In this enlightening interview, Mr. Verdickt, a qualified hypnotherapist specializing in Lucid Dreaming and Systemic Constellation, explores the profound power of the subconscious mind and dreams in uncovering the truth on a personal level. His unique approach combines modern modalities with African wisdom, which includes the crucial role of community and nature in overcoming personal and societal issues. African wisdom, which includes the crucial role of community and nature in overcoming personal and societal issues.

Throughout the conversation, Mr. Verdickt introduces powerful African wisdom teachings that emphasize the importance of honouring our ancestors as a path forward to overcome some of the Western societal issues such as victimhood mindset, narcissism, divisive ideologies, and the rise of authoritarian regimes.

Mr. Verdickt presents a path forward rooted in unity, truth, and personal empowerment. He highlights how African wisdom can serve as a powerful antidote to societal deception, the attack on free speech, and growing isolation.

Key Topics in This Video:

Lucid Dreaming: Harnessing the Power of Your Dreams for Self-Healing
Subconscious Mind: Unlocking the Truth Within
Systemic Constellation: Understanding Your Inner World and Relationships
African Wisdom: Healing Through Community and Connection to Nature
Healing the West: Overcoming Victimhood, Divisive Ideologies, Free Speech, Community Healing and Growing Isolation
Journey to the truth

To know more about Mr Verdickt’s work:

https://theverdickttherapy.substack.com/p/if-victimhood-is-an-addition-we-all-need-an-intervention

https://theverdickttherapy.substack.com/p/im-not-black-i-am-african-and-that-aint-the-same

https://theverdickttherapy.substack.com/p/my-preferred-pronouns-are-common-sense

https://theverdickttherapy.substack.com/p/no-pride-no-shame-and-no-intimacy

https://theverdickttherapy.substack.com/p/yes-you-can-sit-with-us

Outro: ”Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight” – This score is in public domain and may be freely downloaded, printed, and performed. The sound file may be downloaded for personal use. For more information see https://lincolnlibraries.org/polley-music-library/

Transcript:

(0:00) Hey, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Knocked Conscious. (0:04) Today, I had the pleasure of speaking with Mr. Verdict. (0:08) It’s a very interesting conversation.(0:10) Here it is. I hope you enjoy it. (0:12) Hello, everyone.(0:14) Welcome to another episode of Knocked Conscious. (0:16) I have Mr. Verdict, the founder of the Verdict Therapy on the other side. (0:23) Mr. Verdict, you had reached out to me on my Knocked Conscious website.(0:27) Welcome to Knocked Conscious. (0:29) Thank you. Thank you for hosting me on your show.(0:33) It’s a pleasure. (0:34) It’s also a bit of a difficult exercise to always come to big shows like yours (0:40) when you’ve spoken to very good and important people. (0:43) So, yeah, I just come very humble and very excited to have a very nice conversation with you.(0:50) So I think I’m just going to introduce myself because I don’t think many people know me. (0:56) So I come with the name of Mr. Verdict. (0:59) So I’m proud to get my name out because Verdict is a very powerful name.(1:05) Generally, people know about it because they hear, oh, if they go to the tribunal, (1:11) if they have a case, they would hear the word Verdict. (1:14) But Verdict is a Latin name, which means Ver, Veritas, so the truth, (1:19) and Dict, Dicere, which means to say, so basically to say the truth. (1:24) And I, because I was looking for a name about how I want to be introduced generally.(1:29) Do I want to have my name, my full name? (1:31) But I tend to think, you know, when you are out there, it’s you give everything. (1:37) But it’s also good to keep something private for yourself. (1:40) But I think I wanted to be like to come across with my full name.(1:44) Well, my family name, which has been given to me, (1:47) especially in this crazy time where we live. (1:50) You know, there are a lot of things going on. (1:51) Some people call that conspiracy theory.(1:54) Some people call that misinformation. (1:56) Some people call it whatever. (1:57) And I think we are really at a time of a need for truth.(2:03) The truth of the big team never really exists, but at least being clear, (2:09) being factually correct and not being polluted by propaganda (2:13) or being polluted by limited beliefs. (2:17) So Mr. Verdict is also my persona as a therapist (2:20) because I am an hypnotherapist and I use different type of modalities, (2:24) such as hypnosis, which was which is my first modalities. (2:28) But I kind of gain others, such as lucid dreaming, (2:31) which is getting more popularity, especially in the US and the UK.(2:36) We’ve got a couple of nice people specializing in that, (2:39) but also systemic constellation or African wisdom, (2:42) because it’s a very big topic about constellation, where it’s coming from. (2:46) And sometimes people don’t really know that it’s actually generated from Africa. (2:50) So I think with those three modalities, you know, (2:52) I think it’s always about how to get to the sense of truth (2:55) when I speak to my client through subconscious, through their dreams, (2:58) but also through the invisible.(3:01) So, yeah, this is why I was kind of interested to speak to you, (3:04) who is a while you are a man of so many topics, so much knowledge. (3:08) And I was like, (3:10) it’s not because I don’t have knowledge. (3:12) I seek knowledge.I’m curious. (3:14) I am not I am not anything but curious. (3:17) So I’ll say I’ll happily take that as a badge of honor that I know nothing, (3:21) but I seek everything.So I’m happy to do that. (3:24) I do have opinions, of course, just like we all do. (3:27) But so welcome.And I did see that with Verdict. (3:30) And the second I saw that with speaking the truth, I was a Veritas. (3:33) I went right to Veritas.(3:34) And I started this about four years ago, (3:38) a little bit longer than four years ago, four and a half years ago or so. (3:41) But it was more about just seeking truth. (3:43) It has nothing to do I I’m OK with people’s beliefs.(3:47) But if you understand from where they came (3:51) and don’t lie to yourself about that, if you can be honest (3:54) and transparent about how you got to your belief, (3:58) that’s how we that’s where truth lies. (4:01) And I think a lot of people make they find they come up with an idea (4:06) and then they rationalize it backwards from the from the (4:10) from the thought that they have. Right.(4:11) So they have a feeling about something. (4:13) More of a feeling. (4:14) And then they try to rationalize what they why they feel, (4:17) what they feel about a topic, if that makes sense.(4:21) Yeah, it does. (4:22) Seeking the truth from the bottom, from the ground up and, you know, (4:25) in an emergent way. (4:28) Yeah.And I think I don’t know who said that, but the biggest (4:32) form of sufferings come the lie that we tell to ourself. (4:36) I don’t know who said that, but I’m sure someone. (4:38) That is a famous saying.(4:40) It’s a famous saying. (4:41) But the thing is, whenever you see people having a breakdown or people (4:45) who have their marriage, like going to divorce is generally (4:49) because they told themselves lies, you know, they make up their self (4:52) something like a facade or a lie to which they have been sold, (4:57) because people don’t really lie to themselves by like this. (5:00) Generally, as you said, you know, you are giving a lie (5:03) or you are giving a false story.(5:05) And this is why I like when you say you are seeking for the truth. (5:07) And I think it’s very powerful because sometimes the truth, it’s not there. (5:12) And I think there is a guy, I forgot his name.(5:14) I’m not really good with names. I’m sorry about that. (5:16) But it’s OK.It’s about the information. (5:19) It’s about we credit. (5:20) I can be honest.(5:22) I bet you everything that could be said has been said somewhere, somehow. (5:25) So we’re just here about sharing the information. (5:27) If we can accredit it properly.Absolutely. (5:30) But no, absolutely. (5:31) But I think it was (5:33) I remember because it’s a French Canadian guy (5:36) and he was explaining how people can get to this (5:41) lie living.(5:42) And he said, you know, what kind of information do you have (5:45) and generate information that you’ve got? (5:46) Yeah, I’ve learned from school or I saw it on television or in a movie. (5:52) And he said, did you pay for this information? (5:54) And everybody’s like, of course not. I didn’t pay for it.(5:57) And he said, if you’ve got something you didn’t pay, how do you call that? (6:00) And everybody was like, maybe you have stolen that. (6:03) And if something is not yours that you gain and that you build something on, (6:07) you are stealing this information. (6:09) And, you know, whatever you acquire, you know, in not honest way (6:12) might just not give you what you expect.(6:15) And I think it’s important, you know, just as you said, not to know the truth (6:18) or to have the truth, but to seeking for information. (6:21) Because the more you seek, the more you obtain and the more you gain (6:24) and the more you gain something, you can really own that. (6:27) And I think this is also something that people are missing, (6:30) especially with social media.(6:31) You know how much information is being pushed to you. (6:33) It’s not information that you acquire. (6:35) And then you will hear people using, oh, but I’ve seen that.(6:38) Oh, I heard that. (6:39) But does it really actually make it your information, your point of view? (6:44) And I think this is why you can easily for not in limiting beliefs (6:47) that you hear sometimes in therapy or something like this that, you know, (6:50) because you’ve got this limiting belief, you cannot just be your true self or whatever. (6:54) But it’s more like a limiting information.(6:56) You know, you are kind of being trapped in someone else’s vision. (7:00) And I think, you know, seeking for information is the key (7:03) if you are looking for the truth. (7:05) It’s why when I go with my clients, you know, they are looking for (7:09) not necessarily the truth, but at least the source of their problems.(7:12) So I really like lucid dreaming, hypnotherapy, (7:15) because you are not just basing on what you say (7:18) and generally what you say, what you see can be super deceitful. (7:21) You know, just like, you know, do you actually say what you think (7:24) or do you say what you have seen and what you have absorbed (7:26) and what you acquired in a stolen way? (7:28) So quite like this idea of seeking for the truth. (7:33) Yeah, it it is important.(7:35) And what what I like to do is I like to even counter myself. (7:39) So I if I have a viewpoint, I will put on countering. (7:45) Countering viewpoints to see if I can be compelled to change my mind.(7:49) Like I mentioned, for example, I mentioned the Michael Jackson thing. (7:52) I mentioned I spoke with Taj for three hours. (7:55) I was on the I did.(7:57) I thought he was absolutely guilty watching, you know, (8:01) after seeing certain things and being compelled. (8:03) But then I watched this other information and I dug deeper (8:06) and then I started reading how the truth actually is that it is not (8:11) exactly how it seems on the surface. (8:14) Certainly not that I’m not going to go as far as to tell you anything else.(8:17) But my personal belief, I’ve actually been compelled to change (8:20) my opinion about his allegations, which for me takes a lot. (8:24) I will admit, but many of us have that challenge to do that as well. (8:29) And what’s funny is when they come to you to seek the truth, (8:31) I think they need to be told what they can’t tell themselves.(8:36) And that’s why they seek someone like yourself. (8:38) And I think that I think your position is very important. (8:40) I thought I had an issue.(8:42) I was seeking mental health at 40. (8:44) I saw a neuro linguistic programmer. (8:47) So when you speak of hypnosis and hypnotherapy, (8:49) I didn’t go the traditional psychotherapy route.(8:51) I didn’t use a psychiatrist or a psychologist. (8:53) I went neuro linguistic programming. (8:55) So I went a very different route.(8:57) I think similar to what the way you are trying to seek these truths. (9:00) So I’d love for you to tell me a little bit about some of your disciplines (9:04) or some of the things you’d like to share about what you do. (9:07) Yeah, I think it is interesting to see how people (9:12) are trying different types of other modalities.