that. I would go, I’ve actually done that. Dear Janet, I’m so sorry.I love Chris. (20:52) I, I stubbed my pinky toe and I have a hangnail and I forgot to hold the door. I would do that.(20:58) Love the Iron Maiden guy. How fucked up is that? Well, you’re, you have a good heart. That’s all.(21:03) Cause that has nothing to do with what you, um, hello. Music is like blonde brunette redhead. It’s (21:09) like Michael bubbles.It could be Michael bubbles. It could be like, you know, Amy Winecrotch. I mean, (21:20) I’m using your terms.I don’t know. I mean, it could be anybody, right? So it’s subjective. (21:27) That is story time, sir.I love story time. I love story time. It’s my favorite, but so how (21:33) do you, how do you think, how do you propose we address the issue of courtesy, respect in this, (21:38) in this conflation and the problems that are rising out of it? I don’t think we can.I, (21:46) I will continue to be who I am. I will continue to hold doors. I will continue to say please and (21:52) thank you because that’s how I was raised.And that’s what I believe is the right thing to do. (21:58) I, I, when I go to a store, regardless, if I go to circle K or the grocery store or (22:05) an expensive Macy’s or, and I’m buying a suit, I say to every person I interact with, I say, (22:12) hi, how are you doing today? Every single one, regardless of who they are, because (22:20) those people have hard jobs. Every single person.Yeah. I always think service people. (22:28) Not service people, service people.Although I thank people for their service. I thank people (22:33) like servers at restaurants. I’m on when, whenever I’m like, Hey, is there anything I can say? Yeah.(22:37) Could I please have another water? Thank you. Yes. Absolutely.Thank you so much. Like that’s (22:41) all it says. It’s not like water now.Like I’ve seen that obviously. That’s my dad. And I hate (22:45) to say, you know, we don’t want to get all pretty negative on it.We want to, we want to, (22:51) we want to solve this. And I think if we just roll back the clock and go guys, (22:56) we’re not asking you to like these people. We’re not asking you to like anyone.We’re asking you (23:01) to simply know that we’re all, but all revolving around the sun at the same speed. We’re all (23:07) rotating at the same speed. The moon’s going around us at the same velocity and everything.(23:13) And we’re all in this together. Courtesy works like, thank you. You’re welcome.But please (23:20) after you, yes, thank you. And if we just, if we had that, and if we had some kind of, (23:25) once again, I’m not one for making laws for these things. You can’t make a courtesy law.(23:30) You can’t, you can’t regulate behavior. You can’t legalize behavior in my opinion. I agree.(23:37) But people, can we just be courteous? We don’t have to, I don’t, I hate fuckers I hold doors for. (23:45) What would OJ Simpson say to this? He would say, hello Twitter world. This is like great (23:53) because I was very courteous as I did my duty.I said, ladies first. I don’t know if that’s (24:00) correct. That’s exactly what he said.He said ladies first. Yeah. That’s fucked up, bro.(24:05) I have no idea what he said. I think I’m going to be in trouble. I don’t think so.But to answer (24:09) your question, I hope that my actions of acting that way of saying please and thank you. And (24:17) genuinely caring about, like I go to the same grocery store about, about once a week, whatever. (24:22) And the same lady has worked there.I mean, I’ve lived in that same general area for (24:28) 15 years, whatever. Yeah. And it’s Linda.It’s Linda, the blonde lady. (24:32) And she’s really nice. She’s very pleasant.I say, hi, Linda. Good morning. How are you doing (24:38) today? She goes, oh, I have heartburn from that Starbucks.She did. And I said, (24:42) I’m so sorry to hear that. And then I left.I said, Hey, Linda, have a great day. (24:46) Every time I see her and you hate people. That’s funny.She has a hard job. No, no, no. (24:51) Yeah.That’s my point. But in spite of Chris’s flaming hatred towards general people, no, (24:59) he’s really not a bad guy. I’m painting him in a really shitty light, but in spite, (25:03) you’re a terrible artist too.In spite of your stick figure, bro, in spite of Chris’s (25:09) feelings towards anything that’s happening regardless. Yeah. That’s that makes sense.