(9:16) And now you can hear different type of therapy because kinesiology, (9:19) which is a muscle testing, which are kind of trying to learn. (9:22) You’ve got water therapy. (9:25) So it’s like basically trying to get your body in a pool (9:28) and to try to do some kind of movement that you might have done (9:31) where you were in your mom’s womb.(9:33) You’ve got obviously plant therapy that can be like the ayahuasca (9:38) or can be very, (9:41) very strong. You know, I’ve done that in the past. (9:44) And I think especially millennials, we are really looking for something (9:48) which can give us emotion or very high intensity emotion (9:53) in order to get the truth.(9:54) And I think sometimes we get a bit caught out because the traditional (9:58) psychotherapy, which is based on, you know, it’s a talking therapy, (10:01) which is very powerful because obviously the truth can set you free. (10:05) In general, the truth is coming out of your mouth. (10:08) And it is very powerful.(10:10) But through my learning and through the experience I’ve got with clients, (10:14) I just realized that, you know, (10:16) going through the body and going through subconscious is even more powerful. (10:20) You know, (10:23) just using the words to describe what has traumatized you (10:27) and just explain it over and over and over again can just get you so far. (10:33) Having the opportunity just to go through your dreams, you know, (10:36) or just using your dreams, you know, as a therapy form is very powerful.(10:41) But just to answer your question, you know, (10:42) using lucid dreaming as a therapeutic approach is very powerful because once (10:47) you are in a dreaming mode, (10:49) your brain will not make the difference between what is real and what is a dream. (10:54) Your brain is like, Oh, I’m activated. (10:58) This is real.(11:00) And when you get to this stage, (11:01) when you are able to be lucid within your dream and being like, okay, (11:05) I can recognize this scene. I can recognize what I’m saying. (11:08) I know this is not possible.It must be a dream. (11:11) When you have the ability to be real or to be actually lucid in your dream, (11:16) you can accomplish whatever you want. Obviously you can just, you can just fly.(11:20) You can bring back someone from the death. (11:22) You can just bring someone of celebrity. You can just fly.(11:25) You can do so much, so much powerful things, some crazy things. (11:28) You can mold it. Yeah.You can, you can shape it. (11:31) Yeah. You’re not constrained by physical laws.You know, (11:35) there is no law basically. Once you’re in your dreams, (11:37) it’s the same thing when you, I don’t know if you’ve seen this movie of, (11:40) so a lot of people have seen it, but nightmare on M street, uh, chapter three. (11:44) I was going to use the one inception.It’s kind of that same way, right? (11:48) Where they go in and they manipulate the dreams and make you start thinking (11:51) things. And I’ve never seen this movie, but everyone say, Oh, (11:55) if you’re in the neuro, yes, it’s well worth it. It’s, (11:58) if you’re familiar with Christopher Nolan’s work, Batman with the Batman one, (12:02) with, uh, with what’s his name.He’s done all like some of the darker interstellar. (12:06) I think he did as well, but this is, (12:08) it’s one of the good ones where it’s like a dream within a dream. (12:11) So it’s very meta in that weird way where you really get into that (12:16) crux of how it functions underneath.Right. (12:19) Yeah. But, but, but from a therapeutical point of view, once, you know, (12:23) a patient is able to, I never going to say master because you don’t, (12:28) so can you explain a little bit of, (12:29) could you explain a little bit about lucid dreaming? Is it, (12:32) is it when you go to sleep that when you enter the dream state, (12:36) you train yourself to be aware that you’re entering the dream to then that (12:40) dream? (12:42) Exactly.It’s as simple as that. You know, there are a couple of techniques, (12:45) you know, that you can do on a daily basis so that you are a bit more aware. (12:49) One of them comes from breathing, you know, (12:52) people could have mindfulness or meditation, but it’s just, (12:55) just to be more aware in your conscious life.Very simple, you know, (13:00) that you can do. Um, another technique is just, you have a, a dreaming diary, (13:04) you know, just taking the habit of writing what you know, (13:08) what you have dreamt about, you know, just the sensation, (13:11) doesn’t need to be like a novel, but just a sensation, a couple of scene, (13:15) you know, are there recurring themes, are there coming things that you do, (13:19) you know, and then the trick is, Oh, this is a dream. (13:23) My first lucid dream, actually, I wasn’t aware it was a lucid dream, (13:26) but I was aware it was a dream.So basically, um, I was in jail. Uh, (13:31) I was accused to have killed a couple of people. I’m like, but hang on a second.(13:35) I don’t know those people. I wasn’t there. I know that day I wasn’t there.No, (13:39) no, no. You killed those people. And you know, (13:41) I was taken by the cops, thrown in a jail, um, in a cell.I’m like, (13:45) but this is crazy. But the thing is, (13:47) I was not worried because someone said, no, (13:49) you’re going to spend the rest of your life in jail. (13:52) But I was not worried because I knew it wasn’t, this is something weird.(13:56) And the guy said, you can say this is weird, (13:59) but you’re going to stay there for the rest of your life. And I said, (14:01) check me out. I’m going to wake up right now.And I said, that is it. (14:05) And then I woke up. And when I woke up, I’m like, damn, I’m good.(14:10) I can’t, I left myself out of the situation, which is completely crazy. (14:14) And I was like, and at the time I didn’t know the word lucid dreaming. (14:18) I knew that I have done something, which is, (14:23) it was a bit odd.And then during COVID, I think like many people, (14:28) I kind of started like doing more research and I get interested about the (14:32) science of sleep, how powerful it is, especially in, you know, (14:37) I live in the UK and no disrespect to our doctors, what we call GPs, (14:42) but they are very limited in their knowledge in general about how they don’t (14:46) even have time for, you know, to take care of people. (14:49) They were limited in knowledge over a four year span recently, (14:51) if I recall correctly, but you know, whatever. (14:54) How is it in the US? Is it pretty much the same thing? Do you have like, (14:57) well-trained doctor? Yeah.You’re worse. Okay. (15:00) I mean, it’s very hard to explain because the system’s now been taken over (15:05) by much more social and other issues than (15:10) competency.So it’s not, it’s not, it’s not that I’m a doctor. (15:15) It’s that I’m a female person of color doctor, (15:19) and that’s very competent. (15:22) I know many female people of color who are doctors, (15:26) but that doesn’t qualify one to be a doctor.Yeah. You know what I mean? (15:30) The desire, the qualifications to be a doctor is to know your, your skill. (15:35) And I think that the institutions such as the pharmaceutical (15:39) companies have completely captured all of the (15:44) medical institutions or else we wouldn’t have seen science (15:50) not, you know, not be allowed to be, uh, (15:53) questioned during the COVID epidemic.(15:56) So if I may just a quick transparency, I’m, I’m diabetic type two diabetic, (16:01) but I did not vaccinate and I refused to vaccinate. (16:06) So I took care of my blood sugar. I got, I took vitamin D every day.(16:10) I supplemented. (16:11) I did the things that I thought as much as I could control my health, (16:16) you know, weight loss, blood sugars, you know, vitamin D, (16:20) things like that supplementation. I got COVID twice breeze right through it.(16:24) And, and I know that some people died. I do. (16:28) It was an awful thing that happened, (16:29) but it wasn’t to the numbers that they pushed.And to your point, those, those, (16:33) all those ideas that we have about COVID as a general population are not our (16:38) thoughts. (16:38) The ones that I have are the ones that I’ve had to dig and find the paperwork and (16:43) find out this other stuff, you know, and I don’t want to get too deep in it. (16:46) Cause it’s not about that.It’s about what you do. But to your point, (16:50) all the propaganda was just fed from one side. (16:53) And when the people who have the resources to pump the propaganda, (16:58) they can shape the narrative how they wish.(17:00) And when we’re that busy with our lives, we just hear something. I heard this, (17:05) I heard that. Why would you think that someone’s actively lying to you? (17:10) You just think you heard it, right? You just, you know, (17:13) you think it’s part of the conversation.(17:16) No. And I think the link is really about people seeking for the (17:21) truth. And obviously, whenever you’re trying to think for something, (17:25) you’re also trying to auto-medicate.(17:26) Now more and more people try to do things by themselves, (17:30) but trying to auto-medicate themselves is also a big thing. (17:33) That’s why you say dreaming is, is so powerful. Um, a lot of the people… (17:37) Even microdosing is a thing now.Yeah. (17:40) Microdosing. What’s that? (17:42) Microdosing is like using little psilocybin mushroom throughout the day.(17:45) Very small. Yeah. So it might be something, it might be an American thing.(17:50) With all, you know, that there’s this weird, (17:53) independent kind of movement in America right now with the podcasting and some (17:57) things where these people are kind of taking their health in their own hands, (18:00) not letting authority tell them what to do. (18:03) Yeah. Because there is no, and that’s just the difference.You know, (18:07) you might, it’s like, you never have the truth with a capital T. (18:10) You don’t have one health. Health is so subjective. (18:13) You might react to a drug or to a plant or to a treatment or to a therapy (18:18) differently.You know, this is why you will never have that. (18:21) This is why this whole world health organization, (18:25) why do we have one health? I don’t believe so. You know, this is why it’s so (18:29) subjective.It’s so personalized. (18:31) No one can have the same treatment for everything. But I think you’re right.(18:34) People need to seek information about how they can, um, (18:38) I’m not going to say cure because it’s not possible. (18:41) There is no, no, no. We need to manage our health as best we can.(18:45) Take responsibility because it’s no one else is going to be responsible for your (18:49) own health and yourself. So, and I think you will see more and more people, (18:53) but this is what you might see a lot of the downside of it is people, you know, (18:58) pretending that they can cure, they can heal you, (19:01) they can sell you like snake oil. And that can also be the downside of it, (19:05) you know, of having this decentralized health system, you know, (19:09) because you can see that, you know, on social media or everywhere.(19:12) Now everyone is a guru of everything. You know, (19:15) people have done like two weeks training on something and they can just sell you (19:18) anything. But, you know, we need to also have consideration, (19:21) whether it’s for mental health or physical health, you know, (19:25) people have done some training.So, you know, (19:27) we are allowed to give a feedback and opinion on the fact that, you know, (19:31) for me it was very shocking to hear that the GP in the UK only have two hours (19:35) training on, on sleep. And I was like, but this is crazy. (19:38) A third of our lives is spent whilst we’re sleeping.(19:41) Why don’t we spend more time on it? (19:43) This is a difference between having an observation, which is based on fact, (19:48) than just pretending that, you know, because I’ve done the training in whatever, (19:51) I can just start like acting like a GP. They have a place. (19:55) Right.This is the problem. (19:56) We feel we can do stuff and we don’t reason certain things. (20:01) Okay.So to go back to, to the lucid dreaming point, (20:07) people, you know, have gone through especially the guy I’ve been (20:11) working with, who kind of taught me lucid dreaming. His name is Charlie Morley, (20:15) very great guy, British guy. And he has done a, (20:20) not a survey, a research with veterans (20:25) who showed any signs of PTSD.(20:30) Obviously when you go, when you come from war, you know, (20:32) you must have some terrible, you must have some terrible stuff. (20:35) And after a couple of lucid dreaming sessions, (20:37) 85% of them didn’t show any sign of PTSD. (20:42) Obviously, you know, big pharma, big corporations don’t necessarily want, (20:46) you know, people to be able to heal themselves or manage their own health.