(25:14) Cause it’s easy. It’s how hard is that? Yeah. How difficult is it just to (25:18) not be a dick? And how well does it pay back? Yeah.Just, you know, if her day is a little (25:24) bit easier because I was, I took nine seconds to be friendly while I was ringing through the (25:31) flowers and the wine that I brought big fricking deal. Right. Yeah.How it’s like, it’s, it’s so (25:38) simple. And Chris, you did that today. You came over.I did. Chris is invited. Hey, we’re going (25:43) burgers dogs after a podcast and tater tots.What’s even funnier. Let’s talk about synchronicity (25:49) there. You text me.Hey, can I get a side like tots? I said, can I, can I bring, can I bring (25:54) tots? I can show the text ladies and gentlemen. It’s secret. Yeah, it is.But he did. Can I bring (25:59) the tots? Tots are, tots are already here, bro. Tots are included.Regardless. He goes, what else (26:04) can I bring? Can I bring flowers? I said, that would be beautiful. He brought the, as a courtesy, (26:08) never what’s, what was the phrase your father instilled in you? Oh, my dad always said you (26:12) never come to someone else’s house empty-handed.So, and if I do, I have Mark included in some (26:19) other friends. Oh, some dear friends had invited me over just recently. I said, what can I bring? (26:25) They said Tupperware.I was like, cause they always, I love them. They’re the best, (26:34) but then they make this, they make a side of beef. Right.And then I come home with (26:39) a quarter side of beef. I come home with a quarter. Yes.Like, oh, here’s your antler. (26:45) And here’s your elk sausages. Right.Do you get Hoover? Do you not eat the hoof? (26:50) Uh, I’ve had it in, in, in soup before. Yeah. In Mexican soup.Yeah. Excuse me. So, (26:56) and so I couldn’t do it.Then the next weekend, Hey man, come over. What would you like me to (27:00) bring? Nothing. Okay.That’s not okay. So I went to the liquor store and I bought them an expensive (27:05) bottle of wine, an expensive bottle of bourbon. And then I was like, here, stop saying bringing (27:11) Tupperware.Boom. It’s not okay. My dad would turn over in his grave if I just show up here for (27:17) fucking dinner.Yeah. That’s not, you just, I can’t, I can’t live with myself if I just, (27:24) it’d be like going to fricking DJ Fridays and ordering the most expensive thing on the menu (27:28) and then leaving. Yeah.Dine and dash. Yeah. That’d be the worst.Totally. Yeah. Never done (27:33) that before.I haven’t either. Cause I’m not willing to go to jail. I don’t think I ever (27:38) have either.I think, I think I walked out and then was like, fuck, I forgot to pay once. I did that (27:44) once at a, at a, um, at PetSmart. Oh, wait for it.You want, you want to, this is a story time (27:50) two. Oh my God. Oh my God.It’s two stories in one with Christopher. This is so like sidebar (28:03) story time dude. You guys, you guys.Oh my God. You guys. Oh my God.You guys. I was with the (28:10) boxer that I gave up in the divorce at PetSmart at the vet. He had his annual checkup, little, (28:18) little Bubba.So that’s his nickname. That’s not his real name, but that’s what I call him. So I (28:24) still call him that he’s good.Little dog. I opened the door of the exam room to leave, right. And go (28:31) pay and then make the, okay, well he has to be back in six months for his Bubba vaccine and his (28:35) butt stuff and his note and whatever the fuck they do.They do his butt stuff. Yeah. The anal (28:43) gland.Oh, the, uh, what’s that called though? Isn’t it like a word like, you know, glands (28:48) releasing now there’s like a word to it. It’s so gross. Yeah.The anal gland just came out of (28:57) nowhere. You see that was really, that was really, anyway, I, I opened the door. He’s taking shots (29:08) of something in his eyeballs.Oh, it’s magic. You know, so I opened the door. You waited for that.(29:21) I’m not the Mexican American idol at all. I opened the door and I walk out of the exam room with the (29:27) dog and my ex-girlfriend walks right in front of me with her little pomeranian that I didn’t know (29:35) that I was like, Oh, that’s a new dog. And I smiled at the dog.Oh, that’s a cute log. And I looked (29:39) up and I was like, Oh shit. And I panicked.And my heart’s like, Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.Oh (29:48) fuck. 170 million beats a minute. And I walked, I took a right where you’re supposed to take a (29:53) left to pay them $180.And I was like, Oh fuck. Oh shit. I’m all freaked out.So I walked around (30:00) the store with the dog and I walked out. I got home. No.Yes. I got home and I go, wait, wait. (30:11) I go, I got home and go, Oh shit.I didn’t fucking pay. I call him. Hey, I just left and I forgot to (30:16) pay.Can I, Oh yeah, sure. What’s your credit card number? Thank you. What was that number (30:22) again with the expiration date and the CCD number? It stops at, hold on.Hold on. I got it. 666-667.(30:33) The neighbor of the beast. Okay. That was all that story.I saw my old girlfriend at the fucking (30:39) didn’t pay, but came back and pay. That’s pretty. I called and paid once I realized I (30:43) Freaked the fuck out (30:45) at fucking Pittsburgh (30:48) What’s really funny too is (30:51) Along the courtesy line if I met yeah, I called them and I paid I love it.I was so like (30:57) Well, this is where courtesy role (31:00) Runs in my in my daily life. I try I try to do the same thing (31:04) I don’t know (31:05) I don’t always let everybody in because sometimes I read what they’re doing and I feel like their actions shouldn’t warrant (31:12) Reward like you would not hold the door for someone. No, I’m talking about letting someone in traffic wise.Oh generally. Oh, yes (31:20) Look, don’t get me wrong. There’s some shoulder runners and some whatevers.I won’t I won’t I will (31:25) Put a stand up for that because I that’s something about injustice (31:28) I’ve got a weird deep-seated thing about they don’t deserve to get let in right? (31:32) I don’t feel like I don’t feel like bad behavior should be rewarded, but that’s my personal and I’m guilty of that (31:37) 100% but in the courtesy world (31:39) I’ve gotten something wrong in a restaurant and I feel guilty even mentioning that it was wrong or something (31:45) I I remember I was it I think if I may speak (31:49) Fondly of two places Cheesecake Factory. Oh (31:53) That was so close, but it was way off. But that was good (31:56) I like Cheesecake Factory too because they want cheesecake one was in and out burger.Oh, yeah, and one was (32:01) oregano (32:02) Oh (32:03) Look at that. We got we’re 55th. We’re 50% (32:08) Okay, I do because they put pine nuts on stuff.Oh, that’s not good. Well pestos pine nuts. Yeah, that’s exactly right (32:13) That’s tough.I can’t have pesto. Oh, that’s it’s like pesky pesky pesto (32:18) Pesters testy pester. So, um, oh, I think this is this is story time for me.Yeah, no (32:24) No, we can’t we can’t overuse the story time button (32:28) So (32:31) One time they got me something completely wrong and in and out I called I said, I’m really sorry to trouble you and they got (32:37) Me a whole meal like sight unseen. I felt so guilty though to even bring it up because I don’t want anyone in trouble (32:44) But like that’s just a courtesy thing too is like, you know what mistakes happen? (32:49) Like it’s not the end of the world, you know (32:51) Oh, you got my you short ordered me oregano (32:54) Send me a $25 gift card because they forgot to put one piece in there Wow. I was really nice to them (32:58) Yeah, like thank you great customer service felt horrible even bringing it up because I can only imagine how (33:05) How busy they were? Yeah, I’m right the circumstances.So, you know (33:10) Yes, I would like to have the right thing happen. And those were two examples where they did the right thing (33:15) Yeah went above and beyond it. Thank you so much in and out and oregano’s (33:19) TM trade, I don’t know if they’re trademarked or most likely or registered registered sure sure, bro (33:25) LLC maybe a corporated type SC corporation, bro (33:31) And that’s her all my surfers (33:34) Well, don’t call me.Why are you call me a term paper, bro? (33:37) You just call me an essay, bro (33:40) And I stole that from Pablo. Yes. Yeah, I want to be I want to give credit where credit’s due because I’m not (33:50) Such hatred.I don’t know that was just honest. It’s true. So I the courtesy though (33:55) Why can’t we just be more patient with each other just it really does seem simple, but it’s not easy (34:00) I guess human nature not to be (34:03) But I feel like for a long time it was instilled and passed down (34:06) I mean loss of certain things like traditional I hate to say like traditional family values and stuff, but without passing down (34:13) You got it from your dad.Absolutely. I got it from my parents, you know without that next person passing it on (34:19) It goes away. It atrophies it breaks off.Yeah falls apart. Yeah, I understand what you’d say (34:22) So that’s where I feel like I just don’t know another way to do it other than like just culturally put out (34:29) advertising little billboards that are like (34:31) Hold the door say thank you if it’s held for you and hold the door for someone who’s coming up (34:35) Do you