(20:50) It’s so much easier. You know, we’re all tired. We all come from work.(20:54) We all have too much stress. Take a pill, take a pill, relax. But, you know, (20:58) a lot of results, we have a lot of results ourselves to manage ourselves, (21:02) but it is more difficult.(21:04) But I think it is going to be more accessible and it’s going to be more done in (21:08) the future. You know, (21:09) more and more people don’t really want to follow just one narrative when it comes (21:12) to their health or their wellbeing or the way they have to be. (21:16) So it is going to be the future of health.You know, (21:18) it’s going to be maybe more medication for some people, (21:21) but more people are going to take that more seriously. (21:24) Lucid dreaming cannot cure everything, you know, (21:26) but when it comes from a psychology point of view, it does make a lot of things. (21:30) Whatever you can do with hypnotherapy, you can do that with lucid dream, (21:33) which is extremely powerful because with this, with hypnotherapy, (21:36) you can work with OCDs, you can work with trauma, you can work with addictions, (21:40) you can work with behavioral issue, you can have self-confidence.(21:45) You can do so many things, (21:46) but obviously you need the support of an hypnotherapist who’s going to help you (21:50) to guide through your subconscious. You know, it’s a bit more passive. (21:54) It’s in a way of accessing your subconscious with someone else, (21:59) but you can do like self-hypnosis whilst with lucid dreaming, (22:03) you are completely active whilst you are in your lucid dreaming, (22:07) when you’re lucid dreaming state, which is super powerful, basically.(22:10) Right. Cause you’re taught, you’re actually taught like how to think, right. (22:13) How to control it in a meditation.Someone’s guiding you through that. (22:17) Whereas in the lucid dreaming, it is on you. (22:21) It is on you.Yeah. (22:23) And that makes it even more powerful because it goes as far as you, (22:29) your allowance of it wants to go, right? (22:32) Like cause sometimes you don’t even know that you want to go further, (22:36) but your body’s telling you not to, not because it shouldn’t, (22:40) but because it needs to stay in control. For example, (22:42) like your ego and your subconscious.(22:44) We’ve seen our bodies do very many harmful things to us in very smaller ways (22:50) in order to stay in control because it’s afraid to break its own narrative in (22:55) its own way. You know, it’s also to protect. (22:59) It is ultimately to protect us.Yeah. (23:01) It’s to protect us because I remember I had the lucid dream and I was in front (23:04) of the sea and I was asking the big question. (23:07) This is why lucid dreaming is super powerful.You can ask yourself, you know, (23:10) you can, you can doubt about something. Oh, should I marry him? (23:13) Should I marry her? So many different things, you know, you can ask any, (23:17) I was asking a big question. (23:20) And I was like, tell me now, because now I know I’m dreaming.(23:24) I know it’s a dream. And I was like using like some superpower magic thing. (23:28) I like to do when I am lucid in my dream.Okay. I know it’s a lucid dream. (23:32) I was in front of the sea and I’m like, now show me what I’m asking you.(23:36) I’m not going to tell because it’s very personal. (23:38) And then I started seeing like pictures, like, you know, pixelating, (23:42) like deep pixelating, you know, showing exactly what I was looking for slowly. (23:47) And I’m like, okay, hurry up.Can I, can I go on, you know, (23:49) on speed as forward, but I woke up because it was too much for me. (23:55) My body was like, you’re not ready. You just are not ready for it.(23:58) Because you know, your, your body or our subconscious, (24:01) we always work with us for us. You know, it’s our best friend. (24:05) And I was like, crap, you know, this is, this is, this is why it is.(24:09) This is why sometimes the use of I’m not saying narcotic or more like plant, (24:14) like ayahuasca can be. (24:15) I was going to say we, (24:16) there’s a lot of plant medication for PTSD with medical, (24:19) with veterans in America, ayahuasca, psilocybin. (24:23) There’s a lot of studies starting to slowly grow and finding out (24:28) what’s the one that one starts with a K the thing that the friends guy OD’d on (24:34) whatever, whatever that ketogen, I can’t think of the name, (24:39) but there’s a specific drug, but there are certain ones that are like DMT, (24:43) obviously ayahuasca and all that.(24:46) So it’s, it’s interesting. That is so interesting. Cause I, (24:49) I broke my train of thought on it for a second, but go ahead, go ahead, (24:52) please.(24:53) The thing is I found that, you know, there is a strand, you know, (24:57) that started like 10 more than 10, (24:59) 15 years ago where people were going to Latin America doing it. (25:02) Now it’s been pulling to Europe. (25:04) So you can see people doing that in a flat, like, come on, if you’ve done it, (25:09) you know that you must be in contact with nature.(25:12) My point is people are trying just to bypass the whole process of, (25:17) because it’s a ritual, you know, it’s not just taking a plant. (25:20) It’s not a question and an answer. Yeah.It’s not a, (25:24) it’s the search for the truth. It’s kind of to your point. (25:27) It’s the search for the truth.It’s not question answer. It’s, (25:31) that’s not how, that’s not how the world ever worked. (25:34) You couldn’t Google, how did you defend off, fend off a, you know, a lion, (25:39) you know, back in the day, right? (25:41) You had to learn that skill or have that instinctually kind of in you.So, (25:45) so let me ask you this in a, just to throw you in the weirdest way, (25:49) your lucid dreams, where are your answers coming from? (25:55) So there are different types of school of thoughts. (25:59) It can just be asking you personally. So a couple of school thoughts would be, (26:03) this is your experience is all stored up in here.(26:06) It processes up in here and then somehow through the delusion of the dream and (26:11) the illusion of the dream gives you that answer through the experience that you (26:14) have in some way. But there’s other, (26:19) perhaps you are aligning with this frequency that where all the (26:23) answers are and you’re tapping into that, that way. (26:28) Actually there will be three then.(26:30) Three. Oh yeah. Share the third.Yeah. What would be the other one then? (26:33) There will be, yeah, obviously, you know, (26:34) everything that you have lived in your life, you know, (26:37) that you have stored the subconscious will speak to you. (26:41) The most logical, there is a, what some people think, some people, (26:46) I’m not saying everyone that you can just connect with other beings or you (26:50) connected to the power of the universe and stuff like this.(26:55) I’m not keen on this one. And I will explain later on, (27:00) I think, but I, the, (27:01) the other school of thought is you also have the memory of your ancestor. (27:07) And this is what, in your DNA and such, (27:10) because you are not, who are you? Who are you? (27:15) Oh, I’m this, I’m identified as this and that.No, no, no. Who are you? (27:19) Oh, my name is not, no. Who are you? People are like shocked.(27:24) You are just an extension of your father and your mother. That’s why you are. (27:28) You’re an extension of them.And you’re an extension of your grandparent, (27:31) of your grand-grandparents. You’re basically another element of the (27:36) chain. You’re just another element.And if you have children, (27:39) you would just have other people. So you just, (27:42) we are just an extension that sometimes life will stop with you. (27:44) If you don’t have children or sometimes your, your, your lineage will carry on.(27:49) So this is who we are. So, and in African cosmology, (27:52) you have obviously a fire, earth, water, but you’ve got minerals. (27:57) And people’s, I was like, but what is minerals? It’s basically our bones.(28:02) And in Africa, you know, you have a way of predicting the future, (28:05) or telling how someone is just by throwing bones, (28:10) because in your bones, this is where all your memories, (28:12) all your DNA is where it’s stored, basically. (28:15) So I believe when you dreams about, you dream about something, (28:19) you might also get connected with the memory of your ancestors. (28:23) And then there’s a fourth I thought of, what about between people? (28:28) What do you mean? (28:29) You know, between people alive who were asleep, (28:31) who might be contributing to some central churning of (28:36) processing interchange hub spoke, or just, you know, wheel kind of way.(28:41) So there’s, you know, there’s even another way to look at that as well. (28:43) But I love that, (28:44) that you mentioned the DNA part because I I’m of that opinion that I think a lot (28:48) of fears, those, (28:49) the phobias that we have were DNA imprints of our ancestors of (28:54) some people like specifically like claustrophobic or if they (28:58) didn’t get it like conditioned as a child or something, it, (29:03) it’s my opinion that it’s kind of that DNA memory, you know, (29:07) afraid of water, like what would make you a fear of the ocean? (29:11) Like in that weird way, right? It, it seems odd in some way, (29:15) but maybe someone had drowned, you know, in the previous. (29:18) So it would make sense.(29:21) And I don’t know if you’ve read this book, Mark by Mark Woolin. (29:24) He didn’t start with you. (29:26) No.(29:27) He talks a lot about transgenerational trauma and he’d explain, (29:31) you know, why someone at a certain age, not at different, (29:35) it can happen at different age. (29:36) You would have a trauma or phobia that just kind of triggered out of nowhere. (29:41) Like you said, claustrophobia or having a fear of, uh, (29:46) seeing something that you don’t really understand.(29:48) Sometimes it can be linked to someone in your family, you know, (29:50) either the generation up or it can be like aunties and uncles or grandmother, (29:56) grandfather. So, and I don’t know who said that again, you know, (29:59) I’m really bad with names, but you know, when you remember, (30:02) when you remember is you re you become again, (30:06) a member of this memory. And I was like, wow, this is fascinating.(30:10) It’s not just remembering. (30:13) You re you re become a member of your community. (30:16) You’re reliving it really.You’re becoming it again. Yeah. (30:19) Yeah.And this is why, you know, (30:20) people say, oh, um, you know, I’ve got like this, (30:24) I don’t know if you can see it here. Uh, I’ve got something. (30:28) I think I’m really not the other side, but anyway, (30:31) I’ve got like a mark that my mom has and her grandfather has, you know, (30:35) is this something like a birthmark? Yeah.A birthmark. You will have it. (30:39) It’s physical.But what about the mental one? Or why not? Like gift, (30:44) you know, Oh, in our family, we’ve got a lot of great singers, great painters. (30:48) Why talent can be passed on, but not trauma. (30:53) When you think like this, everything can be passed on who you are.(30:57) You’re an extension. You are just an, you are first and foremost, (31:00) an extension in your family. You are part of a group and you know, (31:05) whatever they’ve got, you will have it one way or another.(31:08) Doesn’t mean that your personality, your destiny will be determined by that, (31:12) but it’s your heritage. You know, it’s not just money. (31:14) It’s, it is something you would get right.So on that, on that, (31:18) we’re looking for solutions. People come to you, they’re suffering, (31:21) they’re struggling. They’re trying to get answers.They need truth. (31:26) You just told me now, once again, this is to question. (31:29) I’m trying to get a deep understanding of how you perceive (31:34) things for you and for me, because I’d love to heat to pick your brain about this.(31:39) So you talk about previous traumas. So you go in and go, well, (31:43) my life sucks because my DNA has got all this trauma in it. (31:47) And you wrote this, you wrote an article.(31:49) Most recent one I see is about victimhood. So how, (31:54) and what I, (31:55) what I also think is in this therapy that we’ve gone to is we’ve jumped the shark (31:59) here a little bit on the therapy side, right? We went right to like, Oh, (32:03) it’s my parents fault or it’s my DNA or, Oh, that’s crappy. You know, (32:08) whatever genetics of mine or something.So they’re finding the blame. Right? (32:11) So now I’m a victim of the thing before me, right? (32:14) It takes away that personal accountability that we talk about, (32:18) that we need to make ourselves better in the first place. (32:22) So how do we work the counter? You know, (32:25) how do we combat the victim hood with it? (32:28) Because I struggle with that because I can look at my upbringing is it (32:33) being a fault of something.