think that’d make a difference? I? (34:39) Think it would I think it could I (34:41) Don’t know how many children die in hot cars and how many dogs die in hot cars without PSA’s because we have them (34:48) but I would think the number might be one or two more and (34:52) If we can trend (34:55) In a direction, maybe it can become like maybe can go viral in a cultural sense (35:02) You know, not just a not a viral video like I don’t know this is just my thought (35:08) What are your thoughts? I don’t I don’t I don’t know man (35:12) I think that I see the signs on the on the in the interstates the freeways that say (35:18) Be (35:18) Courageous or whatever (35:20) And I’m like what I don’t I don’t I don’t know how that’s if you don’t already know that (35:27) If you don’t already know to be a good person (35:30) Do you think a sign on the highway is gonna help and maybe that’s me? (35:36) That’s a pessimistic thing to say and that’s me. That’s a pessimistic view (35:43) If you’re honest, I mean your parents haven’t already taught you that or it or your church or your mosque or your (35:51) Synagogue hasn’t already taught you that (35:53) dude (35:55) That money should be spent not on a freeway sign (35:58) But on helping a homeless person or helping a drug addict or helping that to me is a waste of money (36:05) It’s not efficient in my opinion.I (36:08) If it if they could show me that it works (36:11) Okay, great, but so but you don’t (36:16) Is there a solution then you’re just saying it’s it’s out of control. It’s never gonna come back (36:20) I mean is that that’s just my feel from what the way I don’t I don’t I don’t know man (36:26) I I just driving here today. Are you concerned? (36:30) No, I don’t lose sleep over it.Okay, but just driving here today (36:34) even in the fact I (36:36) Was gonna say this, you know (36:38) Cuz we’re at the tail end of phase one of the pandemic right right now and things are early June 2020 (36:47) Just driving here today people are I (36:52) Out of control just driving, you know (36:55) Go ahead. I (36:59) Experienced the same thing. I feel like people forgot how to drive in like the two months.They didn’t yeah, absolutely true (37:04) That’s what it feels like. It feels like people are drunk. They’re not staying in lanes.It’s really they’re texting while they’re driving, right? (37:11) But I’m saying it’s it seems like they’re drunk. I’m not saying I’m not very distracted, you know (37:16) So or they’re just out of control. They don’t even know I I found myself going (37:21) Faster than I should have without even realizing it.I’m like whoa cuz and I never go that speed (37:27) So it was weird. It’s like getting on a highway again emerging again (37:31) Like you know, like but with ourself I’d hate to say selfishness, but it’s kind of our selfishness, right? (37:37) It’s hard to now integrate again, but it’s also I believe right now that I believe there’s a lot less (37:43) highway patrol I (37:46) True well, they’re downtown. Yeah, there is the protests going on so that they have been redirected (37:52) I I do understand that but I I mean I took during the entire pandemic (37:58) You know two and a half months where we were locked down or stay-at-home orders, etc.You know, I (38:05) Still took my bike out at least once a week twice a week (38:08) Just just early in the morning just to make sure the engine would run and yeah just a half hour and there was (38:14) No, please no cops (38:17) No, I would patrol none (38:20) so (38:22) That has nothing to do with courtesy or respect (38:27) Welcome to tangents 2.0. Ladies and gentlemen (38:31) Was that a real quick or was that our tangents? (38:35) Not sure real quick to that too. I like it (38:38) That’s interesting. So (38:40) Circling back.Yes (38:42) Back to respect one point I had was (38:48) I (38:50) Don’t know where I learned it or (38:53) If it’s my own (38:56) philosophy or if my dad somehow mentioned to me or (39:00) I’ve had bosses in the past that (39:06) One in particular my last job (39:09) Great dude bad boss bad manager (39:13) Previous job to that just bad person and bad boss (39:18) But I had to respect the position. I had to respect the title. Yeah director of (39:24) Well, you had to know that where your breads buttered, right? So I didn’t respect (39:29) those two gentlemen as (39:32) People (39:33) But I respected their title right and when they told me to do something I did it right or I would say (39:40) As I did as I do now, I would say (39:43) Okay (39:44) However, we could do it this way.There’s other alternatives (39:47) Here’s your options. Here’s this we could did it a did a what would how would you want to do it different or not? (39:54) Would you still like to do it your way or whatever, you know? (39:56) I didn’t respect them as people because they were pricks when one was a prick Bob you fuck (40:02) Sorry (40:04) So (40:05) So (40:08) But um (40:10) Did you use last name John no, I’m just kidding (40:14) John what a fuck. Anyway, see that’s even better.You don’t even know another dude was great guy (40:20) But shitty boss. Yeah, he shouldn’t have been put in the position he was in and that’s not all his fault (40:27) So I get I get what you’re saying (40:29) Some people aren’t designed to be managed. You know what? They’re not managerial people, correct? (40:35) So it’s type person.I did respect him as a person (40:39) But he didn’t do a good job. How about you respect him as a person but not as a worker, correct? (40:44) He was not he was not a good employee (40:46) Yeah, I buy for Kate the two my personal and work life are very very 180 (40:51) so I had I had to kind of differentiate that in my mind of (40:55) You know (40:56) I have to do what this person tells me because they’re my boss but and I respect their title and there’s been the number of (41:02) Executives that I’ve had to work with VPs and CIOs and shit that I’ve had to work with that were pieces of shit (41:09) And it talked that talked down to me and belittled me. I (41:14) mean (41:15) Yeah (41:17) dozens dozens (41:18) But I had to respect their title and I had to respect what they asked me to do or there I had hey (41:24) What do you think about this idea? And even though it was dumbest fucking thing ever, but yes, sir.Yes, ma’am (41:29) Of course, right, right, you know (41:33) But I didn’t respect the person because they talked down to me. Yeah, you still follow the definition (41:38) It’s deep admiration for well, it was a title. It was a position (41:42) It wasn’t for the and for the job getting done.It was a deep is a deep respect of that part (41:48) You know the deep admiration. Yeah, so it was a it was a (41:51) Philosophy that I mean, I don’t even know your call philosophy (41:54) But it was something that I had to come to terms with it. Like fuck.I don’t like this fucking dude, right? (41:58) But I had to respect the title because they were I know they weren’t signing the checks (42:04) But they could determine the path of my career if they wanted to absolutely plus (42:08) Plus just having respect for the titles a good thing because you know what needs to get done (42:12) Yeah, and you get still have courtesy and if you see him in the personal life, you’re like fuck you Bob (42:17) But I’ll hold a door for you John (42:18) I know I was trying to help you out, bro (42:21) Cuz I know you change you forgot his name and I was trying to stay because you said you shouldn’t have said it (42:24) Yeah, well, you know on that cats out of back fuck you John Robert (42:29) Jonathan Roberts John (42:32) Jones (42:34) Smith Robinson seen seniors third junior (42:41) Well, that’s been courtesy and respect boys, uh, there’s another point I do want another point go (42:46) I thought I was talking to Alpha Alpha Canada will about this (42:52) from the taxi (42:53) Yes, and he made a point about (42:58) In the new and I’m possibly may regret bring this up but in the new age we’re in now of (43:07) Empowerment and equality and (43:13) chivalry the (43:14) Chivalrous movement that’s gone in the ways of the past (43:19) Do certain women no longer want doors open for them because they want to be treated equally (43:26) Yes (43:28) But there’s inherent to have it both ways. I believe it is a very slippery slope. Hence why I even (43:35) Was like well, I don’t know if I should bring it up, man (43:39) You just dropped the bomb on me, sir (43:40) Cuz I could directly tell you exactly how I feel but please tell me how you so I and I told will I said I (43:47) and he he thought I (43:50) Think he thought I didn’t understand what he’s saying.I said no, dude. I get it (43:54) I understand exactly what you’re saying and I don’t care (43:58) When I’m going up to a door and someone is two steps behind me. I don’t care (44:04) What gender they are what age they are? What color they are? What weight they are? What height they are? (44:10) What religion they are? I’m gonna hold the door for them.And if they think that I’m being (44:15) Chivalrous or I’m not being chivalrous or if I’m being I don’t give a fuck. I’m gonna hold the door because that’s who