(32:35) And I’ve now come to the point where it (32:40) is, it’s the accountable factor. (32:43) It’s like what was responsible for things, (32:46) but it wasn’t a fault thing because it wasn’t an intentional thing. (32:51) So I wasn’t a victim of something if the intent wasn’t to hurt.(32:57) Right. That’s the way I have, that’s the way I perceive it. (33:00) And my ability to do that has allowed me to heal some of my relationships (33:05) or at least take a step back in a less emotional state.(33:10) It’s still hard, (33:11) but it has allowed me to do that because I’ve looked at it from like, yes, (33:15) because this I may have reacted this way and that formed a little bit of my life. (33:22) But you were just doing the best you could. (33:24) You know, it’s not like it’s not like it was your fault for that.(33:29) You didn’t know that that was the going to be the outcome. (33:31) And I think if you did, you wouldn’t have done that kind of thing. (33:34) You know, so I’d love to pick your brain on something like that.(33:38) How do you how do you work the victimhood out of it? (33:40) Considering you wrote about it or tell me your thoughts about the victimhood (33:43) and how that’s become an epidemic in the millennial kind of, you know, generation. (33:51) So there are a couple of things to pick up on that. (33:54) You know, one to one through everything.(33:57) In the one to one (34:00) session with a client, obviously it’s difficult (34:03) because people can come really in a very vulnerable position. (34:07) So it’s difficult to have what I would say some coaches might have. (34:13) You know, they haven’t really been trained in psychology.(34:15) They would be more like, hey, it’s all about accountability. (34:18) If you want, you know, if there is a will, there is a way kind of things. (34:21) Obviously, I’m caricaturing it.(34:23) It’s not all about this, but it’s really putting a lot of emphasis on the conscious (34:30) level. It’s a bit if you’re aware of it, if you break your limiting beliefs, (34:34) you will take accountability for your life and everything is going to be fine. (34:38) Drive a nice car.Thank you very much. (34:40) Sign the contract. There you go.(34:42) Great. My approach is slightly different because I work on the subconscious level (34:46) on the premise that through subconscious, you will get to the truth. (34:51) So like the first difference, but then when it comes to before going to the victimhood, (34:57) going back to African healing and African cosmology, African spirituality (35:03) and the knowledge, some of your audience, if they are interested about that, (35:08) Malindo Masome, great guy, wrote a couple of books.(35:12) I would recommend him the healing of the power of healing of Africa. (35:17) And he and this is why when we work in this kind of African tradition, (35:22) especially when we talk with our parents, we don’t talk about love. (35:26) I would love your parents like we do in the West.(35:29) I have to love my parents. (35:31) There is this kind of love when you have a kid. (35:34) And even in the West, before before the industrial revolution, (35:37) it was not like you live in a flat or in a house with your parents and everyone.(35:41) Everything is fine. This is not a natural way. (35:44) Is you live in a village and you and you were brought up by your neighbors, (35:48) by your uncle, by different people.(35:51) You were raised by a community as a community. Right. (35:54) So not everything was falling down on mom and dad.(35:58) But nowadays we live in an epidemic, especially for black (36:04) families, when it’s just the mom. (36:06) It’s terrible. Terrible.(36:07) One person’s already two was. (36:09) Yeah, just two is not enough. (36:11) And she’s and she’s working three jobs on top of it, (36:14) just because she’s the only one who can make any money.(36:16) So she’s, you know, on top of the responsibility of raising children. (36:20) I mean, I can’t even I can’t imagine the stresses. (36:23) So structurally, it’s already it’s not even float.(36:26) It’s fucked up. Let’s put it that way. (36:28) Yeah.So it’s beyond. (36:29) Yeah. Just to parent.It’s just not enough. (36:31) So you have a community that you don’t have. (36:34) You don’t have this connection to nature, which is important in order to (36:38) to have the right rhythm.(36:40) Now, what is our rhythm? (36:42) Christmas before Christmas in the US, you have like Thanksgiving. (36:45) Now, Black Friday, Thanksgiving, Christmas. (36:48) This is our rhythm.(36:49) No, this is not the rhythm of life. (36:52) Autumn, winter, spring, summer. (36:54) This is the natural rhythm that we should be following.(36:57) We don’t follow that. (36:59) We follow crazy advertising rhythm. (37:01) This is how we are being programmed.(37:03) So can you imagine just by a single mom having the wrong rhythm (37:07) that is being penetrating you that you have to live by? (37:10) This is crazy. (37:12) So to your point, that’s a consumer rhythm, right? (37:14) Let’s be honest. (37:15) This is how it’s all consumer based, right? (37:18) It’s like buy the food and buy the gifts (37:20) and get more gifts, you know, kind of thing.(37:24) So and we’re aware of the old way was not was not consumer based. (37:29) It was communal based. (37:31) It was to to integrate, not to separate.(37:35) Yeah. To work with nature, just like eating the fruit from the season, (37:39) the vegetable of the season, you know, celebrating the season, celebrating life. (37:44) So structurally, it’s already not working.(37:47) But then you also get to this point where. (37:52) You just don’t have the time to do to take care of your children. (37:56) And, you know, you are bombarded again by another propaganda, (37:59) which is about love of you, you need to love your parents.(38:03) And there is this kind of love. (38:05) No, no, no. It’s not about love.(38:06) As a children and as a parent, they don’t love. (38:09) Obviously, it’s about respect and it’s about growing the honor. (38:12) We can show an honor.(38:13) This is the word. (38:15) It really is honor. Yeah.(38:16) It’s about honor in African tradition. (38:18) You honor your parents. (38:21) You give them the respect because they gave you life.(38:26) But it’s not about I’m going to give you life and got to the point (38:29) where they were alive to give you life. (38:32) Let’s be honest, everything is biologically based. (38:35) Everything is based on evolution and what got us forward.(38:39) We have little minute little mutations in our biology over the years. (38:44) Some of those things died off, caused all these X’s to go this way. (38:47) Some of them enhanced us.(38:49) And those are the ones who grew. (38:51) Like, for example, one of the interesting ones I thought was like in gorillas, (38:55) for example, in the pupils, it was all black. (38:58) And then this started there was started to be white around the eyes.(39:01) But that allowed the people that looked at you to see what you were looking at. (39:06) OK, it would allow to show attention. (39:08) So what you found was an uptick in mate reproduction of gorillas (39:14) with the white pupil in the whites behind it, because the female saw that (39:19) as attention at her and was attracted to that attention, (39:23) whereas the black eyes you couldn’t tell.(39:26) So those over time got bred out once again to your DNA, (39:29) just like a memory, but biologically. Right. (39:32) So it’s very similar to what we were talking about earlier, (39:35) where it did come biologically.(39:37) So these things that you’re talking about honoring was a utility. (39:42) Love is not love is a luxury. (39:45) Yeah.Honoring is a utility. (39:47) Honoring is what gets you to understand. (39:50) And I think to your point, we think love has to be kind and sweet all the time.(39:56) Tough love is the honoring is like you have to do, as I say, (40:00) because it will get you to tomorrow. (40:02) The reason I know that it may hurt you, but it won’t kill you right now to do this. (40:07) This hurts.But you will die if you don’t do this kind of thing. (40:10) You know, it’s one of those those types of lessons that we we actually go, (40:15) oh, my parents don’t love me because they treat me poorly. Yeah.(40:19) But they are because the love that’s in your young (40:22) and we don’t talk about the honoring. (40:24) Yeah. I’d love for you to expound on that.(40:27) Yeah. The role of a parent is not just to love that. (40:29) Obviously, you need to give affection.(40:31) You need to give attention. You need to. (40:32) It does come through love, but that it’s also about making sure (40:37) that your your offspring or your children just grow.(40:40) You know, and just you need to give them love, obviously. (40:43) But this relationship that we’re trying to romanticize in the West is completely (40:46) wrong because it gives this false expectation that if there is no love (40:51) or as you say, if it’s not sugarcoated, it’s not it’s not enough. (40:54) Whereas it’s about honoring.(40:55) And especially for millennials and Gen Z, it’s about accepting that, (41:00) you know, your parents would do whatever they have to do, (41:03) you know, for you to survive and for you to grow. (41:05) So it’s really about honoring people who came before you. (41:07) And the problem is people, especially in Europe, (41:10) I think in the US, you don’t have it that much.(41:12) But because I come from a generation of people who have migrated to Europe. (41:16) So I’m from the second generation. (41:18) So and we have been told at school that we were more clever than our parents.(41:23) So we know better than you that we are in a rich country. (41:27) So we know. No, no, no.(41:28) Again, humility. (41:30) This is the biggest part of leadership is about humility and magnanimity. (41:35) It’s like knowing your weaknesses and your strengths, (41:37) but knowing that people who came before you honoring them know better than you, (41:42) whether whatever you have had at some point, we might overtake our parents.(41:46) But I grew up in this kind of mentality that we were more clever (41:49) than our parents, which was very deeply fooled. (41:52) So taking that into all in this consideration. (41:55) Yeah, it does.It makes you entitled. (41:57) I mean, it’s it’s it’s a part of the coddling. (42:00) If you ever read Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Coddling of the American Mind, (42:04) it is probably it’s I do audio books.(42:06) He’s put it on and just listen. (42:08) But it talks about how, you know, they started. (42:11) Making everybody a superhero, like you, you can be everything you can is like, (42:15) yes, yes, you can.(42:17) And you have to work your ass off to be it like you can’t just be it. (42:22) Like your point. (42:23) We went to that microwave generation, right? (42:25) It’s like question and answer.(42:26) We don’t get to seek the truth. (42:28) We we just want the answer from the question that we ask. (42:31) That’s not how life works its way out.(42:34) That’s not how you work through life. (42:36) You have to work yourself to the answer. (42:39) You need to go through experience.(42:40) There is nothing valuable without experience. (42:43) You know, you need to endure this very pain. (42:45) But obviously, pain is part of it.(42:47) You know, deception. (42:48) We’re going to experience pain, you know, you experience, (42:51) you know, in order to get where you want to be. (42:52) And then to go back to the point of victimhood and how it has (42:58) polluted the world, not just the US, the UK can say the same thing.(43:02) It’s just because it’s easier just to be the hero or be the victim, (43:08) because now being the victim, you don’t have to be the hero. (43:11) The hero is in the book, the one who is going to go through shit (43:14) is going to go through a first stage of a realization that our life (43:18) is not how it’s supposed to be and then work his way or her way out (43:22) in order to become the hero is he or she was from the very beginning. (43:26) But it’s going through the journey.(43:28) Now you are being offering another option is be just the victim. (43:31) Things should have been the way you were supposed to. (43:34) If things are wrong, it’s because the world is wrong and you are right.(43:38) So this is a very, very easy narrative to fall into, (43:42) especially when you are too dangerous, dangerous. (43:45) You’re the queen. You’re the king.(43:47) Yeah, but you did. Did you earn it? (43:49) Did you honor people who came before you to get this title? (43:52) You don’t become a king just because you are a king. (43:54) You there was a king before a queen when they die.(43:57) You became so so this change always carry on. (44:01) And in this article I wrote. (44:04) It’s just because, you know.(44:06) Yes, but let’s be honest, though, even in a monarchy, (44:09) if you were born into that, you would have been trained (44:12) your whole life to take that responsibility. (44:14) Yeah. So even a king in the monarchy is different than just a self-proclaimed king.(44:20) Yeah. And I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t defense going to say there’s training (44:27) or there’s I mean, the life that they are held to to be (44:31) that is a weirdly, oddly non free life. (44:35) Yeah.And we were never going to have known that. (44:38) But it’s more about that. (44:39) But we can’t be entitled to say, to your point, I’m a king.(44:42) So I deserve that. I mean, you know what I mean? (44:43) Even even monarchy kings went work hard to assume that role at some point (44:49) through their life. (44:51) But it’s also so it’s easy, first of all, just to just to be the victim (44:55) as opposed to be the hero.So you don’t have to work anything. (44:58) And it’s also because you don’t own your feelings. (45:01) You don’t own anything.(45:02) You think people are owning you and being a victim. (45:05) So there is a difference. (45:06) And I think someone put that to me as a as a as a feedback in my article.(45:10) I’m pretty blunt and straight to the point. (45:13) And I didn’t make the difference (45:15) between being a victim of something really horrible or an accident, (45:20) being raped or whatever, you know, being a victim of something which is terrible (45:23) and acting like a victim is different things is acting like a victim. (45:28) And you start acting like as a victim.(45:31) So I use the triangle model, the drama triangle, which is amazing. (45:35) Once you know that, when you study that, you see that everywhere. (45:39) And and basically it’s whenever you don’t own your feelings (45:43) and you always think or you always work by the motto of I cannot be OK (45:47) if someone else doesn’t change or it can be also the world.(45:51) If the world doesn’t change, I’m not going to be OK. (45:54) Therefore, this is where you become and you start acting like a victim. (45:58) And that can also take a different shape.(46:00) Like when you act like as a persecutor, when you would just tell someone, (46:05) you’re wrong. I’m right. (46:07) This is the way it should be.(46:10) Therefore, you need to change. (46:12) So it’s very insidious. (46:14) You need to change in order the situation to be better.(46:16) And again, you know, and whatever you play the role of the rescuer, (46:20) you just try to hide your feeling. (46:22) But you expect things to change without saying it. (46:25) And then you become more resentful and you might become (46:27) and act like a persecutor playing the victim, because at the end of the day, (46:32) in the drama triangle, I resembled a little bit of that.(46:35) I’m a little bit older than you, I think. (46:37) So I’m a Gen X or so. Gen X. (46:40) I just turned 50 this year, so I’m a little I’m probably a little older than you.(46:44) But yeah, so it’s one of those things where I had that little rescuer (46:48) mentality in your head. (46:49) And I’ve been I’ve run the gamut. (46:51) And once again, seeking the truth, I went from I was a I mean, (46:55) we haven’t talked about, but I was like a grade A neocon from the 90s, (46:59) wanting to bomb the Middle East, ready to shove a scud up a rock.(47:03) You know, Saddam Hussein’s ass. (47:04) I, you know, is all that I believed all that to your point was not my viewpoint. (47:09) It was what I was told.(47:11) And then, you know, we see the lies and the, you know, once again, (47:14) you pick at the truths, the facts that they sent us. (47:18) And they’re all lies. (47:19) And then you get completely disheartened.(47:21) So like I was a man who went from enlisting to the fight for his country. (47:25) And I wasn’t able to do it because I had a physical issue. (47:28) I had a car accident.(47:29) So I failed the physical. (47:31) But I enlisted to fight for my country to the person who was like, (47:35) this country is nothing but evil and bad people. (47:38) But it’s not all that either.(47:40) But then you’re coming back to like who’s running the show (47:43) and what’s going on and all that. (47:44) So I’m getting deeper into those types of things. (47:47) And it’s it’s challenging.(47:49) But I’m backing off from the resentment part because it’s like (47:52) I just can only share the information I can’t. (47:56) I can’t make I maybe sharing the information helps move the needle. (48:00) But I can’t just expect things to your point to go my way (48:05) or the way I should want them to go just because I want them that way.(48:09) Yeah. And maybe back in the days in 2000, it was more the rescue mode, (48:15) which was, you know, fancy. (48:17) You know, how can we risk? (48:18) Yeah, the I think the 90s would have probably been that coming out of the 80s, (48:21) like hero action, hero movie kind of thing, I think (48:24) was a little bit of that rescuer, which is like a softer (48:27) action hero in a way, right? (48:29) The risk, the risk, you know, when you analyze it, (48:32) it’s the most difficult to notice because it’s very insidious.(48:36) It’s you basically hide and suppress your need. (48:39) This is the the mentality of the rescuer because you don’t own (48:43) because all of the three roles are victims role, basically, (48:46) whether the persecutor, the victim and the rescuer. (48:49) But you try to get your needs met by not saying it (48:51) and by thinking that you are better than the other, (48:55) that you’re going to be able to solve the situation, (48:58) going to be able to sort it by being self-righteous.(49:01) And again, the way of not owning your feelings by not admitting (49:05) that you’ve got something, you’ve got a secondary gain (49:08) or even a primary gain about doing it, you want to be seen as a hero. (49:12) Simply, you know, you or it’s not just about (49:16) others and whatever we repress our feelings is. (49:19) I think it’s super disastrous.(49:21) I’ve been in a situation to in my family, there was a big triangle (49:24) where I was the one suppressing everything. (49:27) And then you become resentful. (49:29) You become resentful because you’re like, what about me? (49:31) I have the right to exist.(49:32) I have the right to to have feelings. (49:34) I have the right to have needs. (49:35) And this is the most difficult the one I mean.(49:38) But we all play the three roles in the triangle, which is why it’s so funny. (49:42) Yeah. Yeah, it’s funny.(49:44) We think we think we’re above all these things, right? (49:46) Like, I love the I love for example, I love these people. (49:49) Like, I could never do what Germans did in 1940s. (49:54) Well, really, you can’t.(49:56) You you couldn’t possibly imagine half of the people unemployed, starving to death. (50:01) You know, the Europe stomping on their neck, (50:04) not letting them be anything completely humiliated. (50:09) Sure, they’re going to they’re going to fight back, I think.(50:12) I think I’m going to fight back. (50:14) But I think when it’s crazy, because when I was at school. (50:18) That doesn’t defend Hitler.Just to be clear, I want to be clear. (50:21) I’m not defending the actions, only explaining the actions through psychology. (50:26) But I think it’s good.(50:28) And I think there is this French philosopher, psychologist who studied (50:33) what we have gone through through Covid and explaining how people have. (50:40) Digress from a mature, (50:43) almost neurotic state, you know, of being an adult and being very vertical (50:47) to child to child to children, because, you know, the propaganda, (50:51) the fact that, you know, we’ve been constantly being shocked by the news, (50:56) the media, what’s going on that gives that puts you in a very vulnerable position, (51:02) you know, and when through our lives, you know, in the West, Western world, (51:05) we are not being, you know, (51:08) given the opportunity, especially for men, just to express our (51:13) not anger, the aggression that any man has. (51:17) It’s a positive one because it’s not the one that is used to destroy, (51:21) but the one which you use to defend your family (51:24) or the one that is used to build something.(51:26) This needs to be expressed. (51:27) That’s why we are different from women. (51:29) We’re told to suppress it all.(51:30) We’re told it’s all toxic. (51:32) And if there’s no nuance, it’s if it comes from a man’s side, (51:36) if it’s what men do, it’s toxic. (51:39) It’s a very weird thing.(51:40) It wasn’t like hitting your wife is bad. (51:44) It’s bad. That doesn’t mean that having a wife is is toxic.(51:48) You know what I mean? (51:49) Like like those those are two very different things, you know, (51:52) getting married and hitting your wife are not the same thing. (51:55) How can one be toxic? (51:56) You know, how can they both be toxic in this weird way, for example? Right. (52:00) But but to your point, you spoke about very rational people losing their minds.(52:05) There’s a book I’d love for you to to to check out. (52:08) It’s by a gentleman named Tom Woods, and it’s called Diary of a Psychosis. (52:13) And basically, I think I’ve heard of this book.(52:15) Yeah, it’s all scientific data about covid. (52:19) And it’ll show you graphs and charts and show you how people just lost their minds. (52:23) They just did not look at the actual facts because there’s a narrative (52:27) being fed once again from a from a propagandist perspective, (52:30) from the people who shape those narratives.(52:33) And we’re busy. (52:34) So we hear that on a radio station or on a TV or streaming in a commercial. (52:39) Yeah.Don’t kill your grandmother. (52:40) Put on a mask or this or that, you know, all those things, you know, (52:43) whatever those things are that they want to share. (52:45) And it’s very interesting.(52:47) But it’s very odd to watch. (52:50) You know, it’s kind of like the the mob mentality, right? (52:53) The torches and the pitchforks, right? Yeah. (52:55) But they don’t understand.(52:57) We get together in a group. (52:58) We get really dumb very quickly. (53:00) Very because the regression effect is not just on an individual level.(53:05) It’s on a collective level. (53:07) So everyone is regressing from adult to I’m not going to say even teenager (53:11) to children. (53:13) And then you’ve got this kind of codependency with this kind of (53:16) maltreated parents who just don’t want you to grow, (53:20) who don’t want you to be able to think by yourself.(53:23) No, no, no. That has never happened. (53:24) Don’t look at this, you know.(53:26) And everyone was in this regression. (53:30) Being constantly traumatized, unable to say, OK, hang on a second. (53:35) I think I see I say and I do.(53:39) No, no, no, no. You have to be dependent on one narrative. (53:42) And that’s why you have seen so many people doing things (53:45) which were against their will.(53:47) And this is basically when you ally propaganda and collective regression. (53:52) This is the formula of authoritarian regime. (53:55) And this is why she compared that.(53:57) The author, I need to mention that she’s I love her. (53:59) Arianne Biron, amazing, amazing. (54:02) She’s French, but her book explained clearly from a psychology point of view (54:06) how we could have accepted what the Nazi have accepted.(54:10) People in Germany have accepted. (54:12) Or how did we accept what happened during Covid? (54:14) Because it’s a total regression of our ability to think, to see (54:18) and to act correctly as adults and putting a boundary and being like, no, (54:22) I do not want that. (54:23) And another point that she mentioned, it’s about how (54:26) those authoritarian regime trying to invade our privacy.(54:31) And we have seen that through QR code, through the fact of showing, (54:36) you know, having a passport, you know, those mental, not mental, (54:39) those health issues are deeply intimate is just between you and yourself. (54:43) It shouldn’t be declared your status, whether you have a vaccine or not. (54:47) It belongs to you.(54:49) But that is a big characteristic of authoritarian regime. (54:53) When they try to invade even your intimacy, (54:57) and that’s why you see more and more companies, you know, (54:59) because I write a lot about work culture. (55:01) They want to see what is your sexuality.(55:02) But that doesn’t belong to you. (55:04) That belongs to me and my partner, not to you. (55:07) I know you want to have some nice that on a nice on a nice show, (55:11) show on the nice PowerPoint.(55:13) But that doesn’t belong to you. (55:14) That is my privacy. (55:15) It’s everyone’s privacy.(55:17) So and this is why, you know, you can see sometimes the EDI can be a little bit (55:20) corrupted, you know, trying to see everyone’s religion, everyone’s sexuality. (55:24) No, no, no. But there are things belong to people.(55:27) And that’s why I wrote this other article about privacy. (55:30) No pride, no shame and no intimacy. (55:33) It is it is important as adult to protect that because it is very intimate.(55:41) Right, and you wrote about free speech as well. (55:42) I want to touch really quickly on something you said. (55:45) There’s a book called Ordinary Men.(55:48) And it was about. (55:50) German police officers who were already old, (55:54) they weren’t indoctrinated into the Nazi regime, (55:57) but they found themselves to eventually go along with it, right? (56:02) Like it’s like, to your point, this that’s the person. (56:05) My point on that was when we think we can’t do something (56:10) is when we’re most susceptible to doing it, right? (56:13) Like I could never do that.(56:15) Of course, that’s what allows the gateway, the door to allow. (56:18) You need to understand the other side of you. (56:21) You need to understand your shadow.(56:23) Yes, I am capable of being manipulated to do bad things. (56:27) Just knowing that or just being aware or thinking that you’re not above (56:31) that allows you to be aware of not being manipulated to do bad things. (56:35) It’s just the awareness of it, you know.(56:37) And I think it’s it’s another thing that authoritarian regime do is they oppose (56:42) people. You’ve never seen like so many things so divisive than the COVID vaccines. (56:47) You’ve never heard that.(56:48) But this is, as you said, is having the the audacity or the (56:53) whatever you want to call it. (56:54) You said, I am part of the good guys and you are the wrong guys. (56:59) And just having this mentality, you’re a very (57:03) things are being opposite.(57:05) That leads to, you know, being completely immune to seek for the truth. (57:09) You know, as soon as you start thinking, I am from I am a good guy, I don’t have to (57:14) hear anything. This is a dangerous side.(57:16) And again, going back to our first point, it’s about the journey of seeking for the (57:21) truth, not getting the truth. (57:22) The truth will never come to you like this. (57:24) It will never come to you.You need to look for it. (57:27) You need to fight for it. (57:28) You need to.Yeah, you need you need to. (57:30) It’s this is very dangerous just to have this mentality. (57:34) But this is why during this crazy time that COVID was, it was a crazy time.(57:38) It was always important for me to be. (57:40) Am I doing the right research? (57:42) Am I open? Am I not close? (57:45) And I’m not closing myself to other people who don’t share the same point of view. (57:49) And, you know, I keep, you know, having conversation and debating.(57:52) And this is very healthy. (57:53) As soon as you shut down a friendship or shut down people who don’t agree with you, (57:58) this is a dangerous side that you are being manipulated by yourself or by someone else (58:03) or by someone else through yourself without really realizing it. (58:07) This is why this constantly seeking for the truth and just removing anything that can (58:13) just prevent you from building bonds, building links.(58:18) Because this is why it’s another very important point from Arianne Billeroy in her book is (58:22) authoritarian regime. (58:24) What they want is isolate people. (58:26) You are just an individual.(58:27) No, no, no. As I said, you’re not just you and you are the extension of your family. (58:33) And we are supposed to live in a community.(58:36) So we never an atom lost. (58:39) We all part of a group. (58:41) But this is what, you know, authoritarian regime wants, just to have individual people that (58:46) can be suppressed whenever they need.(58:48) And this is a problem because we’re stronger together. (58:50) It sounds corny, but this is the truth. (58:53) And it’s only because you’re part of people, part of the community, that you can become (58:57) better.So to go back to your first point about therapy, this is a very important (59:03) thing that said to my client, it’s not just your problem. (59:06) It can also be the problem of your family. (59:08) But it is by building stronger link with them, bonding with them, honoring them that you (59:14) can get better.They can really get to the sense of truth of what actually happens. (59:18) So it’s just not political. (59:21) It’s also on an individual level.(59:24) How do you get the sense of truth by getting in contact with people who have been there (59:30) since you were born? (59:33) I just something came to me about the honoring thing, because I’m very much aligned with (59:38) that now. (59:39) I think what happened was the rights of adults as individuals that we came in the West (59:46) with the Constitution that we have in the United States became the rights of children. (59:50) But children, in my opinion, are not the same right level because they’re protected, too.(59:58) They’re there to be protected by the community, for example. (1:00:00) They’re not to be exploited. (1:00:02) They’re not to be manipulated.(1:00:04) They’re not to be mutilated, abused, use of slave labor, anything. (1:00:09) They’re supposed to be protected and learn during that time to the point they are old (1:00:14) enough to become their their own thing and break off from there, you know, or not break (1:00:19) off, but grow from their root tree or whatever. (1:00:24) What point do you see a point where the parents need to honor the child as an adult, as (1:00:32) becoming an adult and where that might be missing from the society because our parents (1:00:38) don’t have that feels the way we have the feels, right? (1:00:43) Everyone’s emotions seem to be a little more in touch with ourselves, deeper generations.(1:00:48) The easier life is, the more we can delve deeper into ourselves, right? (1:00:52) So our parents don’t have the same feeling, how, when do we feel we need to let go (1:00:57) sometimes that we’re not being honored by them as part of the honoring because they (1:01:02) don’t understand it. (1:01:04) But like, for example, I’ve at the point where I’ve come to my parents, for example, (1:01:08) and shared what I felt, but it just doesn’t click with them, you know, and some of the (1:01:14) things that don’t click, that’s where I get frustrated is like I’m trying to explain (1:01:19) with you. And if you just, if you can just say, oh yeah, okay.(1:01:24) You know, and it’s like, I’m not trying to pound my, you know, my that’s no, it’s my, (1:01:30) it’s my answer that this is what did it. (1:01:32) But it’s like you don’t feel the openness in like you’re not honoring me as an adult on (1:01:37) my own to express. (1:01:39) Right.But that is like, I understand that when we bring our parents into this. (1:01:44) So I just thought about that in a weird way because like the honoring is absolutely (1:01:48) correct. It has to be hierarchical, but it also then has to be a point where the honor (1:01:55) levels off.Right. For example, the son becomes a patriarchy of the family. (1:01:59) The father’s a little older, doesn’t have the same, you know, strength, mobility or (1:02:05) something, whatever, leadership skills.(1:02:08) So what are your thoughts on that, that counter honor part? (1:02:13) I wouldn’t count, I would call that really honoring because as a child, you need to do (1:02:22) this. Obviously you need to honor because they give you life. (1:02:24) You need to respect what has been given to you.(1:02:27) You are the one who receives something. (1:02:30) Okay. So the perspective is from that more, from that tighter perspective, the honor will (1:02:35) always be upward.(1:02:36) It will always be upward. (1:02:37) I think because you always honor things that came before you. (1:02:41) What we have to do as children to what the parents need to do for their children is to (1:02:47) give them the courage to become an adult.(1:02:52) They need to give us the space to become an adult because especially millennials, (1:02:58) adolescent, we’re still adolescent. (1:03:00) We love to party. We are so in touch with our feeling.(1:03:03) We become so narcissistic. (1:03:04) It’s sometimes this. (1:03:06) Other parents, right.(1:03:07) Helicopter parents, right. (1:03:08) I mean, it’s just not we don’t really accept to become adults. (1:03:13) I think the generation like Gen Z and millennials really have difficult to become an (1:03:17) adult.And part of adult, there are two things is to fight either for justice or for love. (1:03:25) Is it more important that your parents understand? (1:03:29) Your point of view, so it’s more like the justice because I’m right, or is it more because (1:03:34) it’s love? I have it’s not justice versus love. (1:03:37) It’s more justice versus acceptance to accept.(1:03:39) They will never get it. And this is part of the role as an adult. (1:03:42) We need to accept.(1:03:43) It’s not just about the justice, not just because I’m right that they have to agree with (1:03:48) me. And this is why it’s so fucking hard to talk with our parents. (1:03:53) One of my teachers said, you think you’re good now? (1:03:56) Go to see your parents and go back to me and see if they didn’t piss you off, too.(1:04:00) Well, yeah, they did. And it’s because this is the best test. (1:04:03) And we need to choose between justice with them and acceptance.(1:04:07) And this is the most difficult thing. (1:04:09) And when you accept for your parents, for what they truly are, human being, because (1:04:13) especially when you are an adult, they are not adult. (1:04:16) They are older people.(1:04:17) They are senior. They are getting close to the other world. (1:04:20) And you, as an adult, you need to accept they’re not going to change that.(1:04:24) They are the way they are. (1:04:26) What happened has happened. (1:04:27) It’s a little bit too late, unfortunately, to look for reparation.(1:04:32) It is what it is. And you are now the adult in this triangle. (1:04:36) When the new generation is there looking up to that unit, they need to honor you.(1:04:41) You need to be in the acceptance movement. (1:04:43) And this is hard with parents, especially you talk about Iraq. (1:04:48) You know, I cannot imagine, you know, when you’ve been deceased, (1:04:51) the level of acceptance that you might have.(1:04:54) And I don’t know if you can tell me if it’s harder for you from your parents, (1:04:57) from the government, but it’s a little bit the same. (1:04:59) Do you see what I mean? Yes, absolutely. (1:05:02) No.And you make a great point. (1:05:04) I love exactly how you express that. (1:05:07) We do need to accept that.(1:05:09) We really do. (1:05:10) And the honoring does need to go upward to your point. (1:05:13) And I really appreciate what you said.(1:05:16) And I my parents actually visited me for my 50th birthday. (1:05:20) So I know that how quickly that can revert back to old things like (1:05:28) I was doing something and my dad reached to try to help me. (1:05:32) And my reaction, just everyone saw my reaction to that.(1:05:36) And it was so like instinctive. (1:05:39) It wasn’t it was so just I’ll say trauma. (1:05:43) And I hate to say it because like my dad’s the most amazing person in the world.(1:05:47) He’s a beautiful human being. (1:05:50) He’s just a great, kind, generous man. (1:05:54) He’s just he’s beautiful.(1:05:55) He’s gone through more than I could ever imagine. (1:05:57) Would have no idea. (1:05:59) But like just my reaction to that and realizing like, (1:06:02) what the heck is wrong with that reaction? (1:06:04) But it clearly shows that something had been conditioned over all that time.(1:06:09) So that’s the stuff you need to really almost count to five and let go. (1:06:13) Like you see an action like. (1:06:17) OK, I’m OK.(1:06:19) OK, it’s not a big deal. (1:06:20) You know, that’s the good thing. (1:06:21) Yeah.And everyone except or deal would go through that in a different way. (1:06:26) You know, sometimes people just give up and be like, (1:06:28) but is it the right thing? (1:06:29) I’m not saying it is, but it’s right. (1:06:32) And just just as much acceptance, you know, it is it is tough.(1:06:36) I think it’s one of the toughest stuff you can do as a child (1:06:40) slash adult with you, with the generation up is because it’s so ingrained. (1:06:46) But once you go through it. (1:06:48) You can really build an adult to adult relationship (1:06:51) when they will rely on you in a different way.(1:06:54) They will kind of become the child. (1:06:56) You know, they don’t want to admit that. (1:06:58) But this is the point.(1:07:00) Yeah, this is that point. (1:07:02) And I’ve I’ve got a personal story and I’ve got this person in my life (1:07:05) who’s still looking for reparation. (1:07:08) It’s a little bit too late now.(1:07:10) It’s time for you to accept things the way they are. (1:07:13) And until you don’t let go, you are going to destroy yourself (1:07:16) and and destroying the bond, because I think this is the most important thing. (1:07:20) Not from a authoritarian political analysis, (1:07:25) but from a life point of view, this is the most important.(1:07:27) It’s like keeping the bond, building bonds with other. (1:07:30) This is how we can survive and we can live a meaningful life. (1:07:35) It’s through through connections.(1:07:37) It’s not through phones. (1:07:38) It’s not through careers. (1:07:39) It’s not through podcasts.(1:07:40) It’s not through modalities. (1:07:42) It’s through the bonds that we’ve got with people that are there for us. (1:07:46) Were there when we were born? (1:07:48) The rest is a little bit more like, you know, sand in the sky.(1:07:51) I will admit, I will admit, though, the technology for someone like myself (1:07:55) in America who does not know who your name is, who you were (1:07:59) getting to talk with you about this and connecting this way is amazing. (1:08:03) That’s an amazing thing. (1:08:04) It’s just that we rely on other like people are relying on our conversation (1:08:11) instead of having their own direct conversation with someone, (1:08:14) connecting with someone.(1:08:16) But someone can just be inspired to have one. (1:08:18) Right. Oh, absolutely.Yeah. (1:08:20) You know what I’m saying? (1:08:21) Like, you know, we talk about this. (1:08:22) I think this is a great way to connect, (1:08:25) but it does have its pitfalls if other people just look at us (1:08:29) connecting versus making their own connections.Right. (1:08:32) Like it’s kind of like it’s substituting television that for us, (1:08:35) like growing up, putting the TV on, you know what I mean? (1:08:38) That was our babysitter for a while. (1:08:39) You know, podcasts are a great way to learn things, (1:08:42) but you have to be careful that they don’t isolate you from (1:08:45) making your own direct connections.Right. (1:08:49) No, 100 percent isolation, especially for men. (1:08:51) It is becoming more and more difficult, whether you’re gay or straight.(1:08:58) It’s isolation. (1:08:59) I mean, our society is more prominent for men. (1:09:04) Screens, women’s expectations are much more.(1:09:07) They are much more demanding. (1:09:09) You know what they want. They have more rage to, you know, (1:09:11) I’ve seen stuff on the Internet over the past few days.(1:09:14) Women’s rage is like these big things. (1:09:16) And women’s sensitivity has gone to the roof. (1:09:20) You know, people, men more crying, more women being more angry.(1:09:24) You know, it’s a bit more difficult. (1:09:25) And, you know, because I work in more recruitment and all that stuff. (1:09:29) And you can see that, you know, there is more equality, you know, (1:09:32) for nine to five day job, you know, in in an offices and women earn more.(1:09:37) They’re doing better than men. (1:09:39) And this is why I have a lot of beautiful friends in their 40s. (1:09:43) They can’t get a man because they cannot get a man who earns more than them (1:09:46) because eventually it’s also part of the things.(1:09:49) They also want to be taken care of. (1:09:51) It’s more difficult because they are. (1:09:53) That’s an evolutionary thing, too, that we’ve tried to culturally push out.(1:09:57) We’ve tried to make her hypergamy is what we call that. (1:10:00) Right. Where a woman will go equal and up.(1:10:03) And men don’t men don’t have that hypergamy piece, (1:10:06) but they do look for fitness and some other traits. Right. (1:10:10) Obviously, because it’s a what gets us to the next legacy of honoring.(1:10:15) How do we honor the next group? We got to get there. (1:10:18) So the men work on the physical aspects, the women work on the on the (1:10:23) on the nurturing aspects, because that’s how it’s worked. (1:10:26) It doesn’t make it right or wrong or that nature is clever enough to.(1:10:31) Right. Right. Nature figured this out.(1:10:33) It’s not that we’re figuring it out. (1:10:35) But to fight that is very challenging. (1:10:36) But I will argue, like to your point in 19, you know, in the 1970s, Nixon flooded.(1:10:42) He doubled the labor market by saying women, if you want to make more money, (1:10:45) let your you know, let women work two or something or your wife work (1:10:49) or some kind of weird thing. (1:10:50) Then it became a thing where now a single income isn’t going to cut it anyway. (1:10:54) You need two people.(1:10:56) And now you talk about even less time. (1:10:58) You’ve got two parents and nobody watching, you know, not not a you know, (1:11:03) it might be a grandparent if you’re lucky. (1:11:04) But how many of us are that fortunate? (1:11:07) Not all of us are all because we’ve kind of spread out over time.Right. (1:11:11) We’re not always living in that same community that we start out with. (1:11:13) So these things, as we grow, as we spread across the globe (1:11:16) and technology becomes like this, it becomes harder to connect you.(1:11:22) Clearly, but connecting deeply and authentically, (1:11:26) I think this is the most important one. (1:11:30) And just not having, as we said at the very beginning, (1:11:33) not connecting with people who have the same ideas as you, (1:11:37) but the same idea has been shared or pushed to you. (1:11:40) And just living in this kind of fantasy facade lies when you’re like, oh, (1:11:44) we share the same thing.(1:11:45) But do you actually share the same value? (1:11:47) Are they your values? (1:11:49) First of all, you know, are they have you looked for it? (1:11:52) Do you know your do you know yourself? (1:11:54) You know, do you really know yourself? (1:11:55) And this sentence, know thyself is so not well understood. (1:12:00) People think that knowing yourself means, oh, I need to do this therapy. (1:12:05) And if you go to this trip, I need to do this.(1:12:07) Blah, blah, blah. (1:12:07) You know, to know myself, I need to put labels on me. (1:12:10) I’m an X, Y, Z. (1:12:12) Instead of understanding what brought you to the things that you.(1:12:18) It’s more than that. (1:12:19) It’s not just knowing who all the labels you can have and you might have. (1:12:23) And you remove and re add.(1:12:25) It’s more about knowing who you are in the topos. (1:12:28) You know, that’s what the Greeks said in the space, in this constellation. (1:12:33) Where are you? What is your place? (1:12:35) Oh, I’m the second in my family.(1:12:37) I’m the third. (1:12:38) Oh, I am. (1:12:39) I wasn’t recognized, but I am still in this constellation.(1:12:42) It’s what constellation is amazing because it helps you to really understand (1:12:45) your place in the world or at least in your family. (1:12:49) And when you know that things become so clear, the amount of clients I’ve had, (1:12:54) you know, when we try to just put the honoring stuff, you know, (1:12:57) the grandparent, the parent, the lineage, where are you in your siblings? (1:13:02) Where are you? Oh, I’m there. (1:13:03) And that explains, you know, some of the relationship, the rivalry, (1:13:06) or the lack of love or attention of parents.(1:13:09) But when you’ve got it, well, you know what? (1:13:11) You have your place in this world. (1:13:13) It makes so much. (1:13:14) It’s so much easier to go through life when you have an article that says, yes, (1:13:18) you can sit with us, sticking from the mean girls, you know.(1:13:21) But they said, no, you cannot sit with us. (1:13:23) But yes, you can sit with us. (1:13:26) And when you know that you have a place in your family or even at work, (1:13:30) things change, things change dramatically because (1:13:34) every false ideas, every or even even good ideas (1:13:38) that you had about things, the way they were done wrong to you, (1:13:42) understand because you have your place.(1:13:45) Yeah. And, and, you know, in a weird way, (1:13:48) if you understand a place that then helps with your purpose and meaning. (1:13:53) You’ve spoken about that as well.(1:13:55) I love to circle back on the you spoke about the privacy shame type thing. (1:13:59) You also spoke about free speech, right? (1:14:01) We talk about authoritarian regimes. (1:14:03) It’s like it’s funny because the right to free speech (1:14:06) is also the right to refrain from saying something.(1:14:11) Right, it’s not just because I can say it doesn’t mean I should, would or have to. (1:14:16) Right. So it’s kind of your point is that privacy is freeing, (1:14:22) is just as liberating as the ability to to express it, if that makes sense.(1:14:26) But they want to force that expression yet limit your speech. (1:14:32) I find that interesting that they’re forcing you to have some kind of expression of (1:14:36) like you said, you have to explain your sexuality, you have to share this, (1:14:40) you have to share this about yourself. (1:14:42) But there, meanwhile, what you’re expressing about your free thoughts, (1:14:45) they want to suppress your censorship on, for example, a social media platform (1:14:49) through misinformation and disinformation and all that.(1:14:53) I love your thoughts on those two two pieces. (1:14:55) But the thing is, people are mixing up (1:15:00) complacency and moralization of a speech, (1:15:04) which we are encouraging people to say, you know, things that need to follow (1:15:09) a specific narrative. And this is not free speech.(1:15:11) Free speech is the ability to be able to say (1:15:15) whatever you want. (1:15:17) This is free speech. (1:15:18) And I think it’s Chomsky who said, Noam Chomsky, (1:15:22) if you think free speech is, (1:15:24) it’s only about you being able to hear your point of view.(1:15:27) This is not free speech. You should be able to hear anything. (1:15:31) And this is why I said to people, I love conflict.(1:15:34) What do you mean you love conflict? (1:15:36) No, I love constructive conflict. (1:15:38) Constructive conflict is not destructive conflict. (1:15:41) A destructive one is I say A, you say B, boom, it needs to explode.(1:15:45) It should be A or B. (1:15:46) A positive conflict is I say A, you say B, we find C together. (1:15:52) But you need to be honest with me. (1:15:54) This is respecting me when you’re telling me the truth in my face.(1:15:57) You said, Naby, I do not like what you’ve just said because X, Y and Z. (1:16:01) OK, X, Y and Z. I can agree on X. (1:16:03) But Z, I think you made a mistake. (1:16:05) OK, fair enough. And then we build on something.(1:16:07) This is a positive conflict. (1:16:09) People are worried about conflict. (1:16:10) The conflict is a positive thing.(1:16:12) World War II didn’t happen because it didn’t have enough conflict (1:16:15) at the very beginning. (1:16:16) So, no, we need to stop this because this is going too much. (1:16:18) We let something grow and then it explodes the way it is.(1:16:23) Conflict is a positive thing when you come with good intention (1:16:26) and when you’ve got a good mindset in order to find a solution. (1:16:29) And I think this is why, you know, this is dangerous when we prevent people (1:16:33) from having conflict and debate and sharing ideas. (1:16:36) When you are in a meeting and you hear people always saying the same thing, (1:16:41) you know, being complacent about what they think they know.(1:16:43) And again, going back to the information that’s been given to them (1:16:46) that they have stolen. (1:16:47) This is not helping anyone. (1:16:49) Everyone is confronting their own ignorance and nothing is moving.(1:16:53) Being respectful and being respected is about being able to say, (1:16:57) I disagree with this for this reason. (1:17:00) What can we do about that? (1:17:01) And this is how you show your true color. (1:17:03) And this is how people can really move forward.(1:17:06) So there is a real confusion about allowing people to say stuff (1:17:10) which is completely sometimes inappropriate or selling out their privacy (1:17:15) The amount of people who show their children on social media, (1:17:18) who show the emotion, who film themselves crying (1:17:22) and then look at this and then posting. (1:17:24) This is not free speech. (1:17:25) They actually edit it.(1:17:26) They actually consciously. (1:17:28) It’s not like recording and hit send. (1:17:30) They actually watch it and look at it.(1:17:33) Whatever they do. (1:17:34) And they go, yeah, this is still a good idea to send this. (1:17:37) Yeah, the thing is, it’s more about selling your intimacy.(1:17:43) The intimacy is this very unique relationship between you and yourself, (1:17:49) you and the divine, you and someone that you want to protect. (1:17:54) Actually, this is something that you just don’t want in order for intimacy (1:17:59) and people confuse intimacy and interiority, which are two different things. (1:18:04) The interiority is really when you are, you know, with yourself.(1:18:08) But this is just a connection. (1:18:11) It’s not a connection. (1:18:12) It’s more like a meditative state, a contemplative state.(1:18:16) When you are in the intimacy, that implies a link, a bond. (1:18:19) Again, we’re going back to the theme of the bond. (1:18:21) You need to be with something or someone in order to have intimacy.(1:18:25) And you need to be outside the eyes, outside the public (1:18:29) in order for intimacy to to to be created. (1:18:32) But people just want to sell this out just for clicks, (1:18:35) just because they have been told this is free speech. (1:18:38) This is not free speech.(1:18:39) This is about selling your intimacy, which is very dangerous. (1:18:43) And to your point, you mentioned Noam Chomsky, I believe he said (1:18:47) free speech is letting someone you don’t like saying something you don’t like. (1:18:52) Exactly.And and to your point, you’re right. (1:18:55) There are there are destructive speech. (1:18:56) There is destructive speech.(1:18:57) And you could you could label stuff, hate speech. (1:19:00) I you know, I guess you could you could. (1:19:03) But that becomes weird because then somebody has to define that.(1:19:06) And everybody has different definitions. (1:19:08) Some people are more sensitive than others. (1:19:10) So hate speech might be calling someone a doo doo head (1:19:12) versus calling someone an asshole.(1:19:14) You know, it’s like, OK, well, that so you got to kind of let it all be out there. (1:19:19) I mean, it’s kind of like the thing is, because if I were a ruler, (1:19:22) this is how I see the world now. (1:19:24) And it because if I were a ruler, I would want things to be a certain way.(1:19:29) That’s exactly why I can’t be a ruler and why I shouldn’t be able (1:19:32) to have the power to be able to do things a certain way because I want to use it. (1:19:35) So now I expound that to I don’t want anyone to have that power over anyone (1:19:40) because good or bad, one day a good person will get the reins (1:19:44) and then one day a bad person will get the reins. (1:19:46) And it all depends on who wields that power.(1:19:49) I’d rather them not have the power to begin with and be defanged (1:19:52) than to have than to be concerned with who is wielding the power, (1:19:56) if that makes sense. (1:19:57) And speech is a real big one on that, for sure. (1:20:00) Especially I can imagine the UK.(1:20:01) I mean, I’ve heard stories about suppression and censorship at comedy shows (1:20:05) and just sensibilities and people getting arrested for tweets and things like that. (1:20:10) I mean, is there is there anything you could share about any story you heard about? (1:20:14) I don’t really follow too much. (1:20:16) I mean, if it affects your your world, I guess.(1:20:19) But I think it’s it’s more to go back from a psychology point of view. (1:20:23) It’s this level of regression. (1:20:25) You know, when you are a child and you are not able to accept the no, (1:20:29) you know, you need to be able in order to to to be a constructed (1:20:34) and vertical adult to accept in life, there will be people with a different (1:20:39) point of view.And this is how you grow. (1:20:42) You know, again, to go back to the know the self, you know, (1:20:45) it’s not just knowing all those part of you, even the imaginary one. (1:20:49) It’s also knowing your place, but also how do you interact with other people? (1:20:55) You know, this is why, you know, the most difficult day for a child (1:20:58) is the first day when they go to school.(1:21:00) I’m going to see other people. (1:21:02) How are they going to actually? (1:21:03) This is how life starts. (1:21:04) You know, you cannot just be by yourself.(1:21:06) You need with other people. (1:21:08) And I think, you know, this cancel culture just reflect, you know, (1:21:11) the fact that we are more and more isolated, more dangerous for men (1:21:16) because aggression can really lead to rage and to into violence. (1:21:19) You know, for women, it can really become can turn not just that, (1:21:23) but to self-harm and comparison.(1:21:26) You know, obviously men do that, too. (1:21:28) I’m not just saying it’s just women. (1:21:29) But this is very important to be surprised.(1:21:32) Actually, the statistics are actually crazy that although women try attempt (1:21:36) more or allegedly attempt more men kill themselves at four to one rate. (1:21:40) So they’re actually I hate to say better at it, but they’re more thorough. (1:21:47) When they do it, so it’s a very odd thing.(1:21:51) So anyway, yeah, so please continue. (1:21:53) I mean, to your point, suicide and one of the things you just mentioned, (1:21:56) you mentioned the first day of school. (1:21:58) What happened to living with feeling uncomfortable? (1:22:03) Yeah.For just a minute. (1:22:05) Like no one wants to be uncomfortable anymore. (1:22:08) Like the we’re trying to remove every bit of discomfort from our lives.(1:22:13) And that goes all the way down to feelings. (1:22:16) We put ourselves in this bubble. (1:22:17) We really put ourselves in this isolated bubble (1:22:20) because we don’t want to be hurt and harmed and offended.(1:22:24) Oh, my gosh. Please don’t let me be offended. (1:22:26) Right.It’s an interesting thing where we’ve gotten to. (1:22:32) Indeed, it’s one of those things. (1:22:34) But we need to have trust in the future and trust in (1:22:39) ancestral knowledge who will come back one way or another, (1:22:42) because remember, we all part of the same things.(1:22:46) You know, people have gone through tough stuff. (1:22:49) We have our own challenges in this moment in time, which is very difficult. (1:22:54) But with the right, it’s cyclical.(1:22:55) I do think it’s that, you know, hard times create tough men. (1:22:59) Tough men create easy times. (1:23:01) Easy times create (1:23:03) less than tough men.(1:23:05) Tough create weak times. (1:23:06) This is where this is that turning the fourth turning. (1:23:09) We talk with Neil, how you know his book, The Fourth Turning.(1:23:11) These these are these are concepts. (1:23:13) So are you as as a as a trained person who helps people through this? (1:23:19) Are you hopeful? Do you see the future? (1:23:22) Is this why you’re doing the work you’re doing? (1:23:23) Tell me about what you see in the future and how hopeful you are (1:23:28) that things are going to correct themselves or realign. (1:23:34) I think it’s it’s funny if you want to believe in different type of (1:23:42) spirituality or different type of knowledge.(1:23:45) But it has been predicted by (1:23:50) the people. (1:23:52) I forgot the name. Sorry.(1:23:53) I think we’ll have to read that. (1:23:56) In the my brain is like getting very tired. (1:23:59) It’s already like, what time is it? (1:24:00) No, no worries.(1:24:02) I’m late for it. (1:24:03) So I was just going to repeat my answer on this one. (1:24:06) Would you hate to cut it out? (1:24:08) Am I hopeful for the future? (1:24:09) Hopeful.(1:24:11) I think hope needs to remain with us, (1:24:15) especially when you have been doing this work of seeking for the truth, (1:24:19) because if we give up, this is where shit happens. (1:24:24) So let’s say that I am hopeful that there will be more people (1:24:30) thinking for the truth, seeking to not just improve themselves, (1:24:34) but trying to make this place a better world from their own value (1:24:37) and develop their own leadership and help other people to become leaders. (1:24:43) I think there are more people waking up in a positive way (1:24:48) to make a positive change.(1:24:50) And I still believe in that because I want to believe (1:24:53) I am part of this movement. (1:24:55) I think you are, too. (1:24:57) Honest conversation, honesty, integrity are not lost.(1:25:02) It’s just up to us to bring them back and being like, (1:25:05) is this not a tired old value? (1:25:07) It’s still there. (1:25:10) So for this, I have belief to have trust in the future. (1:25:14) I cannot predict the future, but I can.(1:25:16) I know that people have trust that people that more people are waking up. (1:25:20) And I think that’s kind of where I’m getting is like, (1:25:22) we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. (1:25:23) We don’t have control over everything.(1:25:24) We know that. (1:25:26) But at least you’re seeing this shift of people (1:25:29) starting to at least go, oh, wait, pause for a second and go. (1:25:32) Let me look one more step into that, at least one more step.(1:25:35) And then also, let me look two steps into that, you know, (1:25:38) and then starting to crack that. (1:25:39) But it’s not just that. (1:25:40) I think you’re hopeful in that way.(1:25:42) Yeah, but also. (1:25:45) Believe that more people who have done the hard work, (1:25:50) having seen all the same thing about being deceased (1:25:54) and will just remain calm and be like this is (1:25:59) just the beginning of a longer process, because I think it’s not just about (1:26:02) waking up and being, oh, I know the truth. (1:26:04) I’ve looked at this kind of documentary.(1:26:06) No, no, no. (1:26:06) It’s about having done a lot of research, but also research on yourself (1:26:09) and being humble. (1:26:10) And if I want to believe in something, I hope this everything we’re going through, (1:26:14) this narcissistic attitude that we all have, the blaming culture, (1:26:19) the victimhood culture, the cancel culture.(1:26:21) We’ll go back to a bit more. (1:26:23) Let’s be more humble. (1:26:24) Let’s be more honoring what has happened before.(1:26:27) You know, I really what I also want to believe is that, (1:26:32) as you said, things are going to go back in order. (1:26:34) And in the West, we will also honoring things that happened before (1:26:39) what we said, the early civilization of the Greek and going back to Africa (1:26:43) to going back to actually where true knowledge has started, (1:26:47) where humanity has started, started in Africa. (1:26:50) Where humanity started.(1:26:51) And really, and I think, you know, because until you live in a lie, (1:26:54) until we start thinking everything started with the Greek. (1:26:57) No, no, no. (1:26:58) Where the Greek has started learning the knowledge from Africa (1:27:02) until we live in a lie and we want to believe a lie, shit will happen (1:27:05) until we start honoring the people who came first, (1:27:09) who gave us everything we know today.(1:27:12) Mathematic, philosophy, everything come from Africa (1:27:15) until we start really going back correctly and the right level of honoring. (1:27:19) We’re always going to going to turmoil. (1:27:22) And this is what I believe will happen.(1:27:26) I think that’s a perfect message to end. (1:27:30) So, Mr. Verdict, would you like to share some of your social media? (1:27:33) How can we get ahold of you? (1:27:34) I’ll put a few. Give me all your email stuff.(1:27:36) I’ll happily put it up on the, you know, in the in the link or whatever. (1:27:39) But please feel free to share us a little bit about yourself, (1:27:42) how we can get in contact with you and and thank you again for joining us. (1:27:47) Yeah, so people can find me on Substack, (1:27:49) so they just search for the verdict therapy and they can just follow me (1:27:54) or they can just go on LinkedIn.(1:27:56) There is a link on my Substack. (1:27:57) So feel free to share, comment, like and the work I do. (1:28:02) And obviously, I’ll be happy to go back to another episode, Mark.(1:28:06) Excellent. Well, thank you so much for joining us. (1:28:08) Welcome to the Knocked Conscious Family.(1:28:10) I would I’d be honored to be on your show. (1:28:12) You I haven’t shared anything about my experiences. (1:28:15) You would be I think you’d be surprised a little bit.(1:28:18) So thank you again. (1:28:20) Welcome to the family. (1:28:21) And we will talk with you again.(1:28:23) But I will get your links up and you have yourself a great evening. (1:28:26) OK, sir. Take care then.Bye bye. (1:28:29) Thank you. (1:28:48) But I really must say good night, sweetheart.

Journey to Truth w/ Mr. Verdickt: The Power of Lucid Dreams & Honouring Ancestors