I am (44:23) You know if they interpret that as me being a male chauvinist pig (44:29) That’s their interpretation. That’s them being offended by me trying to be kind.I (44:35) Can’t control them. I can only control (44:39) me (44:40) Trying to (44:42) Do something nice for another human being a two-second gesture (44:47) We’re having a 10-minute conversation about a two-second gesture. Do you understand that shit? That’s fucking stupid by the way (44:53) well, it’s it can change the world man, because if we (44:57) Have a conversation about this a butterfly effect and people well if this catches on and people go (45:03) Oh, yeah, maybe I should just I don’t need to like you at all to just be a human to you (45:09) Yeah, I don’t I don’t care man.If you’re Muslim or Jewish or well the thing is I don’t care to your point (45:15) What you do is what you do you open the door first person doesn’t say anything you open the door (45:21) They look the second person looks at you third person slaps you in the face (45:25) Fourth time you have a choice. Yeah in the door or not. Yeah to you to your point.I’m opening the door (45:31) Yeah, absolutely. And and when I what I do now is (45:34) when (45:35) We’ll come back to Will’s point but um or not whatever we will oh dear jeez (45:40) so what I do now is the will actually you so when I hold the door for someone and (45:46) They don’t say thank you. I (45:49) Say you’re welcome.I have done that before because I don’t know (45:55) Maybe that’s just satisfying my own ego or it’s both. Maybe it’s you know (46:01) The I wasn’t given the courtesy back (46:04) That I showed them correct as another human breathing being right now (46:09) You feel you’re on the bottom side of the power curve. Well, it’s not even about no, no, it’s not power (46:14) But you understand it’s like you were the oppressor or the oppressee.I know I I know I I know (46:20) I’m trying to be words are not accurate. Let me use it’s very loose very loose and now I know (46:25) Analogically, I guess algae so you are the person who? (46:30) You should receive as you give it should be equal. Absolutely, right? (46:35) It’s not unless you’re a deaf mute and give me some sign language, bro.Fuck. Yeah, or wave (46:41) But basically you hold the door now, you’re like, what am I your fucking door holder? (46:44) Fuck you cuz that’s how you feel. That’s how I felt before when someone doesn’t even acknowledge (46:50) Yeah, like you at the restaurant with the people.Yes, I would have said you’re welcome, right? And I have said that fuckers (46:55) Yes, I’ve no for real. No, I get it. I don’t have the common fucking decency (47:00) To acknowledge another human being for doing a decent right simple act.What kind of person are you? (47:08) You should you’re what you’re piece of shit (47:12) May I be you can do whatever the fuck you want (47:16) Okay, not anything you want. No, I can’t. Okay, go trust me (47:21) It (47:23) Is it just saying you’re welcome? (47:26) Inflate your ego.It just satisfies you the reason I say that I (47:31) Think you also want it to kind of be stingy to them (47:34) So they recognize it but if you have a philosophy and someone just comes at you and goes opposite (47:41) You’re much less likely to even listen or adopt any of that (47:47) I (47:48) Don’t understand. So by saying you’re welcome. They’re just like well, fuck you.I’m not ever gonna say (47:53) Thank you again, because this guy’s a fucking dick about me not saying. Thank you (47:57) It almost makes them be more like themselves. Correct? You’re just kind of they dig their heels because you are now confronting them (48:04) In that instant, there’s no other way though to go.Excuse me. Excuse me father father this family this beautiful family (48:12) Could I talk to you for a second, you know, I’m I don’t know is that how you do it like go (48:17) You here’s your four children your beautiful wife (48:22) You know, I was kind enough to hold the door for you because because you’re you have a family (48:27) I I just want to pay a common courtesy doing a fellow human being and (48:31) Just say, you know, not a single person said thank you. I mean who who does that fall upon? (48:36) You know, why can’t we be that way? I (48:42) Comes in with a full family like we’re all from different backgrounds.I mean family isn’t really a thing anymore the way it (48:49) Traditionally used to be I mean people would stay together when they hated each other (48:52) Yeah, yeah now people are just people divorce and they like each other. It’s like really fucking weird (48:58) Really weird, but you know what I’m saying? Like it’s all good (49:01) Three years. No, but like that’s how it is, right? So, I mean, I’m all I’m solutions oriented.So, how do we do this? (49:08) How do we how do we that’s a good point pull the data side and beat the fuck out of them? (49:16) Yes, yeah just fucking pound them pour some salad all of them in his face we do like a breadstick (49:23) couple baskets (49:25) Like make nunchucks out of it. Yes nunchuck breadsticks (49:28) They could kill my bread. I’ve had one of those og breadsticks.Yes (49:33) I’ve also had a soft one, but I was at a hard one (49:37) That’s my breadstick when they contextually when they quote that when they cut that into I have I have had a soft one and a (49:43) hard one (49:44) I’m oh, it’s over. My whole career as a podcaster is over (49:49) So to get back we’re talking about breadsticks, right we were yeah, okay, but you know (49:55) Context context is kind of everything (49:58) And then unless I can say breadsticks while I’m saying soft and hard like over top of it (50:02) Like a watermark like a vocal like an audio watermark (50:07) Then we’re screwed (50:11) soft hard screwed (50:13) So guys be nice to each other just be courteous just so courtesy. Can you read that again, please? (50:19) Can you do you want to go back to the slippery slope? Yes, we will go back to that.So there’s two pieces at work (50:27) Yeah, I’m you’re right alfalfa will bring them back. What’s the problem readdress the issue alfalfa? (50:33) Canada will said in the today’s age of (50:37) the new age of where we are where we’re going of I (50:43) Don’t I mean I could try to find it. I know what you mean.It’s I (50:51) To sum up I think is what he’s saying is women’s equality (50:54) Yeah, and what would a woman get upset because you’re holding the door for her because she believes (51:01) That’s a sign of male chauvinism. Yes, that’s that’s happened to me (51:05) Okay, I could share a story about okay (51:09) in my dating life of (51:12) Which there was a lot I (51:15) Know I just was persistent. I work really fucking hard man.I played the numbers game (51:21) I got like 1% of the fucking messages back (51:24) You know what I’m saying? (51:25) But over my I did a lot of online dating probably 150 to 200 first dates (51:31) Like no joke and then it whittled I mean went down to like 30 second dates from that (51:35) I got a huge drop-off, but we need a spreadsheet during I wish I wrote every fucking day down (51:41) I would have the best coffee like sex in the desert. You know what I’d be. Yeah, it would be HBO special (51:46) I’d fucking have a best-selling max.It wouldn’t be HBO (51:49) Softborn no, bro. Yeah, okay sex in the desert. I like a little Marky Mark (51:56) Sex in I don’t know how what rhymes with city (52:01) whatever (52:03) Regardless ill supposedly (52:08) Hold the door open open the car door for the one I got (52:14) looks I (52:15) Got I don’t need that (52:17) I’ve also gotten thank yous.Don’t get me wrong. I’ve gotten I’ve let me put it this way run the gamut (52:22) I’ve run the spectrum from (52:25) Wow, no one’s ever held a door for me before a car door (52:29) To like to like suspicion and like I don’t need you (52:33) So I’ve got I run that whole thing pulling out a chair I (52:38) Can get my own chair. I (52:40) brought flowers to someone and I got this this the weirdest reaction because (52:44) My courtesy that’s just where I came, you know from where I came.It’s just hey bring a flat bring flowers. It’s nice. I (52:51) It shows my interest in you.It shows that I (52:55) When I see these I think of I thought of you thoughtful. Yes, so those are just nice things and (53:01) I got I’ve gotten all those different reactions and it’s really interesting, but it is a true thing (53:07) I can understand that if you felt when I say oppressive impressor, right when you felt oppressed or held down as a woman (53:15) You’re you know perceivably your entire life (53:18) Perception. I don’t know right everyone’s stories different but as a whole misogyny is a thing right as a whole the patriarchy is a thing (53:28) Once you get that empowerment I could see the I don’t know if backlash isn’t the right word (53:33) But the reaction being I’m very independent (53:37) but I think (53:38) Approaching it the way like and then in a way like I got it is not the right way more like (53:43) Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m a strong independent woman.I can get my own door (53:49) That I think that would solve both problems (53:51) Why? (53:52) Yeah (53:54) Wait, why can’t it be a strong independent person? (53:57) Or should I not even ask that question no say that again, why can’t the response be I’m a strong independent person. Oh (54:04) It’s can be. Yeah, it’s just in general.I’m sorry. I just (54:08) It’s not your fault. I’m just saying (54:10) Yes, it can be any instance.I mean look, let’s be honest. You’ve not you have not (54:17) Not held a door (54:19) Because it was a man. Correct.I don’t give a shit, right? So in that case, dude, I’m not gonna hold the door (54:24) Right in that case that is certainly on the woman. Well, unless he’s got like a gun. He’s gonna rob the place (54:29) There I believe there’s extenuating circumstances (54:33) but the woman might think like that was your way of (54:38) Controlling it away when you do it for everybody.She might not even know she does (54:41) Yeah, it could be her ignorance and not in ignorance in a bad way. Just uninformed, correct? And (54:47) That’s where you go for from there’s like I hold the door for everyone. I pull out chairs.I open car doors (54:51) I bring flowers this this is kind of who I am. It’s out of courtesy for you. It’s not to (54:58) Hold anyone down.I don’t expect anything in return. This is because of my thoughtfulness. This is my nature (55:05) This is my this is my nature (55:06) Don’t you don’t have to call it thoughtful because now you’re sounding like you’re upping yourself, right? (55:10) Like this is my nature.I hold doors and I hold doors. I’m a year and a half into a relationship (55:16) I still hold the car door every time I think one time I missed I was like kicking myself in the head forever (55:21) I was just in a weird she forgiven you yet. She’s the most forgiving person.She forgives me (55:27) She was gonna hold your balls to the fire. She’s forgiving for (55:30) Being here, bro. I mean, come on like (55:34) She should have run along (55:36) But the truth is like that’s that’s the courtesy how they take it is on them to your point, yeah, that’s yeah (55:43) I didn’t really realize that until you asked me the question that it’s not (55:48) It’s not my (55:51) What I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do and if it’s somebody else’s reaction to be offended (55:55) I can’t control that and I had never had that thought until you asked the question (55:59) Yeah (56:00) That’s a very good point.Well, I’m glad we got to talk to cover that. Yeah, we cover the (56:07) Empowerment thing. Yeah, I think so.I mean we can you can (56:13) Hello Twitter world did we answer alpha alpha wills question (56:18) Leave your comments below you did say it’s a slippery slope and I know we could talk about that for an hour (56:23) We could we can we’re fucking to but our two days (56:26) I mean we could be like honestly, you and I could sit in a room and just be like horse night. Yeah (56:32) Somebody to bring us coffee every hour. Yeah, little IV drip.I like it stuff. So are we gonna close it out? (56:39) Do you want to reread these again? Yeah, let’s do it (56:40) We’re gonna we’re gonna read the the definitions again. Once again guys.Hello to the world be courteous. Do you really? (56:46) Have to be a dick. Don’t be a dick.Don’t be a dick 20 20 minute dick, bro (56:51) a simple thing not always easy, but focus (56:55) focus (56:57) Once again courtesy the showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior towards others (57:05) Like hold the door (57:07) Respect a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities qualities or achievements (57:14) All right, so we don’t need to respect you to be courteous (57:19) Courtesy is like the base thing we should be (57:22) Yeah, it’s like decencies. It’s kind of how I see it (57:25) Yeah, well, I mean you you don’t walk by a dog and kick it. No shit.You just walk cuz they’re awesome (57:31) Yeah, you pet it or you walk by it. Those are the two that I would (57:36) Look I’m not a dog bird, but I still don’t kick it (57:39) Door bro, I don’t kick it bro. Oh, I know that well peace love and soul we covered (57:46) Courtesy verse respect sir.Yes, we’re gonna eat burgers now (57:49) We’re gonna eat some dogs and we are going to partake in the beautiful wine that you brought and water dots (57:55) Oh and tater tots and look at the beautiful flowers. You brought sir. Thank you so much for joining us.We’ll be back soon (58:02) Knocked (58:03) Conscious dot-com. Hey, sir. I know we’re doing some pretty serious ones.Well, let’s let’s get back to (58:10) Thanks, man, love you guys